Tennessee Rose

Part 31 - Rose

Written by ehux02

Marshall grabbed the plate and moved it to the nightstand. I moved closer to him still facing him and he took my hands in his. I didn’t know how to answer his question. Yes, I’m on cloud 9 , but sometimes the guilt that I feel can ruin such a beautiful moment.

"Baby, please say something." I could see the desperation in his eyes. "Wait. Are you crying?" I reached up to touch my cheek. I hadn't even realized that I had teared up. "Yes, baby, I am great! Tonight was perfect." He pulled me into his lap. "But something has upset you. Rose, tell me. Please." I sighed and kissed his cheek. "Marsh, it isn’t you or what we did tonight." Relief washes over his face and I can tell that is what he needed to hear. "I still want to know what's bothering you baby girl."  I turned around in between his legs so I can lean my head back against his chest and he wraps his arms around me. "I'm overwhelmed with happiness. I'm crazy about you and I've wanted you.... in that way... for a while now," I look up at him and see confusion now cover his beautiful face, "it's no secret that I have a ton of baggage, Marsh, and part of it is the guilt that I feel whenever I find myself happy."  His grip on me tightens and he kisses the top of my head. I can’t believe I'm telling him this. I don’t want him to think I’m crazy or that I doubt us. He doesn't speak so I continue, "at first, long before our first date, the guilt was a feeling of betrayal. Now, it's more like a fear of forgetting." I can’t stop the tears from welling up and escaping my eyes now. "I want to be with you. I love you. I just don’t ever want to forget them and my subconscious bullies me with it at times." I look up at him and see his eyes glistening and he has a huge grin plastered on his face. Its then that I realized I said the L word out loud and not just in my head. He said it to me first just a little while ago and I had intended to reciprocate, but as usual, doubts filled my mind. Doubts such as, did he say it because of what we did? Did he say it because he thinks I wanted to hear it? Deep down I knew he didn’t, but to no surprise I chickened out then. Now there is no taking it back not that I would want to. It’s the truth. I do love him. So much.

"I have a couple things I want to talk about after hearing what you just said, but first I'm gonna kiss you." And he did. A kiss that rivaled the one he gave me after he told me he loved me. It was deep and full of passion. If we weren't in the middle of a discussion, I would let him take me again right now. He finally broke the kiss and whispered, "Remember that you just told me you love me, please." I nod my head. He hesitates for a moment and it makes me feel uneasy, "I don’t know how to ask this.” My mind is racing… “did you ever see a counselor after they passed?" I drop my head and take a deep breath.  He does think I'm crazy.  "Yes, I went to 2 sessions.  It was difficult because I live in a very small town and at that time, my life was the town news. I didn’t trust her so I quit."  He lightly laughed, "I ditched rehab the first time for a very similar reason." I laughed with him for a moment.  A similar reason? He's fucking Eminem, of course that would complicate therapy. He hesitantly continued, "Do you think you should give it another shot? You are at a different place now. It may be easier for you to open up. You can’t live life afraid to be happy. Go out of town to see someone if you have too. I'll find you someone..." I sat up and put my hand on his chest to quiet him. The concern he has for me is amazing. I'm feeling guilty over my late husband and my boyfriend isn’t angry or jealous. He is caring for me.  He's too perfect for me. I do not deserve this man.

"Marsh, I won’t just dismiss it, but not right now. I don’t want to be pushed back by bringing it all to the surface. Everything is good right now and I'm sorry if I ruined our moment with this."  He shakes his head, "Tonight was a big step for you. Tonight was perfect for me. I meant it when I said I love you, Rose. I love you so much it terrifies me. Aside from you walking out the door and never speaking to me again, nothing could ruin this night."  I can do nothing but grin like a fool as he pulls me up beside him laying with my back to his front. After a couple minutes of silence, he places a kiss on my neck, "You love me?" He sounds so unsure with that question.  I giggle, "Not only do I love you. I'm in love with you and I have been." He turns my head to him and gives me a light kiss on the lips. We lay in silence for a while and eventually I feel myself drifting off to sleep.

I wake up to an empty bed and the sun is bright. I check the time to see its nearly 1 in the afternoon. Damn, I sleep in forever when I’m here. I smile as the memories of the night before flood my mind. He is so patient with me and I don't deserve it. I know I'm going to have to seek help so I can completely move on, but for now I'm gonna focus on the next 2 days with my man. He is about to be gone for 3 weeks, I can focus on myself then.  Three weeks without him. The thought pulls at my heart. I’m so nervous to be without him. I am so used to our weekends together.

I climb out of bed to find Marshall when I notice the shower running. I'm feeling rather brave this morning and the thoughts of the night before run through my mind and straight to my core. I've not had sex in almost 2 years so I've got some time to make up for. I smirk at that thought and drop my clothes as I walk into the bathroom. I see Marshall in the shower. His back is to me so he hasn't seen me yet. How is he so perfect? He turns around right as I'm stepping into the shower. The water rolling down his chest makes my knees week. He smirks at me while pulling me to him, "Good morning beautiful." His words make me blush, "Why hello sexy... mind if I join you?" I don’t give him a chance to answer as I crush my lips to his pushing him back against the shower wall. I can feel his hardness against me as he returns the kiss just as eagerly. I reach between us to grab his erection and start to slowly stroke him. I pull my lips from his and move to place sloppy kisses along his jaw, down to his neck. I can feel his eyes on me as my kisses trail from his neck to his chest. His hands tangle into my hair as I drop to my knees to continue kissing down his stomach. My trail of kisses ends at the base of his member. His grip in my hair tightens as I kiss his tip before taking his pulsating cock into my mouth. I flicked my tongue over the tip and looked up at him to watch his eyes roll back. I used one hand to gently massage his balls and used the other to pump his shaft while I sucked around his tip. The moans and groans coming from Marshall were almost enough to push me over the edge.  In one motion, he pulled me to my feet and picked me up just under my ass. He turned and shoved me against the shower wall as I wrapped my legs around his waist. He pushed his cock into me forcefully causing me to moan sharply. “Marsh, baby..”  He cut me off shoving his tongue into my mouth. He pulled away from me and whispered, “So wet for me..”  I moaned out his name loudly as he started to thrust harder and harder. He was continuously hitting my spot, driving me crazy and bringing me so close.  Judging by the groans coming from his throat so was he. "Cum for me baby girl." As if on command, an orgasm ripped through me. With a couple sloppy, hard thrusts, he came too. He held me in place, my legs still around his waist, and put his forehead against mine, the shower water rushed over both of us, as we came down from our high.

He whispered his voice sounding almost as if he was in pain, "I love you so fuckin' much….. Don’t leave me." My heart filled with warmth as I heard myself say, "Never. I love you too much."