Luke

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I buried my head in my pillow, not being able to comprehend that she was gone.

That she knew she was going and wrote us letters. The pain she must've been in- oh god. I let her down. Big time.

I fumbled with the letter, getting it open and sitting up, wiping my tears.

It was actually the end and I didn't want it to be. I wasn't ready.

Dear Luke,

The most peaceful person I know. Apart from when you're running round the house or cracking jokes while I lay on the chair, my heart pounding.

Actually, I don't think anyone but me thinks that you're calming. You're crazy.

Ever since the day I met you, I've loved spending time with you. There's no judgment and I can be myself. You treat me as Emily -just Emily- and I can't thank you enough.

When I'm scared, you take things slow and help me keep calm. You make me feel so confident and like I can conquer the world. I was so fed up of people being sorry for me but I think you saw that.

When I'm spending time with you, it's like nothing else matters. I turn my focus to whatever we are doing and they're the best times in my life.

Some of my best memories are times with you.

You're like a giant cuddly bear, full of happiness who is willing to do anything for anyone. You made me promises and kept them, not matter how long we had to wait. Please frame the photo of us at the theme park, hopefully my smile can bring you as much joy as your one does to me.

Thanks for seeing me as Emily. Thanks for helping me smile and thanks for trying to understand everything.

Also, this is the last letter I'm writing and it's really bad because I don't know how to put it.

I don't know what to say and I've been putting off your letter for days. I don't want to accept that I won't be around you anymore and that it's over. I don't know, like I'm ready and it's so hard to keep fighting but I don't want to leave you guys.

I don't want your lives to change and I don't want to put you guys through the pain I went through.

It sucks, but you can make it.

Sorry if you can't read my handwriting, I'm struggling to write and this doesn't say what I want it to say but I just really love you Luke.

I really love you.

When the time is right, maybe you'll see.

Thankyou wanna-be-scary-giant-cuddly-bear for always being by my side.

Love from,
Emily xxx

Ps. I told Sierra you like her. You might as well get married.

Even in the darkest times, the girl managed to crack a joke.

"Oh sweetheart, you were so brave," I breathed out, shakily wiping my tears.

I went downstairs, finding everyone else already down there.

We sat together on the sofa, all of us in silence.

We'd all had a different experience.

We'd all had a different letter.

But we were all thinking the exact same thing.


That was one hell of an adventure with an incredible girl.

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THE END

Wow. This book was a rollercoaster to write and I can't thank you guys enough for all the votes, comments and reads.

So much time went into this book and so much research to try and make it as accurate as possible. I'm fully aware that some parts aren't but it's for the sake of the story line.

I wrote the whole book once, then edited and edited it and it took me ages to convince myself to upload the first chapter. I'm pretty sure I took it down again before putting it up forever.

I never expected this to get so much attention.

Writing roughly the last ten chapters broke my heart and took my several days because I kept crying so much. It's strange how much of a connection you can have with characters and I felt a bit like John Green tbh.

I hoped this book displayed the importance of family and friendship as well as how you can keep fighting through whatever you are going through. We all need each other.

Thankyou so, so much for all the reads and comments because it brings a smile to my face whenever I receive them.

A special thanks to 5SOTOP_2003 , alienatheart15 and anapaudt for the comments, votes or messages they leave for me. It really does mean a lot, especially because I had this book in my drafted for so long.

Thankyou guys again!!!

The epilogue will be up soon :) aka tomorrow probably cos I'm impatient

Love you guys.

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