Thought

Chapter Seventeen

Word Count: 2010

~Thought

My brother paces in front of me.

It's not often that Time visits me. We may have sorted everything out between us, but that doesn't mean all is solved. However, he is here now, walking around in my living room, tapping his finger against his chin. I'm surprised he found me here. I've left my usual estate in my territory for a small cabin in one of the Virtue's land.

"You're a selfish bastard, you know that?" Time mutters. How much energy he is putting into me and Luella's relationship is fascinating. He doesn't care about much other than his own mate nowadays, so seeing him here, actually putting his opinion has me somewhat pleased.

I scrap a knife down a piece of wood I've been carving, as an active way to keep my hands busy and my thoughts in the back of my head. "Believe it or not, I'm doing It for her."

Time raises an eyebrow at me.

"Because you're the angsty immortal whose dramatic life would change hers so drastically," he mutters sarcastically, but I agree. I'm not as forward with how I feel as Time is. The way he went about getting his mate was hasty, with no remorse. I, however, am not willing to put my mate through what it takes to be with an immortal yet. She's not ready.

"Exactly."

"We all have a past, Thought," Time tells me, only making me glare at him. We are the exact same age, but Time acts as though he knows infinitely more than me. Just because he was lucky, does not mean I will be. "Maybe she would appreciate the honesty."

"Not everyone has a past like an immortal. There are things not even the most forgiving person couldn't look past," I remind him.

Time pauses his pacing.

"She's your mate. There's a bond. Grow the bond and there's no way she will be able to keep herself away from you," Time tells me. That's a part of the problem. The bond. The bond that taunts both me and here. I want to be with her, and there is no lie in that. But needing to keep her away from me and the life I've been born into is not something I can compromise on.

But Luella won't keep away. The bond will draw us together, and she will keep looking, and I will keep her close but far enough away to not feel guilty. It will be a horrible, cruel dance we will do forever, until she eventually passes on and I will be forced to live with the grief forever.

Wow, maybe my plan isn't for the best. But that doesn't mean that Time is right. His power is different to mine. He can change things, I can't. My decisions are permanent.

"I have been working on the bond," I say uneasily.

"Through dreams don't count. Keeping her at a distance doesn't change anything about the bond. It might even make her resent you," Time reminds me, as if that doesn't cross my mind each day. Time moves again, but this time over to my wooden stand by the entrance to my kitchen. He picks up a bottle of alcohol, as if it does anything to him or that he likes the taste.

"Through dreams is perfect," I tell him assuredly. At least that's what I've been telling myself recently. "Distance, until she's ready for my life. Until she's ready to know what kind of person I am. Because if you can forgive me, maybe she can to."

Time shakes his head at me as he pours a drink. Handing one to me, he drinks his back quickly. I slip my glass onto the table beside me.

"Immortals are going to start wanting her," he tells me firmly. "To get to your abilities. You forget your power sometimes."

I loosen a breath. That's just the problem.

***

~Luella