First Love | Sope

Chapter 21

Sitting in bed the next day, I bring another spoonful of soup up to my lips, working on slowly eating my quickly cooling lunch.

"Hyung?"

Namjoon is stood in my doorway once more, having heard his hand sliding against the wood of my door before he'd spoken. I hum quietly in response, not entirely in the mood for speaking right now. Despite having done really nothing all morning or the rest of the day yesterday after meeting with Hoseok, I'm still exhausted and my body aches.

I soon hear his footsteps bringing him into my room, picking the bowl of soup up so that it doesn't spill when he sits down on my bed.

"So what'd you think of yesterday? Of Hoseok?" Namjoon asks softly once he's sat down. I shrug lightly at the question as I spoon more soup into my mouth.

Quite honestly, I'm not entirely certain what to think of all of it. He seemed kind enough during the lesson. And I certainly appreciated the atmosphere of the music shop compared to all of the others. He wasn't demanding or pushy either. Just a steady gentle guidance.

"What would you think of going back for another lesson?" Joon then questions. Pouting softly, I shrug once more.

"I wouldn't mind it. He's certainly better than anyone else we've tried." I murmur before eating once more. I've tossed the thought around a few different times in the last twenty four hours, as to whether I'd want to go back or not. I mean, he's not making us pay. I don't know how you can't just take an opportunity like that when it's not like he's a dick or anything. He was actually really kind. It was... nice.

"You're not gonna get upset if I sign you up for another lesson then? I could talk with him and see if we can set up a schedule for you to go meet with him, if you'd like. And then cancel it if things get out of hand or something." Joon offers lightly then. I shrug once more, swirling the spoon in my hand around in the soup.

"Not really, I wouldn't get upset over that. I might get upset if all you keep making me is this damned soup though." I mumble before a small smile forms on my lips. It grows though, as I hear him chuckle brightly at my additional comment.

"Okay, Yoongi. I'll see what I can do. I'm just trying to make things easier on you, is all. But I'll give Hoseok a call tomorrow then, and see what his availability is. Alright?" Namjoon responds gently. I bite my lip, nodding my head. I hear him stand from my bed before he begins to walk away, but I can't help myself as I speak up to stop him.

"Joon?" I ask softly, nervous for what I know I'm about to bring up. I hear him stop in his tracks, presumably turning back to look at me.

"Yes, hyung?" Namjoon responds, a gentle tone being used. I sigh softly to myself, running a hand through my hair.

"Please don't feel like you have to keep yourself trapped here. I feel bad enough that you're not back at school right now. Don't forget to take care of yourself too. I... I know it's harder now because I can't see, but I'll figure it out. Just... I don't want you holding yourself or your life back because of me. I'll have to figure out how to take care of myself at some point, even though there's certain things I won't be able to do anymore. I don't want you holding yourself back from being able to go out or do things that you want to do, just because of me. I'll manage one way or another." I tell him, lowering my head a bit as I finish speaking.

I hear him take a deep breath, making me even more nervous for his response than I initially had been. I didn't remotely say everything that I want to say to him, but I know that I don't have it in me to say it all yet. Besides, I'm sure this is way more than enough to start with.

"I'll manage Yoongi. I'm supposed to be here and taking care of you." Namjoon answers softly. I shake my head immediately at this though, frowning deeply.

"No, Joon. I'm serious. I know the doctor said that you needed to stay here and that it was gonna take a while but I don't want that for you. You have college to be finishing up. You have a life to live." I argue. However, I soon feel him sit back down on my bed, brushing my hair back a bit.

"Yoongi, it's gonna be fine. You're my brother. I want to be here to make sure everything's okay." Namjoon says softly, laying his hand on my arm gently. I shake my head once more though, guilt only building up within me.

"No. No, Joon. I have to figure out how to manage on my own. You have college to finish. You have a life to live and that's not one where I'm bogging you down. G-give me two weeks. Give it two weeks. Go out. Do shit. Have fun. And then go back to college. I-I can't imagine how much work you've put into your degree, and I don't want it delayed any longer than it's already going to be because of this. Jimin will move back in here, a-and I'll figure something out. Okay? Please, Joon. You've come far enough as it is by this point. Don't stop yourself now because of me." I disagree, trying hard not to get choked up.

I hear him sigh, before I feel myself getting pulled into a tight hug.

"I'll do my best not to disappoint you, hyung. I just wanna make sure you're gonna be okay. I just want to do everything that I can to help you because you've done so much for me."