Thought

Chapter Four

Word Count: 1687

~Luella

I stare at myself in the mirror.

The dark shadows under my eyes have only increased in their pigment. Meeting Revel and the reaction my therapist had to his existence has unnerved me. I've extended my usual routine of avoiding sleep to past midnight. I'm not excited about seeing Revel in my dreams tonight, and not having any control to ask him why he is tormenting me like this.

"Maybe this is just you going crazy," I mutter, pulling my eyelid up to see how bloodshot my eyes are. Either there is something intrinsically wrong with me, or I'm reading too far into the odd night terror and hallucination.

Now that sounds insane.

Pulling my light hair back into a bun, I look at how angular my face looks. I've never looked so sick, with my papery looking skin and sullen eyes. At one point in my life, I admired the green flecks within my hazel eyes, but now they have lost all familiar colour. I don't remember the last time I ate a full meal, and I'll use the fact that the rain hasn't cleared up as an excuse for not seeing the sun.

Thunder cracks outside, accompanied by heavy rain. I'm not sure who got upset to cause this weather.

Whirling around, I quickly stop my running bath. Hopefully the hot water and wafting steam will be enough to calm and relax to the point where I can consider sleeping. Leaning over it, I open the window enough to let the sound of the thunder and rain outside in, before undressing. I've always been a fan of the ominous storm sounds. It helped me as a writer, so now I hope it will help me sleep.

Stepping into the water, I glide beneath the surface until only my neck and head are above the waterline. It feels good to be encompassed by warmth.

If only everything were so simple.

What if all this is real, and I'm not hallucinating? What if I am actually being visited by a Sin, who lives in a territory halfway across the land? I'm not sure where I must have read about him, to start having dreams about those eyes, but it was surely in a late night reading session where I fell asleep with the book on my face, and woke with no memory of the last words I read.

"Why is my life so complicated? Why not Della's? Why not Julian's?" I say aloud, tracing the surface of the water with the tip of my finger, watching the ripples flutter away from me.

Even my book characters have safer lives than me. They have answers to their queries, reasons for their insanity. And yet here I am, completely unsure of where tomorrow will take me. Or tonight, even. I'm not looking forward to another night of torment. Last nights was the first time it deviated from the usual circumstances. It's like being stuck in a prison.

Lying back, I close my eyes. Should I just let the water take me?

"Isn't it a shame that just when you thought mortal life was tortuous and confusing enough, you're thrust into a world with magic and immortals," I hear suddenly, filling the space where thunder sounds should have echoed.

Glancing up, I see a man sitting in the bath with me, lounging back against the porcelain.

My heart skips a beat, but I don't move, I don't panic. It's the man from my dreams, but not Revel. I've never seen such a clear, focused image of him before, so seeing him lying in my bath with me, knocks the breath out of my lungs.

He stares at me, those silvery eyes glinting through the veil of steam in front of me. They aren't the hard, mercury silver of Revels, but more a cloudy, faint silver. Either the steam is playing tricks on me, or I actually can see built up mist within his irises, swirling around, unruly and wild. I've never seen anyone like him before. His hair is a smudge of inky black, only defined by the slight curl to each strand.