Divergence: Choices

Chapter 13

We all gather in the Pit, Eric stands in front of the crowd, demanding silence in his presence.

"Quite down, everyone! As you know one of our initiates jumped into the Chasm last night."

I roll my eyes and begin to drown out his voice as he praises Al's bravery for jumping into the unknown. Eric's voice sounds genuine, but I know better. Whoops and hollers follow each pause in his speech, but my attention is no longer on Eric, it is on Tris.

I pat my coat pocket, the one containing the key to my past, to my fears, to my heart. The key I am about to hand Tris.

I watch her, slumped against the wall, her arms crossed. I see a few disgruntled shakes of her head, clearly appalled by this Dauntless tradition. I understand her disgust, in Abnegation, suicide is considered selfish, and is not spoken of.

Her eyes finally meet mine. I don't look away, I stare at her longer and harder than I ever have before. She returns my intensity. I try to will her with my eyes before turning and making my way through the crowd. The next part is on her.

I walk towards the Pit and begin to climb towards the glass ceiling. I walk slow enough to make sure Tris will be able to see me. It will be her choice if she want's to follow. My heart begins to race when I hear light footsteps in the distance, she followed me. All my doubts will have to be pushed to the side, there is no turning back now.

The climb is high, even though I've done it a hundred times the height still causes me to lose my breath. The glow of the city seeps through the windows. There is a midnight ordinance on lights, but lately Erudite has been running twenty-four hours a day. No doubt preparing for their war.

I stand at the door of the fear landscape room. Waiting for Tris to get closer. Without looking back at her, I offer her my secrets. "Since you're here, you might as well go in with me."

"Into your fear landscape?" She ask me, confused.

"Yes."

She finally walks closer to stand next to me. "I can do that?"

"The serum connects you to the program, but the program determines whose landscape you go through. And right now, it's set to put us through mine."

"You would let me see that?" She sounds nervous but at the same time curious.

"Why else do you think I'm going in?" I finally glance down at her, reminding myself of why I need to be brave in this moment. I let out the breath I have been holding. "There are some things I want to show you."

I reach into my pocket, retrieving a box that holds two syringes, one for her, and one for me. I take the first one and press it into her neck, she doesn't even wince anymore. I hand the second one to her, after all that was exposed to me in her last simulation, I want to even the score.

"I've never done this before." Her hand trembles as she takes the syringe from me.

"Right here." I say as I point to spot on my neck with my fingernail. Tris has to stand on her tiptoes to push the needle in, despite the shaking of her hand, she does it perfectly.

I offer her my hand, she laces her fingers with mine. Her hand feels warm against my cold and brittle fingers. Tris is quite, maybe in shock that we are about to do this. I open the door with my free hand and lead her into the dark. Her grip becomes tighter on my hand, but she is trusting me.

"See if you can figure out why they call me Four."

"What's your real name?" I can't help but wondering if she will remember me, if she will forgive me for not telling her sooner.