I'll Be Right Here | ✔

19 | gosh

Aaliyah

IT WASN'T UNTIL I got to my room, I noticed that it had been so quite.

I had been so invested in the sprain in my ankle, that I hadn't noticed how eerie it was.

How silent and pitiful it sounded.

"Rachel," my voice echoes back. I limp through the hallway in search of Rachel or Tom.

It's not entirely my fault the way I got the sprain.

I was just doing some warm ups with the track team, when Coach pulled me asked if everything was okay. I simply nodded my head, trying my best to avoid contact with my gym bag that had the pills that Lexi gave me earlier today.

It was like the only thing I could think about during track.

And then, he announced how today was the first day of running with a partner and that I should get paired up with my partner. I headed over to Avery, when he stopped me, and told me that Derek was my partner.

That asshole was my partner?!

And then I recalled yesterday when Coach told me that. I was so close to having a fit and running off the football field, but I remained calm and forced myself to stay put. It was around that time the Devil himself decided to show up. He seemed so chill and casual, like he wasn't hiding any secrets from me or didn't do anything wrong.

If only he knew what Lexi had told me, or even had the decency to at least tell me.

We had met up later in the day, Lexi and I.

I bumped into her during lunch and then asked her the question I was meaning to say: were Derek and Olivia ever a couple? She shook her head for a minute, before recalling something, and nodding her head. She mentioned something about Olivia always holding his hands tightly during her sophomore year. And seeing her and Derek attending parties together; as a couple.

I almost had a feeling of bursting out in tears, for some reason.

A person, who I thought actually loved me, was using me as a magnet to get his girlfriend back?

How embarrassing is that?

Lexi immediately made me swear to never cross paths with Derek, or never even talk to him.

Which is why I immediately separated pathways when Derek and I started running on the trail.

"Aaliyah," I could hear his voice, but I shrugged it off. "Aaliyah, wait." By then his voice was as light as the wind.

Unfortunately, I didn't watch where I was heading, as my mind was wrapped around Derek and Olivia, and tripped over a branch. There was blood gushing all over my leg. And then, I heard his voice again.

God, does he ever go away?

I immediately got up and started running, kicking a rock in the midst and twisting my ankle.

Fortunately, I was able to make it back to the field, without anymore physical damages and was able to leave track early with Coach's consent.

"Aaliyah," a raspy voice calls out.

I get up. "Rachel?"

"Aaliyah, is that you?" I find Rachel slumped against the wall in her closet.

Her mascara is all runny, and there's heaps of tissues surrounding her,

This is not the Rachel I know.

"W- what are you doing here?"

"It doesn't matter. Sit." She gestures toward the empty spot next to her.

I look at it, doubtfully. "No, seriously. What happened?"

She shakes her head, softly. "That doesn't matter."

"No, it does matter," I shout, "everything about you matters!" She looks deeply into my eyes. "You matter to me."

She sighs. "You really wanna know?"

"Yeah," I whisper softly, "I do."

"It's gonna hurt you a lot."

I shake my head. "I don't care."

"I- I decided to come home early and surprise Tom with a cookie cake because he got upgraded at his office. A- and I decided to come through the back door, since there's no signal for that when," she stops and looks at me, "God, I can't go on."

"I- It's okay. You don't need to." I soothe her back.

"He was already celebrating with a lady," she blurts out.

It takes a moment for me to process that. I picture the scene and types of emotions Rachel might be feeling, and, without a second thought, pull her in for a hug.

"I really thought he was the one," Rachel sniffles. I hand her a tissue. "I remember looking at him and saying 'I do' and ―" she stops, "it's all bullshit!"

"I know," I murmur.

"Do you?" she asks, "do you really know what its like for someone to go behind your back?"

If only she knew. I look into her eyes.

"God, I should've just ended things as soon as I suspected something was up," Rachel gets up suddenly. "Do you know why I didn't show up to the airport?" she doesn't even wait for a response, "it was because the night before, I started to suspect things and I couldn't bare going out with Tom in public."

She slumps down on the floor. "We were both supposed to inform you of your mother's death. As a team. As parents," she runs a hand through her hair. "Am I that really bad of a mom?"

"No, no. Of course not!"

She looks intensely into my eyes. "I mean, like, do I even truly show affection towards Cathy and you?"

No! I wanna scream in her face. No! You know why? You don't even ask about my day, or how I'm doing. It's always you, you wanna talk about. The least you could do is at least let me know that you love me, but because your so stubborn and have no sense of empathy, you can't!

"Why would you even think that? Of course you do," I grit my teeth.

Rachel looks at me, as if she's daring me to tell the truth. "Thank you for being honest." She nestles her head into a pile of clothes. "Y'know, I think we should do this more often."

"Yeah..." But I'm not even listening.

I'm thinking about what my life has come to.

Gosh, maybe I truly did something wrong in my life to deserve this.

Maybe this is my life, and its time to accept it.

~~~

hi :)

one day, two chapters!! its funny how 1018 words isn't even that long of a chapter lol. anyways, y'all know the drill: COTE... please + thank U ✭

― AK 💜