Tennessee Rose

Part 27 - Rose

Written by ehux02

January 2024
My Christmas trip to visit Marshall was ending. Since we woke up this morning, the mood and atmosphere had been heavy.  After we got back to Detroit from our short trip to the cabin, we spent our days watching movies and eating way too much. It’s now Sunday and I have to return to work tomorrow. Marshall is driving me to the airport. Since the realization that I loved him, it’s been getting harder and harder to keep my hands to myself. I haven’t told him yet, but I will when the time is right. We’ve also spent very little time talking about our relationship status. We discussed visiting each other more often and I’m sure we will still talk all day like normal. We just haven’t defined anything yet. 

Marshall snaps me from my thoughts by pulling the hand he was holding up to his lips. I look up and we are driving through the gate at the airport. He stops the car and we both just sit in silence for a moment. I do not want to get out of his car. I pull my hand from his grasp and cup his cheek. “I’m going to miss you, Marsh.”
He sighs and says “Imma miss ya too. I’ll see you Friday, right?”  I smile and nod my head. We decided last night that he was spending the upcoming weekend with me and I would spend the following weekend in Detroit. “Stay at my house please. I stay at yours and I want you to stay with me.” A smile spreads across his face and instead of answering; he leans in and kisses me.  As usual the past week, our kiss immediately becomes heated. He hesitantly pulls away and drops his head. “As bad as I don’t want you to go, we can’t keep the plane waiting.” I nod and get of the car. Marshall hands my bag off to someone and pulls me to him again.
My head is resting on his chest. I sigh, “This is going to be the longest week.” He laughs and adds, “Yeah, by Thursday I’ll be annoying the fuck out of Royce and Porter.”  He kisses me quickly and tells me to get on the plane.
After, I board I look out the window and see him leaned up against his car. I wave but I don’t think he sees me. He looks lost in thought and the look on his face makes me sad.  I don’t know how many more times I’m going to be able to leave him.  I watch him as long as I can before I can’t see him.
The entire plane ride home, I am consumed with all the thoughts of the past week. I’m sure the smile on my face is permanent.

A few days later

This workweek has flown by as it often does after the holidays. I swear I blinked and now its Thursday. I’ve talked to Marshall almost every day, although we haven’t been chatting as much as we normally do. He must be busy after the holidays too.
Later that night as usual, Marshall calls me. I immediately notice something is off, but he assures me he’s just had a long week. He cuts the call short and ends it by letting me know he can’t come to Tennessee this weekend. I tried to mask my disappointment and put on my cheeriest sounding voice, “That’s okay! I’ve been crazy busy this week too. Next weekend in Detroit it is.”

The next morning, I sent him a text wishing him a better day.
At work, I found out that I have to visit one of my clients Thursday and Friday of next week. Their office is in Saginaw, Michigan, which is about 2 hours north of Detroit. I’ll fly out next Wednesday afternoon so  I can be in the office first thing Thursday morning.   I normally dread business trips, but I’m excited about this one because it will end with me at Marshall’s house. 
I won’t really be able to see him until Friday because I’ll need to stay in a hotel close to my clients office but knowing he won’t be that far away is exciting. Even though I would be working a couple of hours away, I could only get a direct flight to Michigan if I flew into Detroit, which really worked out in this situation.

The weekend passed slowly. I barely talked to Marshall and each time I did he was acting cold and distant. I let him know about my business trip and all he said was, “Okay.” I was worried about Marshall. He hadn’t acted like this before and I didn’t know what to do. It felt like I was speaking to a stranger all of the sudden and I’ve not felt like that once with him.

Wednesday

I haven’t heard from Marshall since Sunday night. I’ve texted and called with no response. I’m doing my best not to jump to conclusions, but it’s getting harder and harder not to. Not knowing what’s going on, I went ahead and booked my return flight for Friday night. I could always change it to Sunday if needed.

