Chapter 47

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POV: Kayoko

As I walk back towards the horse, my hand reaches to grace the hilt of my sword. There is no hilt by my side; my hand graces only the hollow case that is my sheathe. I know it's a waste of the time that Tori had gifted us to hesitate, but I turn back anyways. 

If there was anything I would want to avoid being in Kataylsis, it would be unarmed and unprotected. My hand fits perfectly into the hilt of the weapon just as it perfectly slides into the curve of my hip. It strikes me just how much I have rebuilt myself around one weapon, how I have built myself to be just like my name dictates. 

It may not have been to take many lives, but it was still to take one nonetheless. 

"I knew you weren't going to do it," Shi says as I straighten. His mouth curves upwards as though he knows me, as though he understands. It's a taunt, I realise, to see who will break under their own curiosity first. 

Though ignoring him should have been the right answer, I want to understand what I'm doing wrong in my act. I set my jaw, my glance straying towards the horses. "Why?"

He puts his hands in his pockets as if he can find the satisfaction pooling in there. Shi follows my eye line towards the horses and raises his eyebrows. When he replies, he returns his gaze towards me and says simply. "Because it's not in your nature."

I roll my eyes and start towards the horses, pulling at the saddle to check before I slide my foot in one of the sturps. I don't see Shi follow me, but I feel the dust he kicks up bite at my ankles as he comes to stand behind my horse. 

"You weren't built for this," He says again. The tone of his voice commands me to pause and look over the shoulders of the horse, towards his face. His eyes are surprisingly clear and honest though this sets me off the wrong way. 

I grip the reigns harder, putting more of my weight on the stirrup and transferring it into the swing of my leg over the horse. Though Shi physically takes a step back, his voice doesn't back down an inch. "You were meant to save and not slaughter."

I lean down to pet my horse to avoid the lure of his words. It seems like an excuse to back down now, and to do that after a year and a half of suffering would be even worse than letting this game release in the first place. My stomach lurches as I urge the horse forward. 

I hear the rattle of reigns and the thundering of hooves until the passage widens to allow two horses. I yank one side to steer my horse into the centre and prevent Shi from ridding beside me, but he pulls his own horse right beside mine before I can block his way. 

I scowl at him, but he just looks at me. His eyes demand an answer. "Because you were build to slaughter," I spit, "does that give you the right to criticize me?" 

He blinks, turning his gaze ahead. He says it so infuriatingly slowly that I want to pry open his mouth to dig out the words myself. "I don't think anyone has the nature to kill." 

I hold back a laugh in the back of my throat and as though he hears it, Shi snaps his head towards me. His words, however, are soft, so at odds with the sharpness of his eyes and the glinting edge of his piercing. "It's usually an event that sets people up and draws them to killing."

The only thing that moves between us are the horses. Shi breaks the illusion, turning the piercing in his ear. I assume he's given up talking to me, and I coax my horse into a faster pace as to not be stuck beside him again. Being together leaves us with fewer options for escape when needed. 

The opening up of the path ahead leaves me the perfect opportunity. My horse bolts to the side as I instruct it,  but the action leaves a section free for Shi's horse to block my own.

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