Trapped in the Shadows

Chapter 29 - Memories

The hours I had spent trying to break the cuffs off my wrist throughout the next couple days had only resulted in a small dent on the bed frame. No one else had come to visit me since Peter had left, besides to deliver me meals, which I was very thankful for. It gave me time to think. If I could get the restraints off I could easily escape, but if not I would have no choice but convince them that they were slowly turning me.

That plan was not the most desirable to me as I had begun to fear that I may actually start turning. Peter had already gotten me to question whether or not I had actually lost my memories due to a head trauma or if Hydra truly had brainwashed me. As I absentmindedly hit the cuff against the bed, I desperately tried to remember something, anything from my life before Hydra.

All I received were a few flashes from which I could make absolutely nothing out of. They were mostly of Peter: him smiling at me, him in the Spider-Man costume with his mask appearing to be in pain, him looking over at me with concern. There were a few times a flash of a different Avenger would pass by, but they were just as random and confusing.

I became more and more frustrated, desperate to escape from the cell and return to somewhere familiar. It didn't matter if Hydra was not what I had been told it was, it was a place where I knew who I was. I was their assassin, nothing more. I didn't have to worry about my past, I didn't have to struggle trying to recall people who claimed that they loved me. All I had to do there was follow orders blindly, it was a simple life.

Clearly I was not going to be able to break the cuffs off of my wrists as there was nothing better to bang it on than the bed frame. Instead I would have to break my hand to get them off. I had proved to be able to heal faster than a regular human and I had been studying regenerative magic so there was a chance that I could fix the broken bones.

Preparing myself for the blinding pain I was about to experience, I placed my right hand on the ground and lined my foot up above it. As I was bringing my foot down upon my hand with as much force as I could muster, I was rudely interrupted by Loki, "I wouldn't do that if I were you."

I rolled my eyes as I brought my foot back to the ground beside my foot and then looked up at him, "and why not?"

"Because those restraints aren't the only thing that is suppressing your magic. Breaking your hands may allow you to get your cuffs of, but you will not be able to escape this cell. So you might as well spare yourself from the pain," he explained, placing the meal that he had brought me in the tray to be let into my cell.

I rose from the ground and approached him, "why are you here, Loki? I thought you were supposed to be helping rule New Asgard?"

"The Avengers came to Thor for help catching you and I happened to overhear. Your skills are impressive, (Y/N), but unfortunately are no match for a master of magic."

"And why are you still here? I was captured three days ago, I think your mission is complete."

"I am staying until you break through this brainwashing. I have been mind-controlled before and I know it's not pleasant, so I am going to help you."

"Well, first of all, brainwashing and mind-control are two separate things. And I've not been brainwashed, I suffered a head trauma that caused me to lose my memory. I serve the organization that I work for by choice, not because they have brainwashed me into thinking it's the right thing to do."

He gave a small little smirk, "you can continue thinking that, (Y/N), but you'll remember eventually and recall that Hydra is not exactly known for creating a better world, but instead one fueled by fear."

"Like the earth that you wanted to reign over?"

"Ah, I see that you have studied up on me," he replied, although he didn't seem at all affected that I had reminded him of his painful past.