It should be simple for me to tell you how I feel. After a month of being apart and after everything I've felt before then, but it's the total opposite. When I talk to friends about it, I say things just fine. But when it comes down to telling you I just can't.
My tongue swells and my gut opens up. My heart beats wildly against my ribs and my body acts as if it has the shakes. I don't know what it is, but when I feel as if I can explain it my words get jumbled up. I repeat everything like a 5 year old telling a story.
I feel as if me not being able to put it into words is a reflection of my mind and how I feel. Perhaps, my feeling are scattered. They're a lost puppy trying to find their way home except home is no where to be found.
I guess I know what to say just not how to say it. Then again for other people it rolls off my tongue as if it was programmed in my mind to say it.
The truth is darling, I'm angry. So angry my face should be red.
Sad, so sad my face should be blue.
My heart can feel so cold and turn into a block of ice. But then it can ignite a fire and melt it all at once.
I'm sad, I'm angry, and I miss you. And all at the same time I'm still in love with you.
