Tenebrous ↠ Volturi Kings {1} ✓

030

"This isn't over, Carlisle," Caius said, but he caught glimpse of me and his voice lost its edge.

"Of course. We'll give you some privacy. Edward," Carlisle said, beckoning for Edward to follow him out of the room. My brother flashed me a small smile as he left.

I could feel the kings' eyes on me as they assessed my physical state. None of them seemed certain as to whether they should approach until I reached out my good arm for them. Marcus gently took my hand, perching on the edge of the bed, as Caius traced the bandages on my arm so carefully that I barely felt it.

"What happened here?" he asked quietly. His voice was rough, and I could saw his stress in the way his hand trembled.

"Cigarette butts," I murmured in response. Caius's hand stilled as his whole body stiffened. I wished I could say something to soothe him, allay his worries, but I wasn't okay. And he wouldn't believe me if I said that I was.

Instead, I turned my attention to the only one of my mates that was not currently touching me. Aro had seated himself on the opposite side of the bed from Marcus, where my shoulder was so tightly bound that I couldn't move it. Regardless, I reached towards him as much as I could.

"Are you sure?" he asked, his hand hovering a hairsbreadth above my own.

"I'm sure," I said, my fingers curling up around his own. Aro stilled, his eyes glassing over as he relived my memories.

"How are you feeling?" Marcus asked, pulling my attention away from his brother. I met his concerned eyes, ruby behind brown contacts.

I lifted my good shoulder in a half-shrug. "I've been better. Did the guard- did they tell you what happened? To him?"

"Demetri said he was dead. I assume one of them killed him, though I would have preferred to have that honor for myself," Caius said, a low growl rumbling in his chest.

"That's not... that's not what happened," I said, staring at the ceiling tiles. I wasn't sure if I was dismayed the guard hadn't told them or relieved.

"What did happen, tesoro?" Marcus asked gently.

"I killed him," I whispered. The scene played out behind my eyes. "I ripped his throat out with my teeth and watched as he died."

"Doing so probably saved your life, there's nothing to be ashamed of," Marcus said, lightly squeezing my hand.

Caius hissed, eyes glittering. "He deserved it."

"That's not all, I-" I faltered, almost too horrified to continue speaking the truth I could barely admit to myself. "There's a part of me that enjoyed it."

"He nearly killed you, mia cara. Many times. Done unspeakable things, hurt you in the way only a father could. My brother is right, he deserved it. And after all that your father did, you're allowed to enjoy it," Aro said.

My father's blood tasted sour on my tongue. I didn't want to enjoy killing him. I didn't want to feel like I was everything he had always said I was. I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to barricade my tears.

"Let yourself feel, Rowan. You've been through the unimaginable, it's not healthy to keep these emotions bottled up," Marcus said.

My resolve cracked and I was sobbing, reaching for whoever was closest. Caius pulled me into his chest and the kings let me cry until my tears dried and my head ached. I kept my face buried in Caius's shirt for a long time after that, because letting go meant facing the world and telling them I was okay even if I wasn't.

Because being with my mates was so simple that I didn't have to worry, I could just be and that was enough.

"You're going to get through this, mia cara," Aro said softly, his thumb rubbing circles on the inside of my wrist. "We'll make sure of it."