I'll Be Right Here | ✔

13 | what was i thinking?

Aaliyah

THE WHOLE TWO periods of class before lunch, all I can think is about what that girl said. Her electrifying green eyes haunt me as I think of her again for what seems like the millionth time. Does she really mean what she said? About her and Derek dating? Because I'm sure as hell certain that they aren't dating, because then, Derek would've told me... right? What are you lovesick? No, I retort with a huff. Why would you think that? It seems like you are, my brain responds. Well, I'm not.

I firmly press my lips together, and head out of the band room for lunch.

The band teacher, Mr. Bach, has a tendency on leaving us [the band class] out late for lunch, but I guess he's finally learning (from his mistakes). Last class, Andrea Miller, threw up all over her spot since Mr. Bach didn't let us out for lunch on time. Apparently she suffers from a delinquent food urgency (meaning she has to have food at a proper time). She was sent to the nurse's office (immediately) and hasn't showed up to school ever since. I feel bad for the custodians though, because from what I heard it took at most three hours for them to clean the vomit (especially since it's on carpet!). Although if you look at her spot very closely, you can still see bits of green and red splotches.

It usually takes a while to get lunch, since, like any other High School, lunch is combined with the whole grade. Which, in my opinion, is seriously hectic! But I guess the school makes up for it by having more space for people to sit and eat at. For example, the Commons (the cafeteria & lounge area), is a place entirely for only Juniors and Seniors to eat in (although I do see a wealthy amount of Sophomores there too). But, since I was connected with Cathy, I was able to slide in and sit with her and clique last year as a freshman. Cathy had ― and still has, a lot of friends in High School. So many friends that sometimes she'd move me someplace else during lunch; a place where only her and I could hang. We didn't do that quite often though, because usually one of her friends would pull her out and somehow convince her to hang with them instead.

It made me feel like she loved her friends more than me, which took a while to get used to. The feeling of loneliness really took over me because in the middle of Cathy's Senior year, we started separating. Something went on in Cathy's friendship with one of her closest friends and she isolated herself from everyone in the family; including me.

Which hurt a whole lot.

I started finding myself sitting alone in the band hallway, my back against the wall, scrolling through Instagram endlessly (during lunch). And finding pictures of Cathy having good times with her other friends. I bet most of them were fake friends anyways. I remember almost crying over one of them because the last time we ever had a time like that together was when we both went to the park nearby our place and ended up getting sand in our pants, and laughing about it.

That was three years ago.

"Um excuse me, honey?" an oddly sweet voice remarks.

"Yeah," I look up to meet an elderly blonde haired lady.

"Your holding up the line," I look to my left to spot a line full of students, sending me looks. My cheeks flush, as I quickly type in my pin code before exiting the cafeteria.

"Sorry," I murmur to the lady.

My eyes examine the lengthy crowd of people and I gulp, as I ponder about sitting with Derek and his friends for lunch. I search for a brown haired boy and give up. You can just tell him that you couldn't find him, right? That's not even a lie; that's the truth! my brain helplessly convinces me. Yeah, but... a small part of me actually wanted to sit with him during lunch today. I scan the crowd one last time before returning to leave the Commons.