Holy Two (2/2)

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“Why on earth would you take her cards?” Dinah confronts, sinking down in her chair by the kitchen table and offering one of the cups to Camila.

Camila tries to recall her thoughts, but they’ve become one big blur altogether. Ever since the incident two weeks ago, Lauren hasn’t returned a single call or message that Camila has left her so desperately.

“Honestly, I don’t know what I was thinking.” Camila pauses, stirring her cup, watching as the dark fluid swirls around. “You didn’t see her. Her eyes were so blank. I’m telling you, it’s never been that bad before.”

Dinah lets out a small sigh, looking at Camila with sympathy glazed in her eyes. “So what happened after you took her cards?” Dinah asks, taking a small sip of her cup.

“She threw me out!” Camila elaborates panicked. “She won’t even speak to me.”

“You haven’t talked to her? Like, at all?” Dinah arches her brow.

“No.” Camila swallows, biting her lip nervously. “Normani was with her yesterday, but from what I know Lauren barely spoke to her. I don’t think it’s good to pressure her at this point.”

“Don’t you think it’s best to fix it as soon as possible?” Dinah questions, receiving and unimpressed glare from other side of the kitchen table. 

“What do you think I’ve been doing all along?” Camila frowns, growing irritated at Dinah’s advice. 

“I’m aware you’ve called and texted her, but have you tried visiting her?” Dinah suggests, seemingly indifferent to Camila’s irritation.

“I did try. She wouldn’t let me inside.” Camila justifies.

“Huh? Was she in?” 

“Yes.” Camila admits, leaning her elbows on the table, feeling more and more tired as the conversation seems pointless.

“So why didn’t you just tell her everything you wanted to from outside the door?” Dinah confronts softly.

“Because I-” Camila trails off. “I don’t really know.” She huffs, mildly annoyed at herself. “I think… I have somewhere to be right now.”

Camila stands from her seat, throwing a last grateful glance at Dinah before storming out of the house. 

There’s one place she has to be at right now, and it takes her about twenty minutes to drive there, which gives her plenty of time to go over the details of her plan.

In her head, she plans out the pros and cons, how she’s going to defend herself, but also what she’s going to apologize for.

However, when Camila arrives at Lauren’s door, knocking two times. All words and arguments are wiped clean from her mind.

She’s entirely blank, hearing the expected shuffle of feet against a carpet before it all quietens down again. 

For a second, Camila debates if she should leave. After all, how is she going to convince Lauren when she can’t even remember what she was going to say?

Camila’s about to turn around when a barely visible nudge of the door handle causes her to change her mind. 

“Lauren?” She asks, pressing the palms of her hands and her ear against the door. “I know you can hear me. Please, I just want to talk.” 

Camila waits, hoping the door will swing open and that Lauren has decided to give her another chance.

But the door doesn’t open and Camila’s hope seems to falters alongside her crumbling heart. Suddenly Camila’s angry. She’s angry at Lauren for not letting her in, but she’s more angry at herself for being such an insensitive idiot. 

And as she feels the first drop of rain on her cheek, she’s definitely angry at God too.

“You know what? The whole reason we’re in this mess is because you don’t think I understand you, and the truth is - I don’t.” Camila exhales, “but I’m willing to. I’m sorry for taking your cards away, I shouldn’t have done that. I want to understand you Lauren. Help me understand.”

“You can’t understand.” Lauren husks from the other side, Camila’s eyes widening.

“Why not?”

“You’re embarrassed of me.” 

Camila furrows her brows, “I’m not embarrassed of you Lauren.” She claims, confused.

“You were the other night. When your aunts asked about me I saw your distress. It made you uncomfortable to have me counting.”

The air hitches in Camila’s throat and Lauren’s words feel like a punch to her chest. It’s not that Camila was embarrassed of Lauren, but yesterday she did choose to not speak up too much about Lauren. 

Even when her aunts had specifically asked, Camila had been so annoyed with them that she had  avoided the questions. Which obviously was the wrong choice to make, as Camila could hear the hurt in Lauren’s voice.

“I’m so sorry about yesterday Lauren. It’s not that I didn’t want to explain, but I didn’t think they deserved one.” Camila reveals, leaning even closer to the door. “Counting is a part of you Lauren, I would never be ashamed of that.”

“You still can’t understand.”

“Then explain it to me!” Camila urges desperately, feeling hopeless with each second that passed without achieving anything.

“I can’t, I don’t understand it myself! I just know I have to count these things.” Lauren breathes from the other side, clearly upset. “It’s all these numbers in my heads and they’re all trying to add up to two. And that’s all I can think of - pairs.”

“And that’s okay.” Camila shoots in sympathetically. 

“No it’s not. I know what I do is somewhat strange, but I can’t help it.” Lauren forces through a cramped throat, her voice wavering. “It’s unfair to you to be with me, I’m not normal.”

“Screw normal.” Camila bites out, “I’m sick of everyone thinking they know what normal is. The truth is - we’re all abnormal and that’s okay.” She states, feeling more determined. “So what if you lock your door twice or have to pair up your peas? Who even cares if you’re not having a good day everyday? No one else does anyway.”

Lauren gulps, leaning against the door with her back, knotting with her fingers. “You say that now, but in the long-run the bad days will annoy you and eventually push you away.”

“How about I make you a pact then? You can kiss me twice and caress  my skin in patterns on your good days, and when the bad ones come we’ll face them together?” Camila offers wholeheartedly. “I love you Lauren, please take the deal.” 

It takes one second, two seconds. Actually, it takes a whole bunch of seconds before the door handle finally twists and Camila’s heart takes a leap in relief. She can’t help but smile widely as Lauren’s figure becomes visible in the opening.

Camila steps forwards, locking her hands around Lauren’s neck and smiling up at the girl. “We’ll be okay Lauren.” 

“Even when things aren’t okay?” Lauren asks, receiving another endearing smile from Camila.

“Especially then.” Camila answers confidently, leaning up in a tender kiss. “We’ll be okay.”

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