Tennessee Rose

Part 40 - Marshall

Written by Lolalittlelegs

“I’m sorry, you said what to her now? Because it sounds like you gave the woman you claim to love an ultimatum over whether she stays with her family or chooses you” my brother is barely holding himself together over my stupidity.

“Yeah that’s about the truth of it” I sound like a dick, like the biggest dick in the planet even to my own ears now.
“You’re a fucking tool Marshall, I swear to god” he shakes his head and gets up walking out to my kitchen, I follow closely “I tried to call her last night but she didn’t answer.” Nate laughs bitterly with his head in my fridge looking for non healthy food “Why the hell would she answer you, jackass” why isn’t he on my side, where’s the loyalty?

“You told a woman that lost her husband and child and then thought she might lose her dad to “Pick me, Pick me’ you actually think that was gonna work?” I’m not overly impressed with the high pitched way he says ‘Pick me, pick me’ but I’m starting to realize I did bad, actually I realized the moment the words left my mouth, I hadn’t meant to then add to the situation by walking away from Rose at the hospital, rather I was so embarrassed about the way that I acted that I had to leave, had to put some space between us because I was pretty sure I’d blown it now.

“No I just lost it Nate, I’ve never regretted anything that’s come out of my mouth before but that I wish I could take it back a thousand times over, just say what I should have said and been a supportive boyfriend and not a complete jealous idiot” I tell him now seated at the dining table with my head in my hands.

“I can’t tell you how relieved I am to hear you say that Marshall, for a second there I thought you’d lost it completely’ he sits down eating some meat straight from the packet “You have to apologise, make this up to her. I’m telling you though it ain’t going to be easy because I bet she’s rightly furious with you”

I nod in agreement unsure of my next move, yesterday some of Rose’s things that we had shipped here had arrived, the trunks with Danny’s and Aiden’s things in, I worried that she might need something from one of them for comfort right now and I’d deprived her of that. My stupid impatience and anxiety getting the better of me. I needed to think big for this one.

Picking my phone up I looked on Google for a florist in Tennessee to send her some flowers by way of a small apology to start with. I also had Paul contact the hospital and take care of Dave’s medical bills and leave his phone number in case anything else came up. I didn’t tell Rose or anyone about that. I did it because I liked Dave and because if it meant Christine could have some time off with him and Rose then that would be a good thing, I hoped anyway.

Two weeks after I walked out of the hospital I had been texting Rose at least five times a day nothing heavy just saying I missed her and I was sorry and that I hoped her parents were doing ok, none of which she answered and my jet was waiting at the private terminal in Tennessee for her, I didn’t expect her to get on it and she didn’t.
For the first time in many years I cried myself to sleep that night hugging the pillow from her side of the bed. I felt just awful.

I felt groggy the next morning when I woke up to the sound of my phone ringing, Tristan’s name popped up on the screen and I answered it quickly fearing the worst that something bad had happened to one of them “Marshall?” he asks hesitantly after I don’t speak “Yes Tris, is everyone ok?” it makes me feel ill that something might have happened and I’m not there “yeah well we’re all alright apart from Rose, I’m leaving for college in a week or so but I can’t leave her while she’s so lost and down” sighing I reply quietly “I’ve been texting her but she never replies” I tail off quietly it sounds feeble to my own ears and I hear Tristan take a deep breath down the line “Marshall I should hate you by rights for what you said to my sister, but I can’t. You’ve grown on me like a bad fungus does” I smile at his analogy of our relationship, the kid has balls I’ll give him that.

“Help me Tristan I don’t know how to make this better and I want to so much” he agrees to help me and we start plotting together and for the first time in weeks I’m starting to feel more positive that I might be able to salvage our relationship.

I set about firstly unpacking the things she’d had sent here, there wasn’t much of a closet space for her so I had the bedroom behind mine made into one and door added to go from our room straight into it and put away the clothing she had sent because she didn’t need it for the time of year, the closet began to smell like her and I spent time in there reflecting on my behaviour and our relationship right from the start, I had to get a grip on myself before I could even think about getting her back.
Her memory box and trunk I put in the room she first had when she stayed the first few times, I wasn’t sure if she’d want to sit and go through them in our bedroom or if she’d prefer a more private space, I made it comfortable in there and made sure the sound system worked properly. If she wanted to move them when she finally got here then she could. I had no issues with them being in our room.

I learned from Tristan that their dad had been home for a couple of weeks and was moving about quite nicely it was their wedding anniversary and I’d sent them a gift of a weekend away in the log cabin that we’d used at Christmas, hoping that they would use it and spend some time together relaxing and recuperating , I figured it would also give Rose a much needed rest. I didn’t expect to hear from them it was just a gesture from me but the night they received it was the first time I’d heard from Rose In over a month “Thank you for the gift you gave my parents, They will be using it next weekend” I didn’t know whether to reply or not so I phoned Nate hoping he’d be able to help me out, I read him the message she’d sent “I don’t know Marshall , it’s kind of impersonal” he says the one thing repeating over and over in my mind, that she could have been sending that message to anyone it was so impersonal. “But she did send it to you after a month of silence so I think you should message her back, nothing to heavy though Marshall, keep it light bro” thanking him I hang up and retrieve her text “I hope they have a good time relaxing, How are you?” I don’t think that’s too much and press send quickly.

My phone vibrates a minute later with an answering message “I’m good thanks, how are you?” we could go on like this all night I supposed but she was speaking and I’d be forever grateful for that small fact.
“I’m missing you baby” I know Nate said not too heavy but I can’t help it I want her to know how much I miss her and follow the message with “I love you and I’m so sorry.” I wait for ages and its at least three hours before she replies saying “I know!” I don’t know what to take from that other than it took her hours to think about her reply.

Tristan calls later that night and I speak with Christine and Dave who thank me profusely for their weekend away, Rose is there and Tris asks her if she wants to speak to me, I don’t hear her reply but she doesn’t come to the phone to I take it that she didn’t want to, my heart sinks as Tristan passes me back to his dad “Son, what you said to my girl was wrong but she loves you to death and I know you feel the same, so I’m going to need you to fight for her… fight Marshall!” tears well in my eyes and I can’t reply as he hangs up the phone, I’m relieved he doesn’t hate me.

I text her anyway “I wish I could have spoken to you tonight, I love you” I send it and  message comes back as read. I see her typing icon appear a couple of times before she eventually stops and I give up waiting for her.

I really fucked this up good.

“Well it’s her birthday in 2 weeks time Marshall, maybe we should plan something for then?” I smile Tristan isn’t giving up on us either “I’ll be back from college for two days over her birthday, so I’ll help you and you know Mom and dad will help their favorite son in law” he makes me laugh, I love speaking to him, he’s my last remaining contact with Rose and I’m truly blessed that he can see through my mistakes and still make time for me and try and help me get back with Rose.

“OK so I’m thinking something with the family during the day and then if she agrees I’m whisking her away for a couple of days,  somewhere secret. What do you think?” I ask him almost shyly.

“I think it sounds amazing, keep me in the loop and we’ll pull it together Marshall”

Hanging up my phone vibrates and it’s a text from Rose “I do miss you too!” I just text her back “I love you” I wanna keep up this daily contact with her even if its only quick little messages, I want her mind to be on me still, so our plan works and I can see her and apologize to her for the rest of my days.
This has to work.