I'll Be Right Here | ✔

9 | im not ready

Aaliyah

YESTERDAY WAS HECTIC. And I don't want go to in full detail about everything because I know that as soon as I say something, I'll start off going on a tangent about a whole another thing. Which, believe me, is the last thing I want to do. But if you really want to know, you should know that I was basically sleep deprived and slept for possibly the entire evening.

That is until I woke up to the sound of someone crying at 8 PM.

Rachel had come home a couple hours ago, so by knowing that, I immediately sprang up and followed the crying, only to find Rachel in the Master bedroom. Her face was covered by her hands, but I could already tell she just had a huge breakdown based on the countless number of tissues spread across the bed. Part of me wanted to reach out to her and comfort her, and the other part of me wanted no part in this situation. I should've gone for the first option, but instead, I just stood there watching her cry even more while talking on the phone.

"Martha," I heard her start, through sniffles. "Do you really think he's worth it?"

Martha; Rachel's sister: Cathy's favorite aunt.

In total, Rachel has 4 sisters (one of them being Martha). I always prefer Charlotte, who's the youngest of the Nelson sisters, since she herself is adopted just like me. But I never understand why Cathy prefers Martha out of all the Nelson sisters. I view Martha as an evil person; maybe it's because of the fact that she shaved her eyebrows off when she was eleven and looks like an evil cartoon villain now. Truthfully, her eyebrows don't bother me that much. Although they used to back when I first met her. Rachel had never given me the heads up on account of the first time meeting her, which therefore, made me faint as soon as I made eye contact with her. I admit I did feel a little guilty afterwards, but it's not like I could undo that moment. Actually now that I think of it, I'm pretty sure Martha hates me too.

Anyways, I didn't get to hear the rest of the conversation because I accidentally stepped on the creaky board which sent Rachel anxious and turned off her call. I had to go all the way downstairs just to not get caught, and believe me, it's very hard running when your on the verge of getting caught! Rachel didn't give a peep at me until the very next day when I woke up.

To be honest, I wasn't even expecting to sleep through the whole night, since I'd already spent the evening sleeping. But, surprisingly, my eyes immediately closed as soon as I hit the bed. Maybe it was because my brain had so much to handle with yesterday. Especially including that boy... do I even know his name? My mind floods with memories of him addressing his name, but I can't seem to recall his name. God, are you really that stupid? I scold myself. You had a whole lengthy conversation with him and you forgot to ask for his name!

I bend my head down in shame. "Whatever," I grunt after a moment. "I have better things to do anyways." Like what? my brain challenges. "L-like," my brain stutters, "for school!" Oh shit! I check my watch, only to find the time from what I've last checked has increased by thirty minutes. So, for the past thirty minutes I have been laying on my bed contemplating my life?! Interesting choice, I think to myself before getting up.

I first head to the bathroom to prepare myself for school. I'm not usually late for school, since I have a pre-planned schedule for everything I do, so I'm not prepared to getting ready in only twenty five minutes! Usually in my schedule, I tend to spend more time in the bathroom than anywhere else. It's not like I spend the entire time doing makeup or anything like that in the bathroom, I just prefer taking my time with doing stuff (which I don't see is a problem when I have my whole time set out).

Unlike today.

Since I'm in a sticky spot, I quickly prepare a schedule in my head and demand myself to stick it. But because my brain is everywhere, I'm not able to focus on the schedule. Instead, I just sit there on the toilet, contemplating my life. Why should I even be going to school? I think to myself. I mean, how is school useful? I snicker, recalling the TikTok that revolved around the idea of how school is useless. I can relate to every single one.