My Sunshine ✔

[ 30 ]

TW : Eating Disorder

It had been a week of not seeing Lewis. Narco was falling through a bottomless pit of guilt. He didn't even get a glimpse during the morning. The reasonable thought was Lewis overheard them and decided to stay in his room.

The food tasted bland, the house was eerily quiet, conversations were hushed, muffled whispers floated through one door, huffs and puffs and sobs.

"Baby, come on," Narco softly said, sitting on the floor and leaning against the door. "Sunshine, baby, dear, darling, honey, love, babe, Lew, please—"

"I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry," Narco rested the back of his head on the door. He heard empty shuffles around the room like usual. He sighed, tapping on his phone and sending a message to Lewis.

He had been sending the most honest and positive messages to Lewis to stop the harsh words that he would hear. A morale booster, if you will.

"Lew, please, I'm sorry." Narco pleaded, tears pricking his eyes. "Please," He croaked, resting his chin on his knees. The fabric soaked in salty tears.

"I c-can't—"

Narco straightened up. The fragile voice that rang in his eardrums made him happy. He had missed the sweet voice.

"Babe, I won't judge. Promise," Narco honestly said. He hung onto the hope of the door opening, finally seeing and not just hearing the man he longed for. Footsteps approached the door and Narco stood up. He waited for the lock to open so that he could hug Lewis.

The door creaked and Narco bit his lips nervously. It finally opened. Lewis stood there, hoodie extremely loose on his body, sweatpants sagging and falling down from his waist.

Narco immediately hugged Lewis and lifted the light man up.

"Oh my fucking god, Lewis," Narco cried as he buried his face in the skinny crook of Lewis' neck.

"I'm sorry—" Lewis started but was quieted when Narco kissed him.

"No, I'm sorry. I really am, Lewis. You scared me. I'm so, so, so sorry." Narco let his tears fall free. The transparent liquid cascaded down his face as he hung onto Lewis like the man was his lifeline. He was shaking as he pulled away.

The red and tired eyes stared at him. Bony fingers touched his cheeks, wiping the tears away. Narco smiled before he hugged the man again.

He missed the smell of tangerines that would linger around the room where Lewis was present. He missed the soft black hair he loved to run his fingers through. He missed the way Lewis smiled when he thought nobody was looking. He missed every part of Lewis.

"I'm sorry, Lewis. I'm sorry I chose work over you. I'm so sorry—"

"Shh," Lewis said and rocked side to side. "I'm sorry, too. I should not have been so rude and like this—" He gestured to himself.

"Fuck, don't blame yourself. I should've been more honest, I should've told you beforehand, I should've prioritized you, but I didn't. And I'm sorry. For everything." Narco sniffled as he ran his hands through Lewis' hair. It felt like heaven was in his hands. Familiarity loosened his tense fingers, hands clasping around his wrists to guide him.

"It's okay," Lewis smiled, pulling apart from the hug and giving a broken smile.

"It's not, really. I want to talk about it, please." Narco requested, eyes solemn and understanding.

Those deep brown eyes held an infinite pool of sadness. Lewis was too tired and drained to do anything, let alone talk. He was fighting the urge to hide, to disappear within himself. But he missed Narco. He trailed his fingers around Narco's lips. He wiped stray tears away.