I’m on my way to the airport now to catch my flight. I decided to send him a text containing the address of the hotel I am staying at and my arrival time to the Detroit airport.  I guess I just wanted him to know so he couldn’t say I didn’t tell him.
At this point, I knew he probably wouldn’t text back.

After the plane lands, I check my phone. Still nothing. This is becoming an obsession for me.  I schedule an Uber to take me to my hotel. I didn’t want to rent a car since I don’t know my way around too well so I decided to Uber everywhere I needed to go. During the car ride, I make sure my parents know I’m safe.  I then put my phone away to try to avoid checking it. It only takes 10 minutes before I pull it out to check it again.  We arrive to my hotel after a couple hours’ drive. I look over some things for the meetings with my clients the next day.  I decided to go to bed around 11. Still haven’t heard from Marshall.
I haven’t really slept since Sunday and to no surprise I tossed and turned all night with doubts flooding my mind.
He could easily cut me out of his life, never talk to me again, make himself inaccessible to me, and there would be nothing I could do to stop it. I really didn’t think he would do this to me.

I fall asleep at some point because I’m jolted awake by my alarm the next morning.  The first thing I do is check my phone and still nothing. Now, I’m just angry.  I really want to text him or call and yell at his voicemail, but I push those thoughts out in an effort to keep calm. There has to be an explanation for the silence, right? I still try to reason with the gut feeling that’s telling me whatever we had is over.

My Thursday meeting went well. We are getting ready to start a new project with this client and we had a very productive meeting to aid in getting the project off the ground.  I didn’t have time to do anything but work and before I knew it, I was on my way back to the hotel. I finally had a chance to check my phone and see that he still hasn’t responded. I reread every text I’ve sent since I seen him last. How can he go from sweet messages to nothing at all. What did I do? Maybe Olivia was right about him. I’m just one of the many and he’s moved on to the next now. 
  
I arrive back at my hotel, checking my phone every 2 minutes. I spend a couple of hours reviewing my notes from today’s meeting and preparing for tomorrow’s meeting. I ordered some pizza for dinner and watch some TV.  I’m just getting upset at Marshall’s coldness now. I know he has read every message I’ve sent. After a long internal debate, I decide to call him again. No answer. Frustrated and confused, I decide to try and go to sleep. Again, I toss and turn all night but unlike yesterday, I never go to sleep. I was wide awake when my alarm went off.

Today’s meeting went much like yesterday’s although I was sleep deprived and distracted.
I went back to the hotel and packed all my things. Still haven’t heard from Marshall and at this point I am so angry that even if he did call, I’ve decided I’m going home today.

I wanted to send something calling him a coward or asking what I did, but I refrained. I wanted to save the little bit of pride I had left, but I also need to say something final if only for myself. I must have typed 100 different messages before I landed on the one that I sent. It was simple, “Goodbye Marsh.” After I hit send, I turned my phone off. 

I cried the entire, long as fuck, trip back to Tennessee. He didn’t even have the balls to tell me what I did or what was going on. I really didn’t want to go home feeling the way I did, but the only other option was my parents’ house and I did not want them to know anything was wrong.

It was nearly 2 am by the time I was settled at home, and laying in the bed. I am beyond exhausted and angry.  I never turned my phone back on. Part of me wanted to know if he had texted or called me, but I could not handle the disappointment if he hadn’t.

I was staring at the ceiling when I heard what sounded like a car door. It was around 5 am at this point.  Too lazy to check it out, I reasoned that it was just a neighbor or something.
The next thing I know, my doorbell rings followed by persistent knocking. Thinking the worst has happened; I run to the door and pull it open without looking to see who it is. Marshall is standing in front of me looking panic stricken and distraught. His beautiful blue eyes are bloodshot. He reaches out for me, but I step back. He looks hurt at my movement and I’m sure shock is evident on my face. I’m torn between kissing him and slamming the door in his face.

I start to speak, but his broken voice cuts me off, “I really fucked up.”