brave//5SOS

Tom

I climbed in the back of the car, not wanting mum to see whatever this was yet. Luckily, she got the hint that I wasn't interested in talking.

I opened it up and saw a neatly folded piece of paper.

A letter.

How old was this? It looked fairly new...

My hands trembled as I opened it, biting my lip as I scanned over it. She'd really thought ahead and that hurt.

It seemed only she was ready for her death.

Dear Tom,

First of all, I love you. I love you so much and I know this will have hit you hard.

Please don't stop your life, I'm begging you. I know how it feels to lose someone and I don't know how you reacted- I hope you let it out. It feels like your whole world has crashed down and come to a halt. You don't know what to do, how to live... it seems impossible.

Talk to someone. That's what I'm gonna say to you. Ashton and the guys are fine but they're also in a state and they won't be showing you half of what they're feeling so talk to someone else. I'm sure Ashton offered to help find someone.

Thankyou Tom, for listening to me moan about everything, listening to my hopes and ambitions, listening to me cry or laugh. You were always there for me and now it's my turn to always be there for you. I'm always gonna be by your side because you're the best friend anyone could ask for. If I had to chose the best decision I made in my short life time, it was becoming friends with you.

You gave me so many memories to smile about. At times like these, you crave another hug, another day, another smile... you might always. Just remember that to me, we had enough.We had the perfect balance.

It's selfish, but another day meant more pain. Another hug took all the energy I had left.

In this envelope is a photo from some day in my second cancer treatment. To you, it could've just been a fun day but it was everything to me. Even if I couldn't run around, you still played tig with me and my wheelchair. We read, watched a film, did some terrible drawings of the boys- each day with you was perfect.

I know that I'll be begging not to go but I had to and I wouldn't have asked for anything different. Thankyou for always being by my side, you'll always be my partner in crime.

Love from,
Emily xx

I became so lost in the letter that I didn't realise I was crying.

But as she told me, I just had to remember... I'd eventually be ok.

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