LDShadowLady; From the word go

Losing You

~Joel's Pov~

He was so subtle with his movements but not subtle enough… I noticed them. The winking, the sitting between us, the placing his arm around her shoulders in a so called ‘Friendly’ manner. He was out to steal her but I wasn’t going to let him.

For the first couple of hours I let him mess with me, only because I wanted to see what he would do if he thought I hadn’t caught on. Throughout this whole time I was trying to get Lizzie’s eye contact but she didn’t look in my direction once. Strange. It was almost as if she didn’t want to look at me or she only wanted to look at Sam. My grip on the controller tightened as Sam wrapped his arms around Lizzie to show her how to hold the controller properly. She had always held it in a strange way but that was something I love about her. I tried to get Sam to back off by starting the game but he just helped Lizzie with her steering though the race. The whole afternoon I had felt the tears building up as piece by piece I was starting to think she was starting to love Sam more than me. I was always out shown by Sam. He always stole the spotlight and it killed me to think he was about to steal the one I loved as well. At that moment when Lizzie’s tears of laughter were wiped away by Sam’s careless finger I couldn’t hold them back anymore. Feeling the hot tears beginning to spill down my cheeks I got up and walked out the room ignoring the sudden silence that followed my movements. Walking into my room I closed the door and clicked the lock. I needed to be away from them because I didn’t want to be there when Sam took her away from me for good. I was no competition, he could win easily. Hearing soft footsteps in the corridor, I hastily wiped away the tears and sat up straight on my bed. A gentle knock could be heard from the other side. “Joel?” I heard Lizzie’s soft voice call out, it only made my heart beat faster and my feelings to be in much more pain knowing that voice may not belong to me much longer. I couldn’t reply but the tears and sobs got louder. I heard Lizzie shuffle uncomfortably on the other side of the door.

A few minutes later Lizzie was sitting opposite me on the bed staring at me directly in the eyes. Not a word had been exchanged between us but enough was said with her eyes. The gentle blue held a whole new confusion and disappointment behind them. “Joel, tell me why you are crying and why you had to leave the room earlier” She practically demanded. I couldn’t get the words out between my sobs in time and Sam cam striding up behind Lizzie. Sam placed his hand on Lizzie’s shoulder and I shivered. “Don’t worry about this dweeb Lizzie” Sam snarled, directing his words at me “He could never stay in the same room as me for long as I always cast him in a shadow. He has never been man enough to stand up to me so he cries to himself instead”. The fury in my heart let itself out the cage. “You know what Sam? I am sick of you always looking down on me! I am sick of the way you treat me and I am sick of how you are stealing Lizzie” I shouted, now nose to nose with him. He laughed in my face and glared at me. “Maybe she was never destined to be yours” He smiled slyly. The thought took me aback and at this point you could see Lizzie’s anger. “I am not a prize for the competition between you two” She yelled “Is that all I have ever been Joel?” she asked turning to me “A way to show your brother up?” She finished clearly feeling betrayed and offended at this point. The hatred towards myself was overwhelming at this point. Sam raised his hands above his head and backed out the room. A few minutes later I heard the front door slam shut and a car engine start up. I was left to deal with the mess… As usual. Lizzie was still crying until she turned on her heals and left through my bedroom door. Rushing after her I grabbed her wrist and tried to turn her around. “Lizzie listen…” I started but she cut me off, “No Joel, why should I listen to you if all I was to you was a toy?” I lifted my hand up to wipe away her tears but she hit it away and ran down the stairs, stopping only at the door to pick up her jacket. I called after her desperately “Lizzie please wait...” But the sound of the slamming door signalled the end of my happiness.