when in rome | ethan

thirty one

"cassandra?" i opened my eyes to andi standing it front of me, the sunlight shining through the blinds of the living room. i take in my surroundings, and quickly sit up. oh, i must've knocked out on the couch last night after putting ethan to sleep. gosh i feel like such a mom.

"oh good, you're awake." i blinked a couple times to adjust my vision. "i didn't want to wake you at first but i'm hungry. can you make me cereal?" she asks, her head tilting a bit.

i nod, rubbing my eyes. "sure." yawning, i stretched and walked towards the kitchen. "what time is it?" i asked andi as she followed me into the kitchen.

"it's 10 AM." she says, sitting herself on the bar stools. i pour her favorite cereal into her favorite bowl and open a drawer to get her a spoon. i open the fridge, grabbing the milk and pouring it into the cereal.

i slide the bowl to her. she stops it, saying thank you and eating away. "i should probably get going. has your dad waken up yet?"

she shakes her head, "he's still sleeping." she says. "please don't leave! i like playing with you!" she pouts, setting her spoon down momentarily.

i chuckled, shrugging. "i can stay for breakfast?"

"how about lunch?" she recommends instead.

"how about breakfast?" i replied.

"then brunch?" she says, laughing. i laugh along, nodding my head.

"what're you feeling." i ask her, opening the fridge and scanning the food availability.

"mmm... pancakes!" andi exclaims, holding up her spoon as she has an idea.

i chuckled, "pancakes it is. you and your dad are so alike."

as i was half way making pancakes, it was already almost 11 AM. andi claimed to be my little helper as i was cooking, but she mostly just watched me and handed me things i needed. i let her shape some of the pancakes as well as decorate some with fruit and whipped cream. she put sprinkles on hers.

"usually dad and i just go out to eat pancakes. this is so much more fun." she states, licking the whipped cream off her fingers.

"isn't it?" i laughed. "i used to do this with your dad." i say.

"make pancakes?" she asks.

i shake my head, "well, i mean. make any food."

she sighed, looking at the pan with the pancake cooking on it. "he doesn't do that with me."

"i was always the one coming up with the idea. he wasn't much of a cooker. so don't blame him." i smiled at her. she returned it, picking up a strawberry and eating it. "you can always cook with me."

suddenly, ethan walks into the kitchen, a tired expression lies on his face. he grabs a glass of water and an advil from the cupboard.

"daddy, look! cassandra and i made pancakes!" andi says, a big smile on her face as she showed off the decorations she did.

he smiled at her, a genuine look on his face at how wholesome this all was. "wow, it looks great, andi."

"he's not much of a morning person." andi whispers to me, hovering her hand over my ear so ethan couldn't hear nor see.

"i could tell," i whisper back, playing along. his hair was messy and he wore no shirt.

"andi, go get dressed and make sure to brush your teeth and fix your hair. okay?" ethan tells her. nooooo, don't take her away from me :(

"okay." she jumps off the chair she was standing on, and rushes out of the kitchen and up the stairs.

i watched as she left, suddenly feeling lonely. wow, she's really my best friend huh?

"hey, um. cass?" ethan says, catching my attention. he plays with his hair, a nervous expression lie on his face. "about last night... i kind of remember pretty much everything. so.. i'm sorry about that."

memories flood back of when he admitted to missing angela. "it's fine." i say, turning back around to the pancake on the stove. "want my advice? i say you apologize for whatever you've done. fix what was broken. silence won't solve anything." i tell him, my eyebrows furrowed.

i can't lie when i say it hurt to say that. but the only mature thing to do is let him do what he wants. i can never give him an ultimatum. but if i were to, last night he clearly chose angela.

as much as my heart loves ethan and andi, my mind is telling me that in the long run, it'll never work. ethan and i have broken up so many times. it's childish, really. and rome is where i live now. it feels selfish of me to leave my job.

ethan stays silent, confusing me. i turn around to look at him. he stands there with a confused look on his face. "cass, i don't want to get back with angela?"

i furrowed my eyebrows, "but.. you said you missed her?"

he shook his head, slightly walking toward me. "no, no, no. sure i miss her, but..." he hesitates.

"but what?" i try pushing, hoping he'd actually tell me something now.

"she's not..."

"i'm ready!" andi exclaims, shouting and entering the kitchen. she wears a pink dress, with a bow in her curly hair.

ethan kind of sighs of relief, glad andi interrupted his sentence. he didn't want to say it.  i guess when he's sober, he really keeps his thoughts to himself.

"wow andi, you look gorgeous!" ethan exclaims, swooping her into his arms. she screams, laughing. he sets her down on the chair she was previously standing on, a big smile on his face.

he looks at me, a sincere look on his face. "we'll talk next time. i promise." he says, before he brings his attention to andi showing him all the pancakes she decorated.

my phone vibrates in the pocket of my hoodie, and i take it out looking at the caller ID. my manager. excusing myself from ethan and andi, i take the phone call to the living room.

"hello?"

"hello cassandra, i know this trip means a lot to you. but i think it's best if you come home and continue your work." he says. "tons of fans are wondering why you've disappeared. and even ghosting on social media? your fans are worried."

"can't i just send a tweet saying i'm okay? that i'll be back soon?" i sighed, sitting myself on the couch.

"no, cassandra. i'm afraid that won't work. it's been months now, almost a year! if you don't find your inspiration soon, you'll be officially forgotten." he explains. "come back soon. okay?"

i sighed, rubbing the sleep out of my eyes. "okay." i couldn't argue with him. he always knew what was best for me and my career.

i hang up the call, and now a sudden feeling of stress is upon me. i have to be inspired. i've been here almost half a year and i have nothing.

"rough day at work?" i turn around to see ethan standing at the doorframe of the living room. his hands in his pocket.

i fully turn my body around, "you could say that." i replied. "i have to go back soon."

"to rome?" he asks, straightening his posture. a look of sadness washes over him.

i nodded my head, "yes. back to rome."

"well.. when're you leaving?" he asked.

i shrugged my shoulders. "whenever. at best, i probably have a couple of months left. i can't disappear forever."

he nodded showing his understanding. "i see."

i didn't want to leave. i loved it here. but all good things must come to an end. eventually.

END OF CHAPTER THIRTY ONE

hi bitchesss
anyone else addicted to watching tik toks
sometimes when i'm writing, i get distracted and scroll through tik tok for hours and don't finish a chapter that night when i intended to