I walked back home later that night because I was really in no mood to talk to anyone now. Darren yet again ruined my mood. I took my key and opened the door taking off my shoes.
I lazily walked to the living room and saw Felix walking from the one end of the room to the other worriedly while Chris was seated on the couch. Chris' head shot to the left and look directly into my eyes. Felix stopped walking and also looked me in the eyes. "Jesus, I thought you were legit gone", he said throwing his hands over his face. "Where is your phone?"
"The battery is dead. I told you to not wait for me. I was at Tiff's place", I said.
"She told me you left in the early morning", he said.
"I'm a 20 year old girl. I can survive on my own. I needed an escape", I said.
"An escape!" Felix raised his voice. "From what? Me? I told you to talk to me, but you aren't!"
"Felix for once don't try to interfere with my problems! I told you that I was okey!" I screamed back.
"Well you don't look okey. The bags under your eyes are visible and you try to shake it off by saying it was 'one bad night'. That isn't how it works, Luna. Just fucking talk to me!" Felix screamed
"Felix", Chris said as he stood up. "That's enough."
Chris walked to me and took me by the wrist and pulled me with him upstairs. He directly walked to my room and closed the door behind him. We just looked at each other not sharing a word. "What are we? What happened to us? Why are you pushing me away?"
I didn't answer. I looked down and just fiddled with on the end of my shirt.
"Talk to me", he said.
"Maybe we just aren't fit for each other", I whispered.
"Fit for each oth- are you serious right now. Everything went so well, why did you act so distant all of a sudden?" he asked. I couldn't blame him, I would be furious too.
"I don't-" I said but I couldn't finish because of the lump in my throat. A tear rolled down. "Like you anymore."
He didn't say a word and just stared at me, waiting for me to tell him it wasn't true, that it was all just a silly, idiotic joke. But I couldn't. I had to leave him in order for everything to work out.
"Just like that?" he said in a whisper. "As if my words meant nothing to you?"
"They don't. Not anymore", I said, tears streaming down my face.
"Luna, are you hearing yourself", he said as he walked closer and held my shoulders. "This doesn't make sense. You can't be serious right now."
"But I am", I said shaking of his hands. "I can't do this anymore."
"Luna don't just give up on us because of a mistake your dad made", he said, reaching out for me but I just turned my back to him. "Or is there more. Something I should know?"
"If you don't know anything, don't talk", I said trying my best to keep myself from crying aloud.
"Is there something more that I should know?" he asked. "Something that you're scared to tell me. Something that would upset me."
Everything that I'm doing is upsetting you and me but I can't tell you and I'm falling into pieces.
"No", I said. "I just don't feel like it anymore."
"You don't feel like dating me?" He asked, his voice changing to furious. "Am I some toy to you? You can't just tell me you like me one moment and throw me away without telling me why the other day. At least give me an explanation."
"I like someone else", I said, mentally puking at the thought of Darren.
He just looked at me with wide, shocked eyes. He opened his mouth but closed it again. "You can't be serious right now."
"But I am", I said.
"Luna, that's fucking bullshit. You can't make me believe this shit", he said.
"I can't have this conversation further. Please leave my room", I said crossing my arms over my chest, holding my upper arms.
"Luna, look at me. You can't be fucking serious about this", he said. "I can't let you go."
"People learn to let go", I said, tears still leaving my eyes.
He turned me around, revealing my crying, exhausted expression. "But I don't want to. What are you gonna do about it."
"No person can be forced in a relationship", I said, wiping away my tears.
"I can't take you serious right now", he said frustratingly, turning around and placing his hands over his face. "You're not telling me everything and it's killing me!"
"I am!" I said raising my voice.
"Look at you, you're crying!" he screamed back.
"Because you frustrate me. Please just go. Go!" I said as more tears left my eyes.
"I know you longer then today, Luna and I damn well know you don't give up on things you love so easily", he said, turning back around and coming closer to me.
"I never told you that I loved you, and neither did you." When those words left my mouth it looked as if he was punched in the face.
"You're being serious right now", he stated.
"I am", I said, lying for the 1000th time.
"Are you sure", he said coming closer, so close our faces almost touched.
"I am", I said again, not looking in his face.
"Look me in the eyes and tell me you want nothing to do with me, that you want me to leave right now. That you don't feel anything for me anymore", he said in a whisper.
This is what they mean with, you can't lie in the face of your beloved ones. Even if I would try, I couldn't look him in the eyes and tell him to leave. I couldn't look in his eyes and tell him I didn't love him. Everything was easier when I wasn't looking.
"I don't feel anything anymore, I don't want anything to do with you. I want you to leave now", I said still not looking up.
"Look me in the eyes", he breathed against my face. "Look me in the eyes and repeat that."
I couldn't do it. I raised my eyes and looked him in the eyes and the only thing that came were more tears. Without another word between us he pulled me in his embrace. "Please Luna, I'm begging you. Tell me this isn't real", his voice cracked.
I cried in his chest not saying a word. I heard his heart beat in his chest. Hard and fast, as if he had just run a marathon.
"I care for you", he said as he lowered his face and rested it on my neck, still holding me tightly. "I can't let you go", he said in a whisper, "not now, not ever."
How I wish to stay like this forever. With Chris in my arms. Chris by my side. How I wish I could just tell him everything.
I lightly pushed him away with my eyes closed. I couldn't see his hurt expression right now. Otherwise I wouldn't be able to let go. I turned around and wiped away my tears, looking at the ground. "I'm sorry Chris."
I felt his hand on my arm, but he just left it there. He didn't turn me around, he didn't pull me, nothing. He just held my arm, squeezing it. "Please", his voice cracked again.
"Can you please leave my room", I said in a low tone.
"Luna-"
"Now please", I interrupted him.
His grip on my arm loosened and was slammed against his own body. I heard his footsteps going in the direction of the door. I lightly turned my head to look at him only to see him doing the exact same. I looked back in front of me waiting for my door to close. And when it finally did, I slammed myself on the bed.
"I'm so sorry Chris", I whispered to myself. "So fucking sorry."
________________________
This was a rather short chapter but no panic, more is yet to come!!
Only 5 chapters left and than it is sadly the end of this book:(
YOU ARE READING
His Help || Bang Chan FanFiction (Stray Kids)
Fanfiction"This might sound really really weird, but I need your help. Very honestly you were the only person I could think of. My aunt is going to marry soon and of course I will have to be present there. But my parents don't like the fact of me going 'alone...
