I'll Be Right Here | ✔

38 | I'm sorry.

Derek

IT'S NOT NATURAL for me to feel guilty. Except for Cameron's death and I being the last child for my parents, I've never felt guilty, but for the next two days following the night of Saturday, I don't feel anything but guiltiness. It's like this cloud that covers you and isn't planning on leaving anytime soon. It hurts the most when you feel guilt for the person who you love the most; maybe even loves you too. God, what have I done? I'd been scolding myself nonstop ever since the incident that happened that I couldn't even enjoy The Good Dinosaur in peace. I ended up throwing out the untouched popcorn and the nearly three fourth Slurpee.

"What's got you down in the weather?" I look up to meet Philip, eyeing me down sympathetically.

"Oh nothing." I don't plan on telling Philip what happened.

"Nothing. Really?" Philip raises an eyebrow.

"Oh, what do you want me to ―"

"Actually the other day Aaliyah, alongside Kat, came looking for you and ―"

"Wait what?" I practically scream. So, Philip knew? "You knew?"

"Knew about what? Wait what? Will you chill! Jesus."

"Aaliyah, s- she showed up Saturday night to the movies."

"Yeah, I told you were gonna be there."

"But why?" I look up at Philip sternly. He's probably just like Spencer!

"She asked me. Probably wanted to thank you or something, geez."

Thank me? I never considered Aaliyah as that type of person. "Seriously?"

"Yeah. Why?" he stops, "Oh shit, did you mess up or something?"

"Yeah, big time," I sit down on the chair. "Why didn't you tell me?"

He shrugs his shoulders. "I don't know. You seemed so occupied, I thought ―"

"Well, don't think next time. J- just tell me."

"Yes, sir," he stands in an army position and salutes me.

I snicker, looking the other way. "You don't have to do that."

"I know," he smiles, "but I want to."  Whatever Philip's plan is, it's working, because I haven't laughed in the past two days.

---

IN MY WHOLE three years of baseball, I've never once missed practice. Unless if you count today. I'd been so invested in finishing my Economics quiz, that I ended up being fifteen minutes late. But, surprisingly, I don't care. In fact, I stopped caring about a month ago that's it's not surprising anymore. "Is is true, Derek?" is the first thing I hear when I enter the boy's locker room. "That you broke up with your girl?"

Anger flows through my body. How the hell do they know? God damnnit, Philip must've told them! He's the only one who knows. "We aren't even a couple."

"Then, are you and Olivia?" Spencer comes into view with a smirk. "Heard you knocked out both Tyler and his cousin. Bet you can't knock me out though." Oh shit. News tends to spread around quick in Lone Star High School.

I grit my teeth. "No, we aren't. And anyways, Tyler and his cousin weren't showing that much appreciation."

"Appreciation? Appreciation!" Spencer circulates the room of boys and soon, they all erupt in laughter. "Look who's talking! Do y'know how much appreciation we give you?" There's a moment of silence."No, you don't. Actually as a matter of fact, I think you should be cut off as captain," he eyes all the other teammates. "What do y'all think? Aye or nay?" The room echoes with an overbalance of ayes over nay's. Who the fuck had I become friends with, except for a backstabbing asshole? God, are you that stupid Derek? This whole time, I thought I had the most reliant friends; friends who I could trust. But, in the end, all I have is pain and grief.