Chapter 41

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26th April 2019
Yes, I am still alive. Not for much longer though as it has almost reached the deadly month of May, also known as exam month. So, for the next couple of weeks, I will not be updating.

Also, thank you so much for allowing me to reach 6k. Considering we just reached 5K a month ago, we're making steady progress. Also, Cabilo, I appreciate the follow!

POV: Kayoko

My hands shake, even as I curl them up into fists. I punch one of them up in victory, and the crowd seems to scream. Eyes flickering to every sharp movement, I wait for them to call me out. 

Liar. Murder. Queen. 

It's all in my head; the audience opens their mouths wide, tooth-full smiles, showing a love of violence so terrifying, I feel an urge to step back. I catch my breath and steel my heart, straighten my shoulders and tilt my chin up.

I have Kira, the girl who leaps into action burning for revenge from those who have wronged her. I have Kayoko, the girl who was too young to see the danger, and loved until it killed her. Now, I mask myself in another name; Kuro, the girl who cools her heart with ice in order to save herself from a fire of red.

"I share the name of a monster who does not know how to use her claws." I bare my teeth at the audience and rather than taking a step back, I push myself forwards. "Let it be known that mine are fully sharpened!"

Arms swinging in an invitation, I take another step to the apex of the stage until I can see the faces of killers. "I intend to be her rival; in name, in level, in skill. So, when we bleed those clearers dry, we can tell them we are here," 

This time, when I raise my fist, the crowd follows, "And we are not cowards!"

The chant repeats, emphasized with a fist each time. I watch the wave of arms come up and down, a smile coming to my face, one I wish I had a harder time faking. If I had known it would be this easy to manipulate a crowd, maybe I would have become a leader sooner. 

Had the crown placed on my head sooner. 

As if wanting to run away from the truth, I turn on my heel, walking towards the steps that connect the two worlds of stage and audience. With his white hair, it's easy to spot Shi, now, within the crowd, two or three rows back. 

I try to keep my eyes fixed ahead, but it's hard not to look at the absolute devastation in his eyes, at the hands clutched at straps of armour just to make it easier to draw a breath. And his hands... they're shaking. 

Just like mine moment ago, they twitch, as if in doubt of which side to stand on. But the fear in his eyes, in his whole form, makes my face scrunch. I try to keep walking, but it's hard not to notice how afraid he is as his gaze meets my own. 

Maybe I should start to fear me too. 

************

The step I take doesn't seem real, but the heel of my boots connect with the flooring all the same. I see more than feel the hands clasping my shoulders in support, fingers trailing over the ripped ends of my cape, awed stares as I pass by each person. 

The more I try to smile reassuringly as I have seen Asuna do many times, the more the action doesn't fit between my cheeks and lips. After a few more seconds of lingering, I move again to tuck myself into my corner of nonexistence, where the shadow from the balcony chips away at my once victory filled self. 

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