Is he really a bad boy? [English]

~Chapter 75~

NICA POV

"Stop moving the fuck around! You cause yourself more pain when you move!", James said as he tied my hands behind my back with a cable tie. Since the last time we saw each other he hadn't changed much on the outside but still, he seemed different. Older. His shoulders had become wider. His face was more angular and you could see beard stubbles on his face. His eyes also didn't seem as alive as they used to. Now they were empty and crazy.
We had been on the roof of the Black Building, one of his favorite places, since then. After he had stopped me at school, he had forced me to go with him. He first drove silently through town and then to the Black Building and now we were on the roof. Of course, I could have screamed or defended myself, but he had threatened to hurt my father and I couldn't take that risk.
"Why are you doing all this?", I asked him when I had followed his advice and stopped moving; the cable tie rubbed my wrist sore and it really did less when I didn't resist anymore. He sat down on the floor a few feet in front of me and put his hands in his lap; in his hand, he held a weapon. It was a black gun, often seen in movies. Did he intend to use it?
"I went to prison because of you. And do you know how bad it was in there? No, you don't know, you can't even imagine how bad it was in there!", he took a short break, "I didn't pick up the soap after the first time." He sounded like it had been a really terrible time that he had spent in prison. If it wasn't for our past, I probably would have felt sorry for him.
"It's your own fault, James."
"We could have prevented all this if you hadn't immediately started dating other guys as soon as we had a little argument."
"What are you talking about? I didn't make a move on anyone. I broke up with you because you got so aggressive because of every little thing! And your terrible jealousy!"
"Every son of a bitch wanted something from you! From my girlfriend!", he stood up and came very close to me again, I could feel his breath on my face, "I couldn't bear the thought of someone touching you, of someone hurting you.", he put his hand under my chin and forced me to look at him. "You belong to me, Ronnie!", he breathed against my lips, "You belong only to me!" I was overcome with such disgust that I almost threw up. My body was covered with goosebumps. He had always said the same thing before: You belong to me Ronnie, only to me! In the past, however, I had never really taken it as seriously as I should. But now I understood what he was getting at when he said it. He regarded me as his possession, nobody was allowed to touch me or even look at me, but he was allowed to do whatever he wanted with me. That was his logic, which he also followed.
"I do not belong to you, James!", I replied and looked into his eyes so that he could see that I meant it seriously.
"Who do you belong to if not me? Your new lover? The one with all the tattoos? Do you belong to him, Ronnie?" My heart stopped for a moment when he mentioned Maxim and my chest tightened painfully.
"Did you think I didn't know anything about him?", he asked me. That was exactly what I had hoped! Probably he had seen my frightened facial expression. Since I said nothing, he continued: "I didn't even know you liked punks, Ronnie."
"He's not a punk!", I attacked him and immediately thought of the conversation with my mother. His eyes widened and a smile formed on his face.
"Did I hit a sore spot?", he asked amusedly. I turned away from him and tried not to react. I did not let him do that. "Don't you want to talk about him?" he laughed and stood up. James walked a few steps away from me and lifted the gun, at first I thought he wanted to use it. He wanted to shoot me. Wanted to kill me. But he only lifted it to scratch his head with it.
Now that I had a closer look at him I noticed his insecurity. He seemed indecisive and somehow even lost.
"What are you going to do with me?", I asked him. "Will you kill me?"
"I won't kill you!", he replied indignantly as if he wasn't holding a weapon in his hand and I wasn't tied up here.
"What will you do then? Let me be tied up here? Sooner or later someone will come up here and find us."
"If your new lover comes looking for you, I'll just shoot him."
"You wouldn't do that!" I whispered in a choked voice. Just the thought that Maxim could die because of me caused panic to break out in me. Before I had hoped that someone would free me, but now I wish nothing more than that my father and Maxim would be at home. Nobody should look for me. They would be in far too great a danger if they showed up here. Maybe they hadn't even noticed that I was gone. How much time had passed in the first place?
"Of course I would. I will shoot everything and everyone who stands between you and me. You belong to me and it will stay like that."
"Do you really think that I would ever get together with you again? After everything you've done to me?" He ran up and down and chewed on his lip. Then suddenly he came back to me with quick steps and crouched down right in front of me.
"If I could, I would undo everything. Everything I did to you.", he said gently and I almost felt sorry for him.
"But you can't undo it. Never! Again!"
"I know! I know!", he said desperately.
"You have humiliated me too deeply!", he shouted that I should keep my mouth shut, "you have hurt me as nobody has ever done before!"
"Stop it!"
"You have hurt my pride and my dignity!"
"No! Stop it!", he shouted.
"You rap-"
"STOP THIS!", he yelled and pulled out his hand and slapped me in the face. My head was hit against the stone wall behind me with such incredible force that I began to see stars before my eyes. I felt my head pound painfully and something warm flowed down my cheek. Most likely it was blood. He jumped up and ran backward dazed. He looked at me with frightened eyes. He had not wanted it. It was a reflex-like reaction. I was aware of that. He had already had this back then. He could never control his aggressions. He also liked it the moment he was hurting the person, but in hindsight, he regretted it as soon as he realized what he had done. Nevertheless, it was unforgivable.
"I am so sorry, Ronnie! I'm so fucking sorry!", he apologized to me, disappointed in himself. He drove himself through his hair and looked as if he would start crying at any moment. I had a hard time keeping my eyes open. I was really dizzy and my head hurt incredibly.
"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.", he kept mumbling to himself.
"Come here.", I said to him and had to swallow my anger and disgust. He looked up at me and hope began to shimmer in his eyes. James came to me and sat down on the floor opposite me. He put his hands in his lap and looked at me. The gun was next to him on the floor.
"I'm not mad at you.", I lied to him.
"Really?", he asked delightedly and a smile appeared on his face.
"No."
"Thank God!", he said and exhaled with relief.
"You don't have to do that.", I said after we both hadn't said anything for a while.
"Keep you here?", he asked and I nodded and suppressed the throbbing pain in my head. "I know.", he said and buried his face in his hands, then he drove through his hair and looked at me again.
"Then why are you doing this?"
"I want you to be with me. And you wouldn't have talked to me any other way.", he replied and meant it that way.
"That will not end well."
"I know."
"You could let me go.", I said to him, "I wouldn't say anything to anyone either."
"Yes, you would!", he replied.
"No, I would not. If I promised you, then I would not tell anyone. I swear it!", I meant it exactly as I said it.
"You could build yourself a real life. And make up for your mistakes. You could get help. As for your aggression.", I spoke as calmly as possible so that he wouldn't think about freaking out. "You know yourself that you need help."
"I know.", he replied desperately and rose. "I am sorry. Everything I have done. What I did to you, Ronnie. Really. I'm such an asshole, fucking shit!", he shouted and lifted the pistol dangerously high. I flinched several times, but he didn't notice. "Everything could have gone so well between us. If I hadn't been such an asshole." He was right. If he had his aggression under control and all the things he had done to me had not happened, then maybe we would still be together. After all, things went really well between us back then, you couldn't deny that.
"Please let me go.", I asked him, "Don't make it worse. Please, James! I swear I won't go to the police or tell anyone else! It remains our secret, okay? Please!" He hesitated and seemed to struggle with himself whether to let me go or not. After feeling a century, he finally made up his mind.
"Okay.", he murmured and came closer to me. At first, I wondered why he had to get so close to me until I finally noticed that I still had the cable ties tied around my wrists. When he had finally removed the cable ties and I was back on my feet, I immediately felt freer. In movies, this would be the moment where the prisoner would take the gun away from the kidnapper or knock him away or kill him. But I didn't do any of that. I just waited for him to let me go. I was not allowed to break his trust now. It would destroy him and it would not end well for me either if I resisted now. Besides, he still had the gun in his hand that was dangerously close to my body.

