It's been almost a month since I left the house. I went to his mama's house and got my sons.
I been at a hotel room since.
I was at my grandma's house but every day he was beating her door down looking for me.
I know I shouldn't be mad because we wasn't actually serious during the time she got pregnant but that shit hurt me. For 5 months he hid this secret from me and invited her to come stay with us without even asking me.
Brooke and Jazz was gone so I been dealing with this shit alone.
I cried for almost 2 weeks straight.
During that time I realized I needed to let that shit go and be the best mother I can be to my sons.
I just can't help to think he fucked her while I was away.
I was loading up to go back home and I was going to ask him. I pray he doesn't lie or I'm gone for good.
I strapped the boys in they carseat.
"Time to go see y'all stupid ass daddy." I said closing the door.
I got in and drove to our apartments.
___
I pulled up to see his car outside.
I parked and turned my car off. I sat there for a few minutes tryna debate if I wanted to crank this car up and drive the fuck off.
I heard a knock on the window making me look up.
It was Damarion.
I rolled it down. "Hi." I said. "You back?" He asked me. I just looked at him.
"Can you get the boys?"
He nodded. I got out the car and grabbed our stuff.
"I been missing you." He said.
"Yeah whatever." I responded going in the house. "Where she at?" I asked.
"Ion know she left early this morning."
I sat on the couch and put my hands on my face. I told myself I wouldn't cry but this shit hurt bruh.
"Baby." He said before removing my hands. "Don't cry." He pulled me on his lap. "Dude you don't understand how much I love you bruh.
You was there when I didn't have nothing except my baby sister.
When she was taken away you was still there.
I was going crazy damn near contemplated suicide every fucking day.
God sent you to me.
Our sons wasn't a mistake it was a message from God and my stupid ass got my heart too involved and fell for yo hoe ass."
"Baby I love you too matter of fact I'm in love with you bruh. When I found out she was pregnant I wanted her to get an abortion but I knew it wouldn't be right. I was afraid you'd leave that's why I didn't tell you."
I looked at him.
"Not telling me is what made me leave. You gotta grow out that lil boy mentality Mario.
All you had to do was sit me down and be like Ay baby I got Brandy pregnant when we was rocky in our relationship.
Yeah I probably would've smacked yo ass but I would've understood.
You was acting like you had some to hide dude."
"I know Raquel but I honestly do love you baby. I want another baby by you, I wanna marry you, I wanna die with you Raquel, you my fucking world baby." He wiped my tears.
