Powerless {A.K.}

31.

All good things must come to an end I suppose. Tonight was the last show and then it was back to my normal routine of no sleep and overpriced Chinese food. Things were definitely going to be different. Long distance kills, so I've been told. The thought of losing Awsten killed me. The thought of losing Awsten to someone else killed me even more. Ciara was always a thought in the back of my head. I can only imagine how Awsten must feel. Maybe it's just my insecurities talking. Or maybe it's just reality hitting me in the face.

I mean, it's time to face the truth. We won't be around each other nearly as much now. We will likely barely see each other anymore. Eventually he will lose interest and leave. Everyone does eventually. Relationships have never worked for me. My history isn't exactly a good one. I've only had three relationships and they've all ended pretty shitty with the one exception of Jack. That situation isn't exactly clear as crystal either though.

"Baby, are you okay?" Awsten's calming voice surrounds me in comfort as I leave my thoughts.

"Yeah, just tired." I smile some and he frowns.

"You slept in today and we went to bed early last night, therefore that excuse is actually bullshit." He says, crossing his arms, raising his eyebrow as he studies me looking for the lie.

"I'm just thinking I guess. It's nothing."  I say and he doesn't seem too convinced. He opens his arms and pulls me into a hug, gently holding me in his arms.

"I've been worried too. It's okay. We're gonna be okay, I promise." He mumbles into my hair reassuringly. I nod into his chest, breathing in his scent. I would miss this so much.

"Hey, T, we gotta get ready." Alex says, getting my attention. I pull away from Awsten and wave goodbye before following beside Alex to the dressing room.

"Which one?" Alex asks, holding up two different shirts. I frown and push past the shirts and go to the clothing rack, picking out a completely different shirt. It's a white muscle tank. I grab his last young renegade denim jacket and pair it with black jeans and black shoes. I hand the clothes to him and he changes as I contemplate the last thing needed for his outfit, avoiding seeing him as much as physically possible although I've seen everything before unfortunately.

"What do you think?" He asks and I turn around as he models the outfit.

"Looks good but it needs something." I say, staring for a moment before taking my bandana off. I put it on him instead and fix his hair.

"Oh yeah, this is a LOOK." I say taking out my phone, snapping a pic to send to Lisa. She immediately responds with around 30 heart eye emojis. I giggle some, putting my phone away. I continued to help the other boys pick their outfits and get ready.

"When's the last time you optionally went to a concert?" Alex asked and I shrugged, plopping down on the couch.

"God I don't know. A year ago? Maybe?"

"Wellllll..." Alex trailed off, smirking some.

"What are you planning, Gaskarth?"

"I know how much you love Nick and..." He says, putting his hands in his pockets.

"And??" I perk up, listening eagerly. 

"I may or may not have planned tonight to be the same night of his show."

"Wait.."

"Jawn is filling your spot tonight. Go see him." He smiles, pulling out a ticket and handing it to me.

"I love you so much!" I jump up, hugging him tightly.

"I know you do." He laughs some, hugging me back.

"What are we celebrating?" Geoff asks as he walks in to get ready. 

"Tori is getting a night off." Alex says and I smile at Geoff, running over to hug him.

"But tonight's our last night?" Geoff questions, hugging me back, hesitating some.

"Jawn is covering for me. You'll do great, I just know it." I say, letting go.

"Oh. Thanks T." He smiles some.

"I'll be back later. Tell Awsten I love him and tell Otto to look for Grace." I say, walking out.

××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××

•AWSTEN'S POV•

"Otto what the fuck are you doing?" Geoff asks as Otto balances his drumsticks on his top lip pretending it was a mustache. They fall and he frowns.

"I blame you." He mumbles, picking up his drum sticks.

I anxiously peak out at the crowd and immediately hear screams. I giggle some, hiding back behind the curtains.

"Has anyone seen Tori?" I ask and Geoff awkwardly looks away, avoiding the question.

"She's not coming." Jawn says, picking up his camera.

"She's..what? Why? Is she okay?" Is she sick? I told her not to eat those-"

"She went to see Nick." Geoff stops me and my heart drops.

"Nick? As in..."

"The musician. Yeah." Geoff's expression saddens and he sighs.

"Do you think she.." I trail off as my brain swirls with a million thoughts.

"No." Jack says sternly and I jerk my head to look in his direction. I try to form my words and he laughs some.

"She's not cheating on you, Awsten. She just wants to see her friend." He rolls his eyes.

"Yeah. Friend. Heard that one before." I mumble, looking for my guitar picks.

"Don't fucking talk about Tori like that." Jack says, gritting his teeth as he leans against the wall.

"She abandoned us all, Jack. She fucking left us."

"She's allowed to have friends!" His voice raises and I groan.

"Yeah, some friend huh? Breaking up with her for someone else and then being absolutely fucking pitiful over it and practically black mailing her for loving me. You're not good for her and you know it." I snap, turning to face him.

"What makes you think you are?" He laughs, crossing his arms.

"You're gonna regret saying that." I crack my knuckles and he just shakes his head, laughing.

"C'mon, kid. Let's see if this garden snake has any venom." He stands up straight, rolling up his sleeves, stepping towards me.