Next, several things happened at once. The iron door was opened, a slamming shot came out of the gun, Maxim came running through the door, James and Maxim both screamed and I fell on my knees. James staggered backward and Maxim ran over to me. Before I could land on the ground with my head, Maxim caught me.
"Veronica!", he shouted, "Hey, babe, listen to me, okay?", he said gently and held me in his arms. I felt incredible pain, but I didn't know where it came from. Besides, I was hot, it felt like my whole body was on fire and burning all the time, and then, all of a sudden, the pain stopped. I did not know what was happening around me, I heard nothing. I only saw James screaming and banging against a wall a few yards away from us, Maxim said something all the time but I couldn't understand him. I tried to read his lips and the only thing I could recognize was my name. He looked worried and somewhere desperate. But why? He put one hand on my cheek and stroked gently over it and then he took off his shirt which he was wearing and crumpled it together, then he pressed it against my chest but I felt nothing. What was happening? And why didn't I feel anything?
"Maxim!", I said his name. "Maxim what is happening?", I asked him but he did not answer. Why didn't he answer me?
"Maxim! Maxim!", over and over again I repeated his name and asked him to tell me what was going on, but there was no answer. At some point I started to get tired, I had to pull myself together, not close my eyes but I didn't succeed. I saw Maxim's worried face with half-closed eyes and smiled at him.
"Baby, stay awake okay?", I finally heard him say. "Look at me baby, look at me!", he asked and I did. Somehow the sound in his voice gave me a strange feeling. As if he would say goodbye. As if it would be the last time that we see each other.
"Veronica, baby, stay awake okay? The emergency doctor will be here soon. You'll feel better soon, but look at me! Stay awake!", he pleaded and I saw tears begin to run down his cheeks. Why was he crying? I raised my hand and wiped his cheek.
"Will you play for me again?", I asked him as he put his hand over mine and I looked at his fingers and remembered how he played the piano for me at home.
"For you always, baby.", he promised gently and smiled sadly. The last thing I caught was Maxim saying my name and another shot.

3 Chapters left.....