brave//5SOS

43

Ashton

Tom hadn't come over since I told him.

Since I told him her treatment wasn't carrying on. It worried me; even his mum refused to talk to me.

Emily only had one more round left and I was positive there would be no change. I didn't know what to do.

How the boys had stayed strong for her the past two weeks, I didn't know. Seeing her would probably make me cry.

I parked the car in the arrivals, putting a blanket in the front seat for her. Calum told me they'd just got their bags but Emily was a little slow today. It was the morning and I suspected Emily had slept on the plane,so I asked Tom if he wanted to come over.

None of us wanted a repeat of what happened with her mum.

I saw them all heading over and climbed out the car.

"Ashton," she breathed out, falling into my arms.

"Hey baby, how are you feeling?"

"I've been better,"

"Let's get you home, there's a blanket in the front,"

I kissed her forehead and let her get in the car, helping the others load the suitcases. We all hugged, needing each other the most we ever have for a long time. They all squashed in the back making Emily laugh, Luke having to lean on Calum's shoulder.

She leant against the door and closed her eyes, cuddling under the blanket. Moments like those were so peaceful and she looked so comfortable. There was no pain.

Tom still hadn't replied so I was surprised to see him outside when we pulled up. He almost immediately ran to Emily's door and opened it, hugging her so she didn't fall out.

"I missed you,"

"I missed you too,"

She kept her eyes closed and put her weight on him, making him stumble back. I laughed and picked her up.

"Someone's sleepy, why don't we go to your room and you can watch a film together,"

We went up to her room, tucking her in bed and sorting out the tv. I tried to leave but she pulled me back, whining.

"I've got to sort out the bags. I'll come back up later and cuddle yeah?"

She sulked and nodded, letting me go downstairs. After flights, she always felt rubbish. Technically she shouldn't be flying, but we wanted her over here.

We needed her over here.

"Is she ok?" Calum asked, handing me a cup of coffee.

"I guess. This is the first time I've seen Tom in weeks,"

"He's so upset, it's not hard to tell," Luke said.

"I wouldn't expect anything different. What worries me is how she's basically not talked about it at all," Michael said, picking up his suitcase.

"She doesn't want to upset us,"

Calum looked down, his whole body language shifting. I put our coffees down and wrapped my arms round him, letting him sob onto my shoulder. I knew it would hit him hard, but not this hard.

"It's ok, hey? It's going to be tough and it seems impossible to get through it- I know... but we can,"

He shook his head and put more of his weight into me, Luke coming behind and also hugging him.

"I'm not ready either," he said quietly.

"I don't think it's a thing we can be ready for. Around her, we have to act like it's ok, otherwise she will break down more,"

"I couldn't do this without you guys," Calum said, taking a deep breath and standing up straight.

I got Emily a glass of water and went upstairs, finding her very dozy. She smiled and made space for me to climb in the bed.

"Come here sweetheart," I said quietly, pulling her into my chest. Ensuring a cover was over her shoulders, I rubbed her back gently while she watched the film. By the end, she was asleep.

"Tom, talk to me bud,"

He looked up at me, pain shooting through his eyes.

"She's gonna die. What do I do without my best friend Ashton, the world is gonna be so much quieter, so much dimmer,"

"Don't take this in the wrong way, because all four of us are going to need it too, but maybe we should find you someone to talk to. I know plenty of people at the hospital- would you like that?"

He nodded and looked at her, starting to tear up.

"She's so beautiful, and she's never going to realise that. She's never going to graduate, get a job, have a family. She's never had a family Ashton, never,"

"Remember what she has had though. Memories with us all, a great friend, four people who have looked after her, and lots of laughter. I know it's not the same, I know,"

"I love her Ashton. I don't want her to go,"

"She's so sick bud. She isn't showing it, she is really trying not to, but she is. You letting her know that it's ok to go - even if it's not for you- is going to take so much pressure off her. She's in pain,"

He stayed silent, wiping the tears off his face.

"Tom, she needs to go,"