Can't Run From You

Chapter 9

I drove the two-minute drive to my house and sat in the drive way until my mom text me that I needed to get home already. I just text back 'okay'. When I finally looked okay enough to go inside I practically ran to my room. My mom and dad were in the kitchen just talking. I think they were having a bible discussion or something. When they get into those they end up talking for hours. It's like their own little world. If they knew what just happened they would probably kick me out of the house for days. I just went to my room and stared at the ceiling. I had my track clothes on still. I know that I should call Molly, or Lucy but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. If I called them they would come over and I would tell them everything and then I would have to admit that I don't love the one person who loves me the most in the world. They would just make me feel bad for it too. They would ask me how I could do this. They would make it sound like I did it on purpose. It was 9:12 and it was a Tuesday night. Fuck it. I picked up my phone and started dialing.

Hello? Eli asked

Hey I know this is out of nowhere but do you want to spend the night?

Umm yeah let me ask really quick. In less than a minute or two she said

Send me your address I'll be there in 10 minutes

I walked down to the kitchen. My parents were still talking about something but I didn't listen. I walked over to my mom and put my hand on her shoulder. She just looked up at me and gave me a smile. My dad got up and gave me a hug. I hadn't actually talked to them today I just ran in.

"Can my friend Eli spend the night?" I asked. My parents looked at each other and they were about to start bombarding me with questions when I realized what they were thinking.

"Eli's a girl. It's a nick name. Her full name is Elizabeth." I said quickly.

"I don't know Thea we've never met her before." My mother said. Although it was a valid point I didn't have the luxury of them saying no, Eli was already heading over. I needed her to be here tonight.

"Please. You can meet her tonight and you guys will really like her." I said trying to get them to say yes. I looked at my father and silently pleaded with him to say yes. After a good ten seconds he said

"Okay that's fine but next time ask a little sooner, and maybe not on a school night." He said giving me a little smile.

"Okay I will thank you." I said walking over to him and kissing him on the cheek. A couple minutes later and I got a text from Eli saying she was on my street and to come out so that she knew which house was mine. I walked outside and flagged down her Jeep. As soon as she parked and got off the car I walked up to her and hugged her. At first she didn't know what to do, but after a couple of seconds she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me back. I couldn't help it, I started to cry again.

"Woah babe are you okay?" she asked still hugging me tight. I just shook my head that was on her shoulder. She had just gotten out of the shower, I could tell because her hair was still we. She smelled good. Eli let me cry for a bit until I pulled myself together. When I did Eli grabbed her bag out of the back of her jeep and we walked inside. I didn't let Eli sit and talk to my parents for very long. Back in my room I realized that I was still in my track clothes. Eli seemed to notice too because she gave me a little look.

"I'm gonna take a shower real quick." I said. She just nodded her head and sat down on my bed. I grabbed my pajamas from my drawer and went into the bathroom. I set my clothes on the counter and looked at myself in the mirror. I didn't recognize myself. Everything just felt wrong. For the first time in my life I didn't know who I was. I had been with Will for so long that I don't know who I am if I'm not 'Wills girlfriend'. I took my clothes off and took a quick shower. When I got out I checked my phone and saw a text from Will saying

Hey I'm sorry I didn't see you out. Are you okay? I love you. I didn't know what to say.

Yeah it was getting late so I had to get home. I love you too. You should get some sleep though you have practice tomorrow. Sent the text before I had time to overthink it. I finished putting my clothes back on and walked back into my room. Eli was sitting on my bed in the same place looking at something on her phone. When she looked up she smiled at me.

"So, you wanna tell me what's going on?" she ran her hand through her still wet hair. I just walked to her and sat on the floor in front of her. I had my knees at my chest and my arms were crossed over my knees.

"I had sex with Will." I didn't look at her as I said it, but I knew she was freaking out.

"Woah are you okay?" she asked. I liked that that was her first question. If it were Molly or Lucy here their first question would have been 'Was it good?' or 'How big was it'. I loved them but sometimes they were just too much.

"I don't know." I said even though I knew I wasn't.

"Hey look at me." She said it so sweetly I couldn't help but look up at her. Her eyes were green again.

"Now tell me what you're thinking." She said still looking at me. There had been so much going through my mind that I felt like I needed to say, but now that she was asking me to say them, I couldn't get them out. Thinking them is one thing, but if I said them I knew they'd be real.

"I don't love him." I whimpered. I didn't want it to be true. I didn't want to say it, but at the same time I felt like if I didn't tell someone I was going to die. It hurt so much to know that I didn't love him. I could feel the tears falling again.

"Hey it's okay, come here." She said as she knelt to the ground to hug me again. I hated crying, especially in front of other people but when Eli was hugging me I just left like it was going to be okay somehow.

"Why do you think you don't love him?" she said into my neck.

"I don't know, all I know is that I don't love him. The feelings that you're supposed to feel, I just don't feel them. I don't know if I ever have." I mumbled into her hair.

"I wish I did. But when everything was over and he said he loved me I just, I knew." I said

"That's okay. Just because you've been with someone for a long time doesn't mean they're the right someone." She said softly. She let go of me and stood up. She reached out her hand and helped me up. I wiped my eyes and smiled at her.

"Thank you." I smiled.

"Any time babe." She laughed. Babe. That's twice tonight.

"We should probably go to sleep though, we still have school tomorrow." She said. I just said

"Yeah you're right." And got under the covers of my bed. I scooted over to the side closest to the wall so that Eli could just slip in next to me. When she got in I realized that the light was still on.

"Awe shit." I said faking irritation. I just heard Eli laugh a little bit. I got out from under the covers and climbed over Eli to get off and turn the light switch off. My eyes hadn't adjusted to the dark yet so I fumbled my way back to the bed. I put my hand on what I though was the bed but when I heard Eli say

"Owe" I realized it was her stomach.

"Haha I'm sorry I can't see." I laughed.

"It's okay, I'll just scoot over." She said. My eyes were starting to adjust because I saw Eli move over to where I had been in the bed. I got in the bed and laid down on my back.

"Goodnight Thea." Eli said

"Goodnight." I said back.