Keep Calm, Stay Strong

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Christen's Pov.

After Tobin walked out from the class room, I sat on a desk and gave a long sigh. What have I done? I collected myself and walked out of the room, and continued down to the athletic office. As soon as I arrived at my office, I sat down, and started "working" on things. I could not concentrate on anything but Tobin. 

How could I be so stupid in letting this happen? I'm so DEAD. I didn't realize my hands were super clamy, not too mention they were shaking. 

I desperately grabbed each of my hands, hid them under the desk, and took deep breaths. I was concentrating so hard, that I I didn't notice Kelley coming in.

"Christen!"

"Huh?!" I jumped a little, and turned towards the door frame.

"I was just saying that I'm going to leave early to pick my mom at the airport, that's okay right?"

"Yeah..of...of course go ahead. Sorry, I'm just so busy. You know how it is," I cleared.

She nodded, "Hey, if there is anything you need, my door is always open," she reasured, "thanks," I said. I gave a smile and as soon as she left, my bright face faded back to concern.





As the day was going on, I was having a hard time concentrating. I would either zone out and not pay attention to other teachers, or I would shut myself in my office. You fucking idiot, why do you have feelings for a student? 

When Kelley and Carli asked if I wanted to go to lunch with them, I said I was not hungry, but thanked for their offer, and slouched back in my chair.

 I would usually walk around the fields or walk by the Hall Of Fame Wall from past athletes that attended here, but I could not manage to get myself five feet away from my office, unless it was towards the bathroom.

I could not bare this anymore, and the emotions that were running through me were bursting at their seams. I decided this wasn't good for me, so I forced myself to at least step outside and take in some fresh air. 

Standing out in the somewhat cool air with wind made my lungs expand again, and I was able to breath a little better. I sat on a bench, and closed my eyes to listen to the natural noises. I need to calm DOWN.

I was starting to feel better, when a nearby door opened, and a bunch of kids came out and started to throw a ball around. I suddenly felt the same negative feelings again and walked back inside to my office.

>>>>

It was almost time to go to the field for practice, but I was in no mood to see the team, and especially Tobin. I know we need to talk about us, and when I mean talk, sit down, talk for at least awhile, and to resolve some things. 

But she made it clear she needed space and to figure things out on her own, and I needed to give her that. When the bell rang, I grabbed my bag, my hat and sunglasses and started walking out to the pitch.

When I arrived, I saw Kelley and Carli sitting on the bench.

"Hey guys," I said.

"Hi Christen, how's it hanging?"

"I'm sorry for being kinda flakey today. I'm just caught up in some busy work."

"We have those days man, let's just make this practice worth while," said Carli.

When the girls started arriving, I made sure I was off to the side so I would avoid Tobin. I heard some laughter, and one stood out to me, and I knew it was her.

Five minutes later, I made the captains start their warm up. When they were done, we started working on specific drills that seperated defenders and attackers.

 I made sure that I was with defence, so I wouldn't be around Toin. At first, Kelley looked at me weird that I was over here, but I made her go to attackers.

"Good ladies, make sure the pace is game speed. Hey Julie! Make sure your hips aren't squared with the opponent, your going to get megged easily."

I heard her groan and grumble something under her breath, but I let it slide.

"Tobin Tobin!" a teammate called out. I looked towards the voice, and saw the ball go sailing over to the other side of the field. Tobin was on the line, ready to trap the ball, but when she took the first touch, it rolled farther out than she wanted, and was faced against Becky Saurbrunn. At the end, Becky took it from her, and sent it to Morgan. Tobin yelled in frustration and sprinted back.

"Hey, you okay Tobin?" asked Lindsey, "yeah, stupid mistake on me," she said shortly.

There was no denying that what happened to us is getting in the way with her focuse on soccer, and if this is kept up, she's not going to have a successful season.

After I saw enough of them playing, I called them in, "Saw some nice hustling girls, but what's a good practice without some conditiong?" In response, some girls moaned.

"You're going to grab a partner, and both of you stand on the base line of the field, and one will run to the half line at 50% and then run at a 75% back, then SPRINT back to the half line. Once they're done, the other goes. We'll do this three time each, then we're done."

The girls started finding partners, and I curiously looked ot see who Tobin chose, and she chose Mal. They all lined across the line, Tobin going first. 

As I saw the girls ready behind the line, I put the whistel to my mouth, and blew to start. They started running, and then as they touched the half line, their pace quickened and ran back. Finally, they sprinted across the half line again. 

They did as I told them, and by the time they were done, they were either holding their hands on their legs, leaning over, and some were sitting down. I quickly gave a peak at Tobin, and she had her arms abover her head while standing up. 

I blew my whistle again, signaling for them to come in. "Okay ladies, that was good. Saw all of you giving it your all. You earned a goods work. Practice is over, rest up for tomorrow's practice. Captains."

Megan made everyone circle around, then they put their hands in the middle and on the count of three, they cheered Family. As they were packing their things, I couldn't resist but to look over at Tobin again. 

She was putting her cleats away, until she lifted her eyes to meet mine. We looked at each other for a moment, until she broke the stare and she finished grabbing her stuff and walked off with Morgan and Julie. 

My heart dropped a little, but knew I had to keep thinking to mysef Tobin needs time, and I'll give her time damnit. 

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