Trapped in the Shadows

Chapter 30 - My Choice

Peter came to visit me again the following day, having volunteered to deliver my lunch. He looked a mixture of disappointment and yet somehow also hopeful. His gaze lingered on me as he delivered the meal, watching me for any sign of change in my behavior.

"I brought you your lunch," he informed me unnecessarily, causing me to roll my eyes. "It's your favorite sandwich from Delmar's, I thought it might cheer you up."

"And why would I need cheering up?" I questioned, trying to harden my voice, yet I could feel my confidence wavering.

"Well, I know that if I were all alone in a cell for four days, I would need some cheering up."

"Trust me, I prefer to be left alone. I've already had a number of annoying visitors since arriving here and I have learned to make the most out of my solitude."

Peter paused and I could notice his lip trembling slightly, "then I suppose I should let you get back to your solitude since you love it so much."

"Wait, Peter," I stopped him before I could catch myself. "What was our first date?"

His eyes lit up with a hopeful spark, "you really want to know?"

I nodded and sat down on my side of glass separating the two of us. He gave a small smile and sat down on the other side. "It wasn't anything special. You came over my apartment and we ended up watching a bunch of Disney films, I think it was four in total. You also cooked May and I the most amazing dinner. The entire time I was so nervous that I was going to do or say something wrong because you were the most intelligent and confident woman I had ever met and I didn't want to lose you. You didn't leave until late at night and I walked you back to the train station, where we shared our final kiss of the night."

"After we spoke, I started getting images in my head of you, but they flashed by too quickly and had no context. And then last night, Wanda did something with my brain, forcing me to see segments of my memory. In those scenes, I felt loved. I felt as though I had a family," I confessed, unable to meet his eyes as I began to break down.

"(Y/N), you are loved and you do have a family. We are all here for you, waiting for you to return to us."

I felt tears stinging in my eyes as I broke down, "but how am I supposed to return to you? I don't even know who I am!"

"You're (Y/N) Stark, the woman who has a great inner strength that lends to her kicking ass on the battlefield, yet has the biggest heart I have ever seen. Your intelligence and wit rivals your father's and you never back down from a challenge. You despise fame but you also despise having to hide from the public. You appear to the outside world as unbreakable so when you break down around someone, they know that you trust them and are comfortable around them. You are the only woman that I will ever love, no matter what trials you are forced to go through. You're a woman who will remember who you are, no matter if it takes weeks, months, or even years."

"But what if I don't? I have spent the last six months killing, kidnapping, and interrogating for an organization that I thought I was a part of, that I thought I belonged to. I thought that I was making the world a better place, ushering in the new and glorious day to replace the corruption that exists today. I've changed, Peter, I don't know if I can ever become the woman that you once knew, not even if I returned to the Avengers."

"And? What would be so bad about that? Every person changes throughout their lives. If anything, you will come out stronger at the end of this. But no matter what, I will be here for you," Peter promised, placing his hand against the glass. I gave a small smile before lining up my hand with his, feeling a warmth spread throughout my body.