Turn for the Worst

Chapter 69

Emma kicks back on the way home, holding Killian's hand the entire time as he drives them back to Boston. Henry fell asleep in the back, leaving the two to talk privately.

"I can't believe you were going across the state looking for me," Emma says, staring at him in wonder.

"I'd go to the ends of the earth for you Swan..." he says.

Emma turns to look at him. "That's a pretty strong statement even though we've only been together for a few months."

"It feels like more... so much more."

Emma smiles. "The entire time I was in the cabin, I just kept thinking about you and Henry. You two were the only things that kept me sane even on the darkest of days. Every night I would try and go to sleep, picturing you in my head in the hopes of having pleasant dreams. Provide an escape from the hell I was living."

Killian swallows hard. He doesn't want to imagine what Emma went through, he might lose his own sanity if she even describes what the monster did to her.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you about not using protection the second night."

"Why are you sorry?"

"I-I-I just assumed that the last thing you wanted was a child right now and like you said, we've only been courting for a few months."

"Courting? What are you from the '20s?" Emma jokes. She leans over and kisses him on the cheek. "I'm grateful Killian. Your indecision likely saved my life and gave me a reason to keep fighting. Although, the morning sickness I won't thank you for."

"W-Would it is any different if... the thing didn't happen?"

Emma bites her lip and goes quiet for a few moments. If none of this had ever happened, would she still want the baby? They had only dated for three months, which wasn't a lot of time to really get to know one another or even look at a future. She hadn't really thought if she saw a future with him; four months ago, what she was concerned about was helping Henry get used to the idea that she was dating again. They were still in the early stages of a relationship and after spending such a long time with Neal, she didn't really want to think about it. She'd spent three years mourning over the loss of him and isolating herself from men in general. She built up those walls again to prevent any more pain and for a long time, she thought that he left because of her, that she did something to upset him. She blamed herself like she always did, she thought she was the reason why no one wanted her anymore and it was the reason she was guarded and distant with everyone. Now that she knew the truth, it did not make that part of her life any better, but it was allowing her to move on, start anew. Of course, the baby was rushing things quite a bit, but she did want to be with Killian. After what he did to try and bring her home, she knew he was unlike anyone she'd met before and wouldn't run away when things got tough. And the road ahead was going to be hard. With the new addition on the way, they would have to determine living arrangements, should Killian live with them? The apartment was too small for three, let alone four, they might have to move. Then child support and getting all the baby materials, ensuring that Arthur was locked away forever... Would Killian want to stay with her? Should they get married to provide the baby with a stable family life? What about Henry?

Emma leans back, her mind extremely overwhelmed. The euphoria of being saved had now passed and reality was creeping back in. She knew she couldn't just go back to her old life now, things could never be as they were... her world was changing. The thing was, would it be any different if Arthur had never grabbed her at the bar.

"I don't really know..." she says quietly, blinking back fresh tears. It was a miracle that she was still hydrated after all the crying she'd done over the past few hours. "We'll never really know anyway."