My Sunshine ✔

[ 43 ]

"I got you a book," Narco waved the book in front of Lewis' face.

Lewis took the book. It was The Mechanical Arts. He teared up as he scanned the new book. "Could brought old one, idiot."

"I know," Narco shrugged, sitting down on the small stool next to the hospital bed. Lewis smiled as he flipped through the pages.

"Fuck," He swore and laughed aloud. Narco smiled as he held Lewis' thin hands in his own. Lewis was getting visibly worse and weaker, sentences cutting shorter and frowns being a constant. The first week of him staying in the hospital had resulted in a full-blown meltdown, eyes wide and scared as he stared at unfamiliar walls, screaming for Narco.

It stabbed Narco's heart, wrenching and shredding it till only a bloody mess remained. He couldn't do anything while Lewis suffered, it boiled his blood and froze it simultaneously.

Lewis looked worse than ever. His eyes were sunken and the glimmer had dissipated, leaving pure agony and fear. It was watching Lewis age, only that his body didn't match wrinkly skin, wise words, bright eyes. Narco regretted not noting the beautiful brown eyes. He regretted not appreciating Lewis and his beautiful features and the warmth ready for him to come home to. He hated that he was too late. He couldn't fathom the sheer beauty Lewis held in one finger.

"I fucking hate life." Narco rubbed his eyes to stop tears from falling.

"Same," Lewis smiled when Narco planted a soft kiss on the back of his hand. "I want blowwork." He admitted, not ashamed at all. Narco ruefully smiled at the word, it was amazing how Lewis associated similar words when he couldn't remember the actual word.

"We're in a hospital, babe,"

"Better," Lewis croaked, winking.

Narco couldn't disagree. He was feeling aroused by the new side of Lewis. The little smirk that Lewis held was seductive, mysterious, and daring. "We can't," Narco scratched his head, looking back at the door. As much as he was tempted, he'd rather not risk a nurse walking in on them. Lewis huffed in annoyance and closed his tired eyes. "When you'll get discharged," Narco pushed a deal and Lewis begrudgingly agreed. He didn't mention that Lewis would probably forget about this, him, them, everything. Sometimes, he wondered, if he was really fucked up because all he felt was numbness.

He'd rather spend his last week being productive rather than being silent and solemn, Lewis had told him through strings of words.

Narco smiled sadly as he watched Lewis struggle to keep hair out of his face. "Get out. Write." Lewis scowled at him, tightened his grip on Narco's hand.

"You can write in front of me, you know? I'll give you suggestions since you think I can write."

"I did?" Lewis toyed with the limp fingers, finding it fascinating. Narco muffled his sob against his shoulder. "Laptop?"

Narco grabbed the laptop under the bed, the back of his hand rubbing against pale ribbons. No amount of decoration could make hospice care lively. Lewis' memory had been getting worse for the past few weeks. Although the doctors said that was a symptom and he knew that, he couldn't help but worry.

They talked about everything and anything, grasping for more time, small smiles, teary eyes, cracked voices, empty promises.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you, Lew. I just want—"

"Never hurt me... no apologize..."

"But I can't live if I don't apologize for my mistakes. Just let me." His voice was cracking, his resolve crumbling. "Please," He added, barely managing to cork his feelings shut.

Lewis nodded, eyes worried even through the pain. Narco started to pour his heart out, stopping every second to gather himself and be strong.

Lewis wiped his tears, a broken smile on his lips, and nodded once. He winced in pain and Narco just watched, hoping he could take all the pain away, take the pain himself so his sunshine could live.

Narco pressed his lips against Lewis'; soft, gentle, worried, passionate. Lewis pressed harder, yearning for more than he could have, Narco understood. He worked his way skillfully, cupping Lewis' cheek and leaving feather-light touches on taut skin.

They parted for air. Narco left a tender kiss on Lewis' forehead. He wanted nothing more than to cuddle with Narco and kiss him to death, however poorly he managed to communicate that.

"I'm hungry," This earned a hearty laugh from Narco, and he ruffled Lewis' hair.

"Sandwich?"

Lewis nodded as he tugged on Narco's hand, stopping him from walking further away.

"Sunshine, how am I supposed to go if you hold on to me?" Narco smiled as he carefully wiggled his hands free. Lewis groaned, eyes sad, and let Narco go.

In some sick fucking way, his wish had been fulfilled.