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"You never told us you got accepted to Johns Hopkins," Edward said Monday morning, his arm wrapped around Bella's shoulders. She shot me an apologetic look.

I shrugged. "I haven't decided what I'm going to do yet."

"You were accepted to Johns Hopkins?!" Alice squealed, positively beaming from her place beside Jasper. "How did I not know?"

"Because I haven't decided what to do yet," I said. "It was pure luck, really. It came on a Saturday and I told Esme I'd grab the mail that day while I went on a walk."

"Carlisle will be thrilled. He would never pressure you to do anything, but he's really pleased that you're considering following in his footsteps," Edward told me.

Warm happiness curled through me at the revelation - even after four years I was still always pleasantly surprised at receiving approval and pride from a fatherly figure like Carlisle or Emmett.

Edward smiled slightly when he heard my thoughts, though there was an element of sadness to it. "You should tell him, maybe he can give you some insight. Regardless, I know he'd really love to know."

"Perhaps you're right," I agreed, and it was that conversation that led me to stand awkwardly outside Carlisle's office later that night, unsure on whether or not he would want to be bothered with this.

"Are you going to stand outside Carlisle's door all night?" Rose asked, her tone gentle despite the amused smile that played on her perfect features. "What are you doing out here, anyway?"

"I don't want to bother him," I admitted.

"Hey, you wouldn't be bothering him. Why don't we talk? Tell me what's bothering you," she said, her cool fingers tucking a few strands of hair back behind my ear. I leaned into her touch.

"Alright," I said, and I knew without being told where we would go to talk: the garage, which was practically Rose and Emmett's second bedroom.

"So what's on your mind? Is it school, are kids giving you trouble?" Rose asked, and she had gone through several iterations of worry before I spoke to stop her questions.

"No, no, I'm fine. Really," I said, upon seeing her skeptical expression.

"Was it one of the kings, because I can promise I'll kick their asses if they-"

"Nobody will be kicking anyone's asses," I interrupted, laughing. "And it's not them. It's not a problem, not really."

"Then what is it? I'm worried, you just seem so subdued lately. I know that things can't be easy for you right now, but I want you to know you can talk to me about anything."

I leaned into her shoulder. "I know. It's just- well, I got my acceptance letter to Johns Hopkins University but I don't know if I even want to go, with everything happening. Bella thinks I should go, or at least to go some college in Italy, and I know Edward probably agrees, but I'm not sure what I want to do."

"It's your decision, Rowan. Think about you, and what will make you happy, but don't give up the opportunity to enjoy your remaining years as a human, either." There was a sad glint in her eyes, and I knew becoming a vampire wasn't the life she wanted for me.

"I know. That's why I'm so torn," I said softly. "That's why I wanted to talk to Carlisle, see what he thinks. Hence me lurking outside his office."

"Well, I wouldn't say you were lurking," she said with a smile. "Loitering, maybe."

"Rose, lurking is like half of what I do," I joked. "I think it's a pretty apt description."

She laughed, shaking her head before returning to our original line of conversation. "You should talk to Carlisle to see what he thinks. All I want is for you to be happy, Rowan. If you decide to go to Johns Hopkins, or to a college in Italy, or not at all, it doesn't matter. Emmett and I will be proud of you no matter what. We're so proud of you already."

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