hard | daniel seavey

chapter thirteen

Looking in the mirror for the hundredth time within the last ten minutes, my nerves began to rise. Today was my first day of my internship with Simon and Schuster and as proud as I was, there were thoughts in the back of my head saying that I would somehow mess this up. I breathed deeply and finished doing my makeup.

Daniel walked in, still in his sweats from the night before. Without looking at him, I could feel his eyes burning through my skin. I kept it simple but professional today with a pair of olive green paperbag pants, a black shirt with little ruffles on the sleeves, and a pair of tan heels.

"Do I look okay?" I asked nervously, turning towards him. He chuckled and stepped towards me, interlocking our fingers.

"Beautiful as ever," He said and rested his forehead against mine. Besides small kisses on the cheek or head and cuddling at night, Daniel was very patient with my decision on not wanting to rush things. I knew it was killing him. My head was still all over the place and he has a tendency to pull me in so easily without trying, so I was thankful that he kept a slight distance when it came to affection.

"I'm so nervous," I sighed, closing my eyes. A part of me wasn't sure if I was talking about my first day, going to Aaron's afterwards, or both. I felt the pad of his thumb rub over my cheek smoothly.

"You're going to do great. They'd be crazy not to love you." Daniel's voice was quiet. I opened my eyes, locking them with his, and instantly getting lost in his ocean eyes.

"I don't deserve you." I said sincerely. I really didn't. Daniel was so gentle, passionate, caring and everything any girl would die for. It hurt to know that I had him, when I really didn't. That something still had me attatched to Aaron and it kept me from being with the amazing man standing in front of me.

"I'll spend forever showing you that you do," Daniel's face inched towards mine. Our lips were barley touching to the point where I was craving him. But he slowly pulled back, a smirk growing on his face. "C'mon, you gotta get to work."

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Work was amazing. I had my own little space next to Derek's office and I spent almost the entire day reading. I had gotten so caught up in an entry that Derek had to come in and tell me to go home. Time had flew by and it was already 3.

Now, I sat in Aaron's apartment. He ran around looking for the menu to the Chinese place.

"Aaron we get the same thing everytime, why do you need the menu?" I groaned, reaching over for my phone.

"I want to try something new. I'm on a new leaf, I'm changing for the better." Aaron finally found it in one of the drawers and ran over to me.

"Just because you're trying to change doesn't mean you have to change everything about you." I laughed as he flipped through the menu.

We sat down and actually talked. We talked about school and work and basically everything in between. We haven't had a conversation that didn't end in us fighting in a long time. We ate food and watched some t.v., even though we talked most of the time. Around 5 I decided it was best to leave.

"I had fun. Thank you for coming over." Aaron said as I stood in the door way. He took a step closer, slowly cupping my face with his hand. His forehead rested on mine. It felt like old times again and I couldn't stop myself from slowly falling back into the rotation of us. Memories of Daniel and me standing like this this morning flooded my mind, sending a pit to grow in my stomach. "Please stay. I don't want you to go."

I looked up at Aaron. He tilted his head and began leaning in. I closed my eyes and hesitated before stepping back. "I can't." Was all I said before turning around and going back down to my car.