brave//5SOS

40

Emily

"I think I'm gonna be sick again," I cried, Harry quickly handing me a sick bowl. Calum rubbed my back, and Michael made sure my cover stayed round my shoulders.

I'd said that sentence so many times.

I'd had this treatment so many times.

"Deep breaths," Louis reminded.

I squeezed my eyes shut and leant back, finding Calum's hand. This time round, my head was pounding and I felt dizzy. As Louis said, I took deep breaths, but it didn't do much.

Someone took my blood pressure, humming with dismay.

"Are you feeling dizzy?" Niall asked, making me nod.

"My head hurts and just everything," I whined, starting to cough. Michael gently rubbed my back while Harry took deep breaths for me to follow.

"We're gonna give you something for that, ok? Do you think you can go to sleep?"

"No,"

"Come on, I'm sure you can," Michael said, someone pulling the duvet over me.

I felt something cold on my arm, followed by a sharp scratch.

"Owwww," I groaned, beginning to cry.

"I know everything hurts, just relax," Calum said, kissing my forehead gently. I shook my head and opened my eyes, looking over at him.

"I know you're tired,"

"I'm not,"

"You couldn't even count down from ten if you tried,"

"Yes I... I could," I yawned, pouting at him.

"10,9,8"-

Accidentally, I hit someone as I woke up.

"Hey beautiful," Luke chimed, carefully squeezing my cheeks together. I smiled and lightly pushed him off. There were other people in the room- they were whispering.

"In three weeks, this round of treatment ends. If nothing's improved then we will have to take her off,"

"Can't they extend it. What if it just takes some time?"

"Trust me, I've been in and out every single day trying to do that. They're not budging,"

"So what do we do after, just leave her to,"- "don't listen to them,"

Calum sounded furious.

Luke turned me over and held my body close to him, putting something on Netflix.

But I couldn't help but think about what they were saying.

I just had to wait for the cancer to take over.

"Luke,"

"I know," he said quietly, kissing my forehead.

After tea, the two of us got ready for bed and crashed while watching Netflix again. Calum and Michael had gone for a meeting at the hospital.

I hated it, that they were talking about me while I wasn't there. This was my body but I didn't make decisions. I didn't even get to hear what they were saying.

With the cancer, I already felt out of control. Now I didn't even know what control was. It kept me up, until my body couldn't take any more.

"Emily, we need to get breakfast," Luke said, rubbing my shoulders to wake me up.

"I'm not hungry,"

"You need the food. It will make you stronger,"

I knew it would hit him hard. The other three were still in an angry state because they were in charge of sorting out my treatment, whereas Luke had got past it.

He didn't want to accept it. We were like family, after all.

I sighed and sat up, leaning into him.

"I feel better than yesterday," I mumbled, looking at the bag of clothes on the floor. All I needed to do was slip a hoodie and shoes on.

"Where are the other two?"

"They left early, I promise they'll be here tomorrow because we have a surprise for you," he grinned.

"Any hints?"

"My lips are sealed,"

We took the stairs down to breakfast and spotted a table, putting Luke's coat on it. I sat down and caught my breath, accepting the water Luke brought.

"You don't have to put piles on your plate, but try to at least fill it,"

"Luke," I mumbled, grabbing a plate.

"I didn't say you had to eat it all, and there's stuff that's not cooked too... I'll meet you back at the table ok?"

I nodded and queued up, putting egg, sausage and a hash brown on my plate. It made my stomach churn- I couldn't handle it much anymore. Luke was getting toast so I took a yoghurt and sat down, hoping he would accept it.

"That's as much as we're going to get huh?" he sighed, putting his own plate down and passing me toast. Somehow he'd also balanced a glass for himself too.

I nodded and slowly started eating; it was pretty good food.

"Luke, can you make a promise to me... or re-make one," I mumbled.

"What is it?"

"Can you still treat me like Emily until the very end,"

"There isn't going to be an end Emily," he said quietly.

"Just listen to me," I stressed, biting my lip.

"There is gonna be an end Luke and I know... I know it's gonna hit you hard. Please don't give up, so many people need you. I need you to keep going for me,"

He nodded and looked down, silently eating.

"I love you so much,"

"I don't want to lose you Emily," he said quietly. I'd never heard him so defeated. "I don't know how I can stop it,"

"We can't,"