The Abandoned Lovers

-7-

Chapter 7 - The Storm and Memories

People say that a sound, a smell, a name, triggers memories so easily. Something you've lost for such a long time can come back in a mere moment. Let me tell you, that is so true. Because every time I hear and see thunder storms so many unwanted memories flow back into my stressed mind.

Just by thunder, a sound so close to a gunshot.

The one that reminds me of what took my sister,

and almost me.

I'm at the mirror, slowly tracing my finger over the gunshot scar next to my heart. Just from the storm going on outside, the one that brings tears that threaten to spill from my eyes every time I hear the thunder.

Rain pellets over my roof, I can hear it from my room that happens to be on the second floor. My dad grows on the floor under me because of the rain that flows into our house from not properly sealed holes and thresholds.

As soon as I hear the glorified bang from outside I jump, it's like the Fourth of July. It's thunder. I look up, I'm not letting those tears fall and break my three year record.

I blink until they retreat to the sides of my eyes, blurring my vision like earlier today. But what I promised Kingston is right. I have three weeks to finish this project and since I already did my chores I will do something I barely do.

I'll sleep. Something I have a lack of.

My old bed lies on the floor, I don't have any of the decor I used to because my dad sold it all after my mom left. He barely works so he needed the money. But when I come home and he is at work, it's as best as a day gets.

It has no sheets or pillows, the only thing I have is an old barely-working alarm and the sun to wake me up. And no, I don't have any blankets. I have my three sweaters and two pairs of jeans to keep me warm.

If I got a job I wouldn't get home immediately after school so then my dad would beat me more and then I'd probably miss work or die. So that's a no.

As I lie down on my bed, a sweater or two covering me and tears almost spilling from the thunder that seems so close to me, I don't let life pass by me. I think.

Something I don't do enough, think. And if I do I normally am just thinking about my mistakes. I think about everything, my situation with my dad, being a senior, Kingston and how he can't get out of my head.

His baby blue eyes, and the "King" necklace he gave River.

And how I'm kinda fucking close with KINGSTON BRAG.

After thinking about that for way to long I finally close my eyes, letting sleep overtake me. Hoping that one of my nightmares doesn't 'grace' my sleep.

———————

I bolt up from my bed, my sweater that covered me falling onto my lap. My breathing is hard and my heart rate slowly dissipates from its fast pattern.

The sun is gone from the sky, darkness rims everything with a small hint of light coming from behind the horizon.

The smell of the rain throughout the night  welcomes me. I love the rain, just not when it is accompanied by thunder and lightning.

The smell makes me feel better, my nightmares had shown up again. Like most nights, the same flashback over and over again.

The more and more I remember it the more and more it becomes apparent it was my fault she died.

I should've just moved, I didn't matter but my sister did. She kept my family together, if I would have died this wouldn't have happened to my sister. She was caring and loving, everything I can't be.