🌹FROM
https://archiveofourown.org/users/resurrectdead/pseuds/resurrectdead
Punkphil x Pasteldan
High school au
Warnings:
Cross dressing, dirty talk, ass eating
Words: 24946
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Part1: use your hands and my spare time
"Who in here does a guy have to suck off to get some decent makeup done?!"
And other sentences Dan Howell thought he'd never speak.
It's one week until their premiere of Moulin Rouge, one week until their wardrobe needs to be fixed and their stage makeup fleeked, and Dan of course is months behind with all of this. He was crazy for it to start with, having taken part of the writing ever since the moment it came into conversation to set it up as a play at their school, sure he knew just about every single line from the movie by heart as he'd been watching it pretty much non-stop since he was around ten years old. But now? Now he's been so consumed by making others do their shit correctly, he's completely forgotten that he, of course, will play Satine the courtesan, the main female role and he, of course, needs some bombass makeup to go with it.
Because, honestly? Fuck gender roles. But also, honestly? He wants to at least get some good lipstick on.
Louise pulls a face like she's simultaneously embarrassed and amused, and Dan's left standing with his arms thrown out by his sides, hysterical.
"Maybe keep your voice down, chummy?" she suggests in a hushed voice. "Can I remind you you're not actually a courtesan?"
Dan stares her down for a second, then shifts his gaze to PJ. PJ is a logical being, PJ should help. But PJ just holds his hands up in defence and makes a face like don't-look-at-me(-I'm-dumb, Dan adds mentally in a stupid voice), so that Dan is rendered helpless, just has to throw his head back and groan desperately.
He can tell this is when Louise and PJ exchange looks, try to figure out what to do as Dan stands there, waiting, eyes fixed at the ceiling and nearly holding his breath in protest too. Then comes Louise's reassuring hand on his shoulder, then comes PJ's "there, there". Dan has good friends. Dan needs to stop throwing diva tantrums.
"Have you asked Phil?" Louise asks him then, and Dan lolls his head towards her instead, brow furrowed.
"Phil...?"
"Lester," PJ fills in, and Dan turns to him. "We take art. He's great, really nice guy and super creative. I'm sure he'd be good at makeup, too."
Dan turns his head between Louise and PJ on either side of him. He's never heard of the name, but he's sure he'd know him if he saw him. He must only be a year older if he's in PJ's class and besides, if he's not any good, he can just find someone better. Dan is a people person and if not, he knows his ways around it.
He feels like the auditorium has gone too quiet, eochy and boring, so he stomps his feet around like a grumpy toddler. "But you're all of those things!" he whines to PJ, just to not let him win. "Why can't you do it?"
"Because I hate you," PJ deadpans, and Dan punches his shoulder to coax a fond smile out of him instead, and Louise hugs his side tightly.
Finding Phil Lester isn't difficult. You always know where to find the art nerds. There is a system.
The only art nerd to really break this system is PJ, because while he does take art, Dan takes drama and Louise takes textiles, so the only logical place for him, and really all three of them, to be for around eighty percent of his awake time combined with school time would be outside of the art rooms and away from the art table at lunch to sit in the programme-neutral zones instead. Dan always liked the ones who broke the system.
