Can't Run From You

Chapter 26

As soon as I sent the text Eli responded within seconds saying she would be over in 10 minutes. I turned my phone off and threw it in the back seat. As I drove home I couldn't focus. My thoughts were coming at me all at once or not at all. I felt like I was in a daze. When I got home I walked into the living room and sat on the couch. My parents weren't home, but I couldn't remember why. About 5 minutes later the doorbell rang. Still in a daze I got up and opened the door. When Eli saw me she didn't say anything, she just wrapped her arms around me. I didn't move, I couldn't. The tears just kept falling down my face. Eli soon let go and proceeded to follow me up to my room. I got in my bed, pulled my knees up to my chest and stared at anything except for her. Eli hadn't spoken a word. She was staring at me with her big grey brown eyes. Concern and worry were written all over her face.

"Thea?" I looked at her

"What happened?" I just shook my head and rested my forehead on my arms.

"I... I broke up... with Will." I mumbled into my arms. Eli came closer to me and wrapped her arms around me again. I didn't know what to feel. I broke up with him because I didn't love him. That's what I kept telling myself. That's what I so desperately wanted to believe. That the only reason I did this was because I didn't love him. But the truth was, I did it because I'm falling in love with her. And now that I did it, now that I broke up with him, things would never be the same. How am I supposed to tell my parents that I love this girl? How is Will going to feel when he finds out that I left him for her? The fact of the matter is that my life would never be the same. I looked up from my arms and put my forehead on Eli's.

"Please don't leave me." I cried.

"I'm right here." She said. She pulled me in again and this time I wrapped my arms around her and I didn't let go. I couldn't lose her. I can't.

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After I pulled myself together a little bit Eli and I laid down on my bed. I was laying on my side and Eli was spooning me. Her left hand was holding my left; with my right I was tracing circles on her arm. After about 20 minutes or so I heard her breathing change just a little, I figured she'd fallen asleep. I was about to fall asleep when I remembered that my phone was still in my back seat. I slowly let go of Eli's hand and carefully walked down the stairs and to the garage where my car was parked. When I got my phone and turned it on it started buzzing nonstop. I had calls and texts from Will and a bunch of texts from Molly and Lucy. Both of them had already heard the news and they were trying to get ahold of me and talk to me and what not. I read through all the texts from Lucy and Molly as I walked back up to my room. I couldn't look at the ones from Will. Not yet, they would just make me start crying again. I opened the door to my room and walked over to the bed. Eli was still asleep on it, but she was now on her back with her arm underneath her head. I sat on the bed and stared at the wall. When I looked down again at Eli I tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. She opened her eyes a bit and looked up at me.

"You want to talk about it?" she wasn't fully awake.

"No, I'm okay. You go back to sleep." She didn't though. She sat up and looked at me.

"It's okay. I'm already awake." I just gave her a tired smile, got more onto the bed and leaned my back against the wall.

"Sorry I woke you."

"You can wake me up any time." She put her head on my shoulder and we sat like that for a while.

A couple minutes later and I heard my phone start buzzing again. It was Will. I ignored the first two calls but on the third one I finally had to answer because I felt like if I didn't he would never stop calling.

"Will I..." he cut me off.

"I'm outside. Please come out." I looked at Eli and shook my head just a little bit. Eli just gave me a look.

"Okay." I hung up and started getting off the bed.

"Thea..." I looked back to see Eli staring at me. I walked over to her, gave her a kiss on the lips and said

"Stay here." She just nodded and sat on the bed.

I walked down the stairs as slow as I could. When I walked out the front door Will was leaning against his truck with his head down. I walked over to him and stopped when I was about 2 feet away from him. I didn't know what to say to him, so I just waited for him to talk.

"Is that Eli's jeep?" that wasn't the question I was expecting.

"Yeah. She's inside."

"Thea what happened back there? You didn't even explain anything you just said you were breaking up with me?" he wasn't yelling and he wasn't throwing a fit. He was trying not to cry.

"I'm sorry Will. I just... you deserve so much better." I was crying again.

"Thea you are all I've ever wanted. I want to marry you." He was crying now too.

"Will I'm sorry. I'm so so sorry. But I can't. I can't keep pretending like I'm okay when I'm not."

"Then tell me what I did wrong. I can fix it." His voice was broken and his eyes were full of pain.

"It's nothing you did Will, you're perfect."

"Thea then why? Please tell me at least that." I couldn't look at him. It hurt too much. Knowing that I was doing this to him. Knowing that I could never tell him why.

"I'm sorry Will. You just deserve so much better than what I've been giving you."

"That's not enough Thea. We've been together for 3 and a half years and you're just going to end it? I don't understand."

"I'm sorry." I could barely say the words anymore.

"Thea please don't do this. I love you."

"I'm so sorry Will." I couldn't say anything else. I turned around and walked back into my house. As soon as I closed the door I leaned my back against it and sunk to the floor. My head was in my hands and my elbows were on my knees. I heard his truck drive off and I felt a whole new force of emotions. A second later and I heard Eli running down the stairs to me. I just wrapped my arms around her.

"I hurt him so badly." I cried.

"I never wanted to do that."