effortlessly // k.s.j fanfic (on going)

25: Unfortunately

Cassidy's POV

    After gathering all of my active muscles and all of the guts to face reality again, my eyes have managed to open little by little. It took quite a while for my visions to adjust with surroundings since everything was so blurry and I couldn't pinpoint who's who nor which ones which.

    "Cassidy," said by a very familiar but also weary voice—similar like the last voice I heard. Yes, the voice that made me want to wake up immediately, the voice that made me want to deal with the bitch also known as reality again, the voice that made me feel things I didn't know I could feel.

    I was trying my best to fix my blurry visions by crashing my eyelids a couple of times regardless if it was hard as hell. No matter how many times I've adjusted my vision, I still wasn't sure who it was until I've let myself to just close my eyes for a solid second.

    "Cassie?" this time, the voice ended with a cliffhanging tone and the voice still triggers me to open up my eyes.

    Little by little, I was starting to recognize my surroundings. The person who stood beside the bed was tall—tall enough to block the light from me. His face wasn't clear enough but I knew it was him, the boy with broad shoulders, slightly messy black hair with a little touch of dark brown in it, just the perfect posture of a dancer.

    "Cassie?" the voice lit up this time but it was unfortunately different than before. I was almost about to say his name regardless if it needs a lot of effort to do so, until I blinked. After I blinked, everything was different.

    "Oh my god, you're awake," said Sean almost inaudible as he hugged me awkwardly. He managed to grab my lifeless body and hugged me until my body was about to crash all together.

    "Sean?" I asked, whispering.

    "Yes, Cassie, yes. Oh my god, you have no idea how worried I am," he exclaimed. I had no idea how to respond to that and besides, there was a slight thump in my heart. I felt somehow uncomfortable at that moment. I started to scan the room, carefully left to right. The room was tranquil enough since it was just my family.

    I could see my parents by the window looking relieved. I could see my father was hugging my mother, caressing her hair, trying to calm her down as I saw my mother sobbing inaudibly in my father's arms. I sighed, unsure if it was a relieved sigh, a disappointed sigh, or an exhausted one.

    "So you heard me calling your name a thousand times?" Sean asked as he took a sit on the chair beside the bed.

    So Sean was the person who had been calling my name. "I think so," was what I answered. My answer was uncertain because I was uncertain if what I heard was either Sean or someone else. I was very sure before that it was someone else. I know Sean's voice very well and I know someone else's voice too. It was so confusing because even though my visions were still a bit blurry, I could still tell that it was someone else—by the posture, by the specific calming voice, I just knew that it was him. But unfortunately, it wasn't that oh-so-special someone else.

    But above everything, I was super thankful that I always have my family right beside me no matter how hard things get. Sean's hazel brown eyes looked directly at mines. I could tell that he was extremely tired from his weary somehow droopy eyes, as if he hasn't slept in forever. I feel worried about him somehow but I know that he—we're alright and that's all that matters.

    He stood up and did the most unexpected thing my big brother would do. He kissed me on my forehead and it felt like he really loved me by that. He gave me a gentle squeeze on my hand and left me with a smile that somehow says "you'll be okay".

    One thing I just noticed about Sean is that he rarely says that he loves me, almost never and neither do I. We just knew by the way we treat each other or even from the little things we do to each other but those little things meant the world.

    My parents walked through my way with the warmest smile I've ever seen. "Hi sweetheart, how are you feeling?" asked my mom as he sat next to me and she took my hand.

    "Better, I guess," still going strong with the uncertain answers because I'm still uncertain with what I was currently feeling as well.

    "Are you sure about that?" asked my dad. I looked at him confused, not knowing what he meant by that. "I mean if you're just saying that to make us feel relieved, you could always say the truth regardless if you feel like...you know... what do kids nowadays say? Oh, regardless if you feel like shit."

    I laughed weakly and responded, "Thanks dad but really, I'm feeling better."

    "We're so glad you're okay, Cassie," my mom said as tears starting to fill her eyes and she squeezed my hand.

    "Thank you, guys," as I squeezed her back giving the best smile I could possibly give.

    Before my dad left he gave a gentle pat on my mom's shoulder, looked at me and said, "You'll be okay," just like Sean.

    So it's all just me and my mom, face to face. "So," taking a deep breath, my mom pulled her chair closer to the bed, "What was the last thing you remembered?"

    I didn't answer her directly because I was trying to collect all of the memories. "Well I'm not pretending that this was in a movie or something so I'm not saying that I don't know what just happened, but yeah, I remembered that I was in a car, on the way to buy something I guess, I don't really know what it was. But then something hit me."

    My mom stayed quiet, a bit unsure to ask but she did it anyway, "Do you remember who you were with?"

    "Yeah, I did. It was—,"

Oh shoot.

    "It was Kenny," and then it hit me.

    "So you remembered clearly, ya."

    At that point, things got worse. At first I was disappointed that he wasn't the one calling me back to my conscious life or that he wasn't even there. But now, I just realized that he was the one driving that day, which means that something must've also happened to him and it could be worse. It could be the reason that he's unable to be present at that moment when I woke up. It could be the reason that he wasn't the one calling my name repetitively.

    Questions were starting to race in my head like it was the Olympics. I never knew that 'what if' could be such a powerful combo and that dynamic duo was starting to kill me. I couldn't even say it with actual words what I was thinking since it was just a giant tangled spider web that I have somehow weaved unconsciously in my head. The possibilities were just horrifying and it haunts me to death.

    "Is he—," I gulped, "Is he okay?" I asked, afraid I might not get the answer that I want.

    My mom gave me that bittersweet smile of hers. It was painful to see how ambiguous that smile is and that it could mean a thousand meaning, both relieving and devastating. "That's not the perfect question that you should be asking right now, Cassie."

    "What do you mean?"

    "Don't you wanna focus on yourself first? Aren't you even concerned?"

    "I'm okay. God, I promise I'm okay, I'm not even feeling the littlest paint right now. I swear," I answered, aggressively demanding.

    My mother let out a big sigh and continued, "Do you have any idea why you don't feel any pain right now?" I stopped and didn't even bother to answer. "I mean are you even joking right now, Cassie?" she looked worried. "You really don't notice huh?"

    "Mom, what do you mean?"

    "Look at your leg, Cassie," said my mom as she pushed her hair back in frustration.

Holy crap?
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A/N
hey guys! done with school but i need to focus on college application and stuff so i'm not really free but at least some weights have been lifted off of my shoulders. ANWAYS it's Kenny's 17th birthday todayyyy! but yeah, this story couldn't get worse but i won't stop because this will be the first ever story that i will get it done and i will update again someday real soon so yeah! don't forget to hit that vote and comment peepsss love youu❤️❤️❤️❤️