Can't Run From You

Chapter 23

Needless to say, Eli didn't jump at the meet today. Even though Clark told her to come and watch she didn't. I came in first because there weren't very good teams here and they were all jumping 14's. We finished long jump at around 11:30, and as soon as we were done I walked over to Clark to get my medal. I gave Lucy and Molly a wave as I walked by. They had been watching me jump the whole time. Walking up to Clark I already knew she was going to say something about how bad I jumped.

"Good job." She didn't say it like it was meant for praise though.

"I jumped terrible. The other girls just jumped worse than I did." I just started putting my medal in my spike bag.

"That is very true. Maybe you should be the coach." I just rolled my eyes.

"Thea, I know you can jump a hell of a lot better than this so whatever it is you and Eli have going on you need to straighten it out because you aren't performing the way I know you can." I looked up at her confused.

"Mhm. I have eyes. I know when my runners are arguing over something. If it's a boy just forget it. You girls need to just focus on running." Clark just gave me a knowing look and walked off to go check on the other events. I gathered my stuff and walked over to the bleachers. Getting closer I noticed that it was just Molly on the bleachers.

"Where's Lucy?"

"She's with Eli." Now I got mad. Why the hell were they together. Eli was supposed to be here. Clark told her to be here. So why the hell wasn't she here. I stormed off and walked over to the camp with Molly trying to calm me down, trying to get me to stop. When I got to the camp I saw Lucy and Eli sitting on Eli's hammock talking about something. I walked straight up to them and stopped.

"What the hell?" I was looking at Eli but Lucy answered.

"I saw you jump. You did great." Lucy said.

"You were supposed to be there." I was still looking at Eli.

"Sorry. I had prior engagements." Eli said. Her brown eyes were glaring at me, but I could see the hurt in them. Before I could say anything else, I heard someone behind me say

"What having a lovers spat?" It was Lila. Right as she said it I saw Eli jump down from the hammock and walk up to her.

"What the hell did you just say?" Eli was a good 2 or 3 inches taller than Lila

"I said are you two having a lovers spat?" Lila spit back.

"How would you know what one looks like? You jump from guy to guy." Eli said

"Fuck off Eli." Lila said stepping in closer to her. I could see Eli making her left hand into a fist. She was about to hit her. Before either one of them could say anything else I stepped in, pulled Eli back and dragged her all the way to the bathroom. She didn't fight me, she just kept walking with me. I had pulled her by the waist but now I was just pulling her hand. When we got into the bathroom Eli put her hands on the sink and looked down at it. She was pissed. I could see it in her body language. Her back muscles were flexing and her forearms were tight because she was gripping the sink so hard.

"Are you okay?" it barely came out but she heard me. She turned around and looked at me, her eyes were still dark brown, angry.

"No, I'm not okay Thea!" she was yelling now.

"None of this is okay! Lila's a fucking bitch, I rolled my ankle again and I don't know if I'm even going to be able to fucking run." She looked down at the sink again and took a breath. I'd never heard Eli yell before. She was always so sweet and kind. Yes, she was a smart ass with a mouth but she wasn't the type to blow up, at least not the Eli I knew. A few seconds later she said

"I can put up with Lila, I can run even if it hurts, but I can't pretend like everything is okay when you won't even look at me." She kept staring at the sink. When she looked up into the mirror I saw her reflection looking back at me. She looked at me with her now gray eyes through the reflection.

"I know you chose him. And I know why. But it doesn't make it hurt any less." I could hear the hurt in her voice. I could feel it in my chest. I was trying so hard not to cry, but when she turned around to face me I felt a tear fall. I quickly wiped it away and looked at my feet.

"I'm sorry Eli. I wish things were different." I wished it more than anything in the world.

"Yeah. Me too." I watched her walk out for a second time. Was this how it's going to be from now on? Me watching her leave? Wishing with everything in me that she would turn around and just kiss me? I couldn't do this. I made the right decision. So why the fuck does it hurt this much.

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Today has gone terribly. We came in 2ndfor the 4x1 and 3rdfor the 4x2. I couldn't seem to take fast enough and Eli's ankle was still bothering her. Oh, and we both are feeling like shit so that doesn't help. We have been avoiding each other all day. Molly hasn't left my side and the same goes for Lucy to Eli. When the coaches brought us all lunch Eli didn't even come off the field to eat, Lucy just took her sandwich to her.

After we ran the 4x2 we had a lot of waiting around to do. They're doing the open 200 right now but that still leaves 300 hurdles and the 1600. Molly and I had been watching the running events all day. We were sitting in the bleachers watching the varsity boys get ready for their race. They were bouncing around and being so jittery. Right around the time they were getting in their blocks Molly turned to me and said

"Eli's not running the 4x4." I looked up in shock but Molly was still looking at her phone. She must be talking to Lucy.

"What do you mean she's not running the 4x4?"

"After the 4x2 her ankle was giving her a lot of trouble so Clark pulled her from it."

"Who the fuck is going to run then?" shit shit shit. This cannot be happening.

"Lucy says Clark told Lila to run it." No no no no no.

"No, she can't run it. Eli has to run." I was full on freaking out because if Lila ran she would have to take third leg which would mean that I was anchor. We haven't even worked on hand offs. I stared at the field with my arms crossed and contemplated just how bad this was going to be. We sat in silence for a good 2 minutes before Molly asked

"Thea what are you going to do about Eli?" Molly had been very careful not to ask me about Eli all day. She had kept our conversations short and mostly about track. But now I guess was as good a time as any to ask this question.

"What do you mean?" I said stupidly.

"I mean you like her. A lot. And she likes you. I don't understand why you don't just break up with Will. I know you said it would hurt him but don't you deserve to be happy?"

"Everyone keeps telling me that they just want me to be happy. And I am when I'm with her. But Mol you know how my family is. If I started dating a girl..." I trailed off. I had never actually said the words out loud. I never let myself think about actually dating her.

"Thea at the very least you could end it with Will. Every day you guys are together is just a reminder to you about how much you don't love him, and it just makes him think you do." I knew she was right but I didn't know how to end it. I didn't know if I could.

"You're right." I watched as another heat of boys lined up for the 200.

"Thea, I love you and that's why I'm telling you this."

"I know Mol. It's just... complicated." She wrapped her arms around me and put her head on my shoulder.

"I know it is. But you can't keep torturing yourself like this."

We came in 3rdfor the 4x4. Lila lost our lead.