We've got a bit of Love Hate

Chapter 23.

I'm sick..

But on the bright side I have new shoes..

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I brought the sharp blade against the smooth skin of my lower arm. I grazed my wrist with the blade and took a sharp intake of breath- It stung really badly, but I kept pushing it deeper into my into my skin, slicing through it effortlessly. I stopped.

'Thats enough' I cant ever do that again, no matter if it did make the emotional pain stop, I'm not gaining anything from it.

I looked down to see the tiny droplets of blood that have started to roll slowly down the inside of the ceramic sink before letting the water flow over my self-inflicted wound. I gasped at the pain before wrapping a towel around it. I watched in silence as my crimson blood stained the white towel.

I still had the towel wrapped around my wrist when a knock on the bathroom door made me jump.

"Who is it?" I asked, rather bluntly.

"It's Harry.."

"Oh great." I groaned quietly. I my eyes darted around the bathroom, looking for something but not knowing what. My eyes landed on a can of deodorant that was sitting on one of the shelves above the sink. Bingo.

A smirk grew across my face. "Just a minute Haz!" I sang out cheerily. I reached over and grabbed the fist-sized can, and to my luck, it was full.

I opened the bathroom door to see a grinning Harry. He was pleased to see that I had opened the door. He looked down to my hand and a look of confusion and horror spread over his face. I followed his gaze to see that I hadn't removed the blood stained towel from around my wrist. Oopsie..

"Screw you Harry." I said, and following my previous plan, raised the can of deodorant to Harrys face and sprayed it directly into his eyes. I smirked to myself when Harry doubled over clutching his stinging eyes, a stream of curse words leaving his mouth as he tried to comprehend the pain. I leaned over to whisper in his ear.

"You talk to your mother with that mouth? Cause I know for a fact you use it to make out with Suzie." I whispered smugly. Wow, I sound like a Class A bitch right now. Its not like I have some kind of insatiable desire to cause pain to myself or others, it's just I didn't want to be the victim this once.

I threw the towel that had been around my wrist into the laundry hamper behind me before pulling down my sleeves and strutting out of the room and back to Liams. Once I reached Liams room I collapsed on his bed and started to laugh. Creepy right? Its actually a common occurrence for me.. Some kind of mental breakdown I guess.

Nothing was funny. I actually think what I did was quite horrible really. I just laughed at how cruel the situation I'm in is. I just cut myself after catching my best friends making out. Pathetic.

I tought I was stronger than this.

I just sat there.. Laying in Liams bed, staring aimlessly at the ceiling while laughing to myself when it suddenly dawned on me.

I'm in Cheshire.

My freaking "parents" llive in Cheshire.

I HAVE A GODDAMN HOUSE IN CHESHIRE!

WHAT THE HELL AM I STILL DOING IN HARRY'S HOUSE WHEN I COULD JUST BE IN MY OWN? Lord I can be so simple sometimes.

I'm sure my "parents" would let me stay with them for a while.. They did adopt me after all. They should know that adoptions have consequences, a child for example.

Eugh, I'll have to go back into my room again to get my things.. All this jumping between rooms was giving me motion sickness. I sighed deeply, (I may deflate soon from all my sighing) and ran back to my room. Its a good thing I didn't have time to unpack or I would be in my room forever looking for all my stuff. Just as I expected, my black suitcase was laying under the bed, where I had left it.

I was just reaching over to grab my suitcase when I heard a noise coming from the bathroom. Harry must still be in there washing his eyes. Shit. I didn't have time to escape before I heard the bathroom door creak open, revealing Harry.

"Don't hurt me!" He says, raising his hands up as a sign of mock surrender.

"That depends on if you're going to hurt me." I muttered quietly to myself before grabbing my suitcase up off the ground and walked around him. Until he grabbed my wrist that is. I winced in pain as his tight grip wrapped around my raw wounds. It took him a few second to realize that he was hurting me. He loosened his grip slowly and rolled up my sleeve slightly. I looked away in shame as he scrutinized my swollen, sliced wrist.

"Why?" He said, cutting through -wait, bad choice of words- breaking the uncomfortable silence.

"Why do you care?" I snapped back, rushing out of the room. I ran as quickly as I could down the hallway, not looking behind me to see if Harry had attempted to follow. I slowed down slightly while passing the living room door where the rest of the boys were. As expected, there was a lot of noise and shouting, I couldn't hear much through the door but I'm sure Liam was saying something along the lines of "Emilie owes me big time." Which I won't deny, made me smile a little. But that smile quickly faded once I realized that I didn't even have time to say a proper goodbye.

"Ugh, I don't have time to think." I said to myself before running out the front door and slamming it loudly behind me, which I have to say wasn't my brightest idea. Well at least I made it outside, but now what..

Where did that tree come from..

Why does everything look different.. Oh no..

Please tell me that I havn't forgotten where I lived.. Oh Cuntnuggets.

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And one more thing;

I obviously do not approve of self-harm in the slightest, and would advise you now that if you do self-harm to stop. Now. Before it becomes too much to handle. I'm always here if you need to talk or tweet/DM me on twittah; iBangStyles .

I would love to talk to y'all, so thank you, buh-byee. (: