when in rome | ethan

thirty three

9:40 PM

"here, let me." i say, grabbing his keys from his free hand, unlocking his door and opening it wide enough for both him and andi to come in.

"thanks." he grunts, walking in. "i'm gonna go put her to bed." he says. i nod, watching as he carried her up the stairs and to her bedroom.

andi had a long night, filled with tons of fun. after the entire thing, she was so exhausted. by the end of the party, we were all exhausted too. but when ethan asked me if i wanted to come over, i said yes because i took mia's advice to cherish my moments and spend time with them as much as i can before i leave. who knows when i'll be back. five years was long enough and so much happened.

i sat myself on the couch, stripping my jacket from my body. i lay the jacket on the arm of the couch, sighing. i throw my head back, staring at the ceiling.

i'm torn. i honestly am. i want to stay, but work, in a way, is begging me to come back so i don't neglect and forget about it. though, i never could. it let me get recognized and for that i'm grateful. i actually have money now.

"sorry it took a while, i thought she was gonna wake, so i had to be extra quiet." he chuckled, plopping down on the couch seat next to me.

i smiled, "it's fine."

"hey, the present you gave her. she really liked it. thank you for that." he smiled, as he stared into my eyes.

my smile grew. "she's growing up. i don't want her to forget me. i don't know when i'll next see her." i say, a wave of sadness washes over me. "or you."

his eyebrows slightly furrowed. he was upset. "we'll never forget you. i promise." he says. "this is probably the most fun she's had in a long time." he chuckled. "and besides. i dated you basically my whole life. aside from angela, you were the only serious relationship i ever had."

memories flood back of ethan and i dating for so very long, with many breaks in between. it was a very long commitment, but the fact that i still have feelings for him to this day tells me something.

"did you ever date in rome?" ethan asks, slightly changing the subject.

i shook my head, "no. i mean, i slept with a couple people but... i never dated."

"why not? they're lucky to have you." he states, without even realizing it.

i chuckled, moving a piece of hair behind my ear. 'they weren't you', is what i wanted to say. "i was really focused on work." i shrugged.

"how's that going anyways? have you decided when you're gonna go?"

i shook my head, licking my lips briefly. "no. i really want to stay. at this point, i'm just waiting for another call from my manager telling me once more that i have to go."

he nods slowly, "andi really wants you to stay too... i want you to stay."

a smile slowly appears on my lips at how sweet he was being. i had no room in my mind to think about being sad at the fact that i have to face reality and go back to rome any day now. it's more clouded with the screaming thoughts of my excitement. excited because at least i was here. you know?

our eye contact never dies. in fact, i kind of blank for a second. hard enough to where i didn't even notice he was slowly inching towards me, leaning in with every second passing by.

he takes his hand that was once resting on the back of the couch, gently caressing the skin of my cheek and eventually holding the back of my head, pulling me closer slowly.

i've wanted this. my heart aches at the thought of it actually happening. a good ache.

he grabs ahold of my hand, using his free one and interlocking them. my blush deepens. he continues to inch forward until finally he kisses me. gentle yet passionate. i kiss back, pulling him closer as i take the back of his neck to deepen the kiss.

a sudden realization hit me, and abruptly, i pull away only slightly; our faces still inches apart. "what about angela?" i whispered, in a pained voice. i know it was silly, bringing her up. but despite him kissing me, i'm still not certain for i haven't heard him say it himself.

he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, "what about her?" he asks, the same level of whisper as me.

"you say you don't want her but can't come up with a why." i replied. "you want someone. but it's not me. it's her. isn't it?" my heart aches. this time, a bad ache.

he shook his head, pecking my lips as he took in the sad expression on my face. "no. i want you." he says. "i don't want her because she's not you."

he moves the fallen hair to behind my ear, looking me closely in the eyes. "it's always gonna be you."

i feel my eyes get tearful, my heart get heavy, the heat rushing to my face, and a wave of relief wash over me. so many things.

kissing him once more, i have never felt better. he lays me down on my back, now hovering over me. he holds my waist, his hand slightly touching my bare skin, sending a chill and making me have goosebumps.

"daddy?"

ethan quickly springs up, looking over the couch to see andi standing at the end of the stairs. i cover my mouth in attempt at being quiet as i lay out of andi's vision and behind the other side of the couch.

"hey, sweetie. what're you still doing up?" he asks, "i thought you were sleepy."

"i'm thirsty." she states. "where's cassandra?" she yawns, holding her blanket in her arm and rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.

"she.. went home." he says. i hit his arm, signaling that it was a very bad lie.

andi pointed to my jacket on the arm of the couch, "her jacket is still here." she says. looking down at the floor, she spots my shoes also. "and her shoes."

i roll my eye at ethan's terrible lying. i sit up from the couch, my head peeking out. "i'm right here, andi." i chuckle. "your dad was just joking."

andi chuckled along, "how funny, dad." she says, before walking into the kitchen and flicking the light on. i hear her rummage through the fridge to get her drink.

when he looked back at me, all he does is shrug.

andi walks back into the living room and ready to walk back up the stairs and to her bedroom once more. "and by the way. i knew you guys were kissing. i could hear you from upstairs." she jokes, faking a gag.

she turns around, walking back up the stairs and eventually out of our vision. ethan and i look at eachother briefly before we share a laugh.

moments like these were the ones i was going to miss the most.

END OF CHAPTER THIRTY THREE

they kissed uwu