brave//5SOS

30

Emily

I heard my phone buzz, picking it up in hope that Tom has texted. Niall told me he was spending a lot of time with Ashton, and I was worried sick.

And as much as I loved Luke, he wasn't who I was looking for.

Luke:
Hey, are you awake?

Emily:
yeah, I'm going to sleep soon though

Luke:
ok, I heard how brave you were earlier... I'm seriously so proud of how strong you are. I know we don't tend to have the serious talks but you really do make me so proud.

Emily:
I dunno, I feel like a child. I can barely do anything for myself anymore.
Emily:
Harry just told me to go to sleep

Luke: ok sweetheart, have a good rest. You are still a child Emily and everyone wants to help, ok? Goodnight xx

Emily:
Night x

**

There was no telling how I'd wake up feeling everyday. Some days were a living nightmare, but today, I was ok. There was just never a feeling good.

I slowly sat up, rubbing my eyes and walking out the room. Harry was also coming past and he stopped, walking with me.

"Morning love, how are you feeling?"

I shrugged and hung my head, reaching for his hand.

"Alright, do you think you can eat something for me? We need to take you to hospital today,"

Everyone else was at the table and I sat down next to Louis, feeling comfortable. I ate breakfast then got ready, putting on the comfiest clothes I had. Harry came through and hugged me, letting me have a moment to just breathe. I was so caught up in everything that I didn't give myself chance to stop.

"I feel like, it's going to be ok," I said, looking up at him.

"I think so too,"

We drove to the hospital, all of us stupidly dancing to be music. Liam had to go to work but I was comfortable enough with everyone else.

They took me to an exam room and sat me on the bed.

"Alright, we need to give you an exam, vaccinate you, do some scans and blood work. I know it sucks but you know how important this is," Louis said, sitting next to me. Harry logged on to the computer and Niall warmed up the stethoscope.

"Deep breathe in for me," he said, slipping it under my shirt. I took deep breaths in and out until he was happy and put it down.

"Is that the biggest breath you can take?"

I nodded and held Louis' hand, worried I'd messed their schedule up. He rubbed small circles on it while Niall talked to Harry.

"Have I messed it up?" I mumbled, looking down.

"No, we start the treatment when we are ready to... you're fine,"

They took my blood pressure, temperature, height and weight; Harry recorded it all.

"Can you lay down for me?" Niall asked; Louis stood up so I could lay down.

"This shouldn't hurt, if it does you need to tell me,"

He slipped his hands under my top, putting pressure on my stomach. I grabbed his wrist out of panic when he reached a tender area, making him stop.

"Did it hurt?"

"No just... pressure,"

"Yeah, you have some fluid build up which I expect is making it harder for your diaphragm to move...which makes your lungs not take as much air. We'll need to drain it out, but not today,"

"That was very professional," I teased.

"It's a professional job," he mocked, holding his hand out.

I sat up, letting Louis sit next to me again.

"What's been going on with your period then, have you had it?" Harry asked, turning round.

"When I had chemo it pretty much stopped," I mumbled, feeling uncomfortable in a room full of them, talking about it.

"Do you remember what they were like before? It'll possibly start after your last round of chemo with us,"

"Painful and annoying,"

They could definitely sense that I didn't want this conversation and moved onto the blood test. They took three different samples which made me feel quite dizzy.

"Harry, I don't feel great,"

"I know, eat your biscuits and just close your eyes," he said sympathetically, keeping his hand firmly on my knee. I did as he said but I didn't feel much better.

My head was spinning and the light burnt. There was only love involved , but I felt like an experiment. It felt like torture.

They wheeled me to the MRI scan, letting me change before lifting me onto the machine.

It was long and boring but nothing I wasn't used to. This had been my life for as long as I could remember. Louis and Niall stayed back to look at the scans which left Harry to stick even more needles in me.

I was fed up.

"I'm sorry it's been a long day, Niall wanted to check there was nothing dangerous with your lungs so we had to do longer testing. I promise we can go home after this," he said, preparing the needles.

"Now, any chance you could be pregnant," he teased, looking at me.

I went to make a joke, but then my mind went blank, and my body went numb.

Mood changes irritated me. Everything irritated me.

"Relax for me love,"

I looked away and felt the stinging through my arm. He put a plaster on and repeated it on the other side, pulling my sleeves down and wrapping his arms round me.

"I know you aren't one to hug people you've only just met, but you need it," he said quietly, not letting go until I shifted uncomfortably.

Niall and Louis came back, cleaning up and lifting me off the bed. I got into the wheelchair, barely having the strength to do that, and waited for them to take me to the car.

"I know for you, today has been draining and you feel awful, but you've not complained once, and our jobs have been made so much easier thanks to you," Louis said, helping me into the car.

"Well I've never complained before, why start now?"