Eaten by regrets

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Harry P.O.V
I don't have words to describe what i felt at that  moment,but now in my car i am furious, nails digging in my palm ,my knuckles white on steering wheel tears stinging my eyes   . I feel a flash of intense anger.  I feel as though something has been taken away from me.  How could she? How dod Harmony dare to do this? I mean what is wrong with her. Look at the life we all have. Look at how beautiful it is now. I have never understood how people blithely disregard the damage they do by following their  hearts . Who the hell said that following your heart is good thing? Its pure egotism and selfishness to conquer everything. 
Hatred for Harmony floods me. Louis is constantly  speaking sitting beside  me but i haven't heard  a word ge said. I can't. I don't  want to.
We reached  our hotel  and i banged the door kicking  the chair in my  way.
"Mate  they  are worried about us please let me answer the call"lou pleaded
"Shut up"
God what's wrong  with me.   i wanted to see them  i dreamt about  meeting them twice or thrice but when i was infront of them  the way i reacted was marvellous . Now I'm  snapping my best mate. 
I think about all the arguments I had with Harmony all terrible and pathetic things i said to her ,telling her that i never wanted to see her again.  I feel overpowered by hatred for myself.  I was standing amid the air of guilt.  I was inhaling  regrets.   They wete eating me alive. I found my world ripped  apart.

I needed to cool down get things straight in my head

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I needed to cool down get things straight in my head.  I was debating whether to call them  back or not. 
I sat in a dark room for 3 hours trying to figure out what should be done.  I know  holding  a grudge is just another  burden.
"At last you came out" lou relaxed when he heard the door knob ticking
"Quick  we need to go back to  her" I hurriedly opened the door
"What mate think  again...you said so much there...Ethan is sure to break our bones now"
"I'm ready for that  also...i deserve  that after speaking such bullshit"

Lou drove the  car in silence.  "Are u  sure?"
"Damn sure"
"It's not an compulsion mate we can met Ethan and Harmony  separately  afterwards"
"No i wanna  met liam and niall too?" It sounded more like a question to myself.  I wasn't even sure about what i was speaking
He looked at me with horror installed in his face.
"Don't  you?"i asked
"I do  i really miss them"
"Whats the issue  then ...drive faster mate"
 
After a long journey  we reached her place. I prayed for the  best. As  we entered  i was welcomed by  a nice  punch on my face  straight into  my eyes.
"Did you forget to  speak  something  bitter that u are here again?...please go inside kill her  for her mistake ....already you have broken  her enough  emotionally" my eyes got  wet.

already you have broken  her enough  emotionally" my eyes got  wet

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I hung my head down in shame and didn't say a word.  Louis held me tight.
"Ppp......lease  E..than"
I raised my eyes and could not  believe what they showed me.  She looked like an old photograph dusted from an album  after  years.   The pink from  her lips , red from  cheeks ,blue from eyes had faded. She  didn't  look alive. Her eyes red and swollen due to infinite shedding of tears. I know we get wrapped  up in our heads, we miss out on what is available to us right at that moment.  And i for sure did that  foolishness.

Then my green  irises catch her blue  ones which turned  pale when she saw me standing in front of her.
For a moment neither of us moved . I could hardly bear  looking at her. But when i did she doesn't  recoil from me.  She didn't say a word.  I put my arm  around her shoulders and pull her into me, her face against my chest . She breathed me in i could  feel her breath hit my skin.  For sure she could  feel my heart thumping.  I waited to feel diffrent and lighter, to feel better  or worse.  I felt relieved cause i know her reaction when she puts  her  fragile  arms round my waist.  I know  i had  done right.  She isn't  angry with me anymore.  She doesn't think  I'm a monster.  She is safe with me know.
I try to persuade myself that  I did the right thing morally and professionally . It then strickes me that  i was being  an  idiot . I hug her for longer than ever and then pull away softly.  Then i raise her chin up with my finger to meet her eyes . "I'm so sorry  princess...i don't  have any  words to express the guilt  I'm going  through  now"
I bend down on my knees in front of her.  She comes closer and hugs me again.  "I'm also  sorry  for such a stupid  idea"
"No it was great" i gave her a reassuring smile and pecked her cheeks .  Then she hugged  lou and Etan joined i too ran and jumped on Ethan. I know  Harmony has an amazing capacity to turn  sadness and hatred ,anger to love  hope
and happiness in no time. Then liam came running  and clinged with lou .

Till that time i greeted  niall and then we four had a memorable  group  hug

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Till that time i greeted  niall and then we four had a memorable  group  hug.  Harmony and Ethan  were clicking our pics.

  I swear  its our  best chirstmas so far

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  I swear  its our  best chirstmas so far.  First we all decided to give gifts to our guardian  angel. We even gave ger chirstmas bumps at sharp  12 and cut the cake.
Then Harmony  brought a huge canvas.  It had a mind blowing  painting of four  of us hugging  after our concert.
She deserves much better  gifts so all five of us planned  something  exciting for her.

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