when in rome | ethan

forty three

"i can just imagine the song 'perfect day' playing right now." ethan says, laughing at his own comment. i look down at andi as she holds onto my hand tightly. together, we roll our eyes playfully.

we were walking around rome for our first day here together. it was in fact, a perfect day. we've already gotten ice cream, like old times, visited many tourist attractions and even ate lunch on a rooftop restaurant as we overlooked the city.

the green walking light flashes on, and we cross the crosswalk. we walk past the trevi fountain, many tourist lined up to throw their money into it.

"you know, i was going to take you there back in college." ethan says, pointing to the fountain. "but mrs bruno wouldn't give me the time." he chuckles.

i smiled just imagining the timing of how everything played out. being in rome with ethan brought back many amazing memories. i'm glad we ended up together despite having such a complicated time when we were younger.

"what's so important about a fountain?" andi asks.

i shrugged. "well, legend has it, if you throw one coin in, you'll return to rome. if you throw two, you'll return and fall in love. and if you throw three, you'll return, fall in love and get married."

"how many would you have thrown in if you had the time back in college?" i ask ethan, curious for his answer.

he quickly takes our hands, pulling us toward the fountain as we push past tourist. as andi stares at the beautiful blue water lovingly, ethan takes out his coins.

"three." he simply says, smiling as he tosses his coins into the fountain.

WHEN IN ROME

"wow. that's... that's a good thing isn't it?" mia laughs as we talk through the screen. "i don't know why you're freaking out. you're what? twenty eight? twenty nine? i think you deserve to settle down with a nice man who'd travel across the world just to see you again after only being apart a couple months."

"it's not like he asked you to get married, cass." aria says. "he's just hinting that maybe one day... you know."

i furrow my eyebrows in discomfort. "i feel bad for even thinking about this." i sigh, referring to the fact that i don't think i'm necessarily ready to get married yet. it scared me that ethan was thinking about it.

though i loved him with my whole heart and would love to spend the rest of my life with him, it somehow didn't feel set in stone.

"if you're thinking about your career in rome, you could always retire." aria shrugged. "you're already stacked and even after retirement, you'll still be famous."

i shake my head. "no, i'm not worried about that." retire? psh, whatever.

mia raises an eyebrow. "then what's the problem?" for a second, i hesitate telling her that i'm simply scared.

i hear the shower head abruptly turn off. "gotta go, girls." i'm quick to end the call, not wanting ethan to hear what we'd been talking about.

i sigh of relief, brushing the hair from andi's face as she lie in my bed fast asleep. what's the worst that could happen, cass? not only would you get to call ethan your husband, but you'd get to call andi your daughter also.

i furrow my eyebrows in confusion. i don't know why i'm thinking this. the answer should be obvious, cass. don't you want this?

"hey. who were you talking to just then?" ethan comes out of the bathroom, slightly damp from his shower.

i leaned against the headboard, sitting next to andi. "just the girls." i simply say, shrugging.

"oh." he mutters, going through his unpacked suitcase as his towel lies loosely around his hips. "what'd you guys talk about?"

i couldn't help but gawk at him, unable to peel my eyes away for a second. "oh you know... girl stuff." i chuckle.

i watch as he changes into his go-to t-shirt and sweats before coming over and sitting at the edge of the bed and next to me. he sighs, a slight and sympathetic smile lay on his face. "actually, i... kind of heard everything."

for a second, i didn't know what to say. god, i feel so bad. "... you did?"

he simply nods, that smile never leaving his face. "it's okay, cass. i'm sorry about that. i didn't know it'd make you so uncomfortable—"

"no, it's fine." i chuckle, quick to hold his hand for reassurance. "don't apologize. if anything, i'm sorry. i should've just talked to you instead of running to the girls like i always do. it's a very childish thing to do." i explain. "it's just hard to talk about my problems with you, cause i want what we talk about to be positive."

"not that marriage is a problem." i add. "i want to get married one day, but... not now."

he chuckles. "cass, i'm not asking to marry you right now." he explains, kissing my forehead. "but i'll never know how you feel about it unless we talk about this kind of stuff. and now i know."

"married or not, i still love you. it doesn't define it." ethan adds, squeezing my hand. "okay?"

my tip tugs up into a smile as i sigh of relief. i don't know what i did to get such a loving and understanding boyfriend. despite our past multiple breakups, we always found our way back to each other. i'm so glad we did. i don't know where i'd be now had he not shown up in my life once more.

"you're the best, you know that?" i tell him, sincerely.

"only when i'm with you." he replies, leaving a small but passionate kiss on the surface of my lips.

that night, as i lie in bed, sleeping next to andi, i imagine a married life and how it's not different from the one i have now at all.

here i was, sleeping on the same bed as ethan, the only thing separating our touch was his six year old daughter whom i adored so much.

i couldn't tell you why i was so scared of it, i just knew i was. but the more i thought about it, the more i asked myself again and again:

what's the worst that could happen?

END OF CHAPTER FORTY THREE

ok but the fountain part was pretty cute ngl

hey i'm back! maybe i'll update lemonade tmmr ??
who knows lol