when in rome | ethan

forty four

four months later

i gasped, my hands flying over my mouth as my mom pulled ethan into her infamous giant bear hug. he chuckles, standing there awkwardly as her arms squeezed the life out of him. "ahhh!" she screamed as she laughed with pure and utter joy. "finally! finally!"

she pulls away from her hug with ethan before briefly holding ethan's face with her hands as she squeezed his cheeks like he was a child. she then turns to me and lovingly embraces me in a huge hug, similar to ethan's as she spun me around. "my baby's finally all grown up now!"

a light flashes beside us as my mom sets me to my feet again. lisa snaps a picture of us, smiling from ear to ear as she held andi in her arms. " awh, so precious." she says, feeling heartfelt. we had told her the news first before coming to my house to share. lisa insisted to come too, for she wanted to capture the reactions.

"congratulations, mija!" my dad says, hugging me after hugging ethan. he was pretty bad a showing affection with this type of thing. i'm pretty sure he was just copying my mom even though he was equally as excited.

"thank you, papa." i reply, stuffing my face in his chest as i hugged him back. it made me happy that they were so okay with it, especially after all the bad things i had to say about ethan the first time we broke up.

my mom sighs dramatically, hugging my dad after all that hugging. "i can't believe we're gonna be grandparents!" she says, enthusiastically. "i'm getting old!"

"don't go crying on me now." my dad jokes, hugging my mom back. she laughs before telling him it was too late. she'd been waiting and nagging me forever about getting a baby. after all, i'm in my late twenties.

lisa was so glad to finally hear ethan would have another child. she was excited when news about andi came about but she was even more thrilled to know i'd be sticking around unlike angela, who i have come to learn lisa is not fond of.

after rome, ethan and i came back to the united states again. this time, together. i recall at the time, i wasn't even ready to get married. so i never thought i'd be ready enough to have my own baby too.

after returning, ethan and i had spent many long and romantic nights with one another. he treated me like a princess each and every night. like i was someone he could never let out of his grasp. not ever again.

we found ourselves constantly fooling around like we were teenagers again, squeezing time anywhere and everywhere just to fulfill our lusting desires. and somewhere along the way.... i wound up pregnant.

at first, i was horrified. i completely convinced myself i wasn't ready as i cried by myself in the bathroom. after i pulled myself together though, i came out of the bathroom, a mess, to the sight of andi curled up in ethan's arms as the show 'my little pony' played faintly on the tv in front of them.

i snapped myself out of my horrified state because in that moment, i realized that i was ready and i have been for a while now. i cried again shortly after. i know, pretty sensitive, right?

but i guess i wasn't the only one who was really sensitive to the news, though, because after some extreme overthinking and over worrying, i finally decided to tell ethan what i had been dying to the moment i saw those two sleeping on the couch.

he cried too.

for some reason, in that moment, the moment he burst into tears, memories of the two of us together when we were younger came flowing back quickly.

i recall how horrible i used to treat him. i made up awful thoughts about how he hated me only so i could distance myself further away from the hard truth: that i loved him.

i neglected the thought of loving him for so long. i even broke up with him multiple times. in doing so, that only proved i couldn't stay away from him for long because every time i broke it off, ethan and i only grew closer together each time.

i found myself becoming so stubborn for ignoring his pleas to be with me again because i was so scared of this. of life with him. i don't know why. i don't know why i wasted life not thinking twice before i did something.

as i watched his tears of joy fall from his face after hearing we were going to have a baby, i knew for sure i'd no longer distance myself. i'd no longer neglect him. i'd no longer be stubborn. i'd be ready for anything.

i'd be ready for living with him. i'd be ready to wake up to him by my side every morning. i'd be ready to care for andi and the newborn. i'd be ready to love ethan without being scared anymore. and yes, i'd even be ready for marriage.

"you're special." he'll tell me.

i'm myself because of you. god, i love you. i really do. i always have. i always will. i'll never forget how special you made me feel.

no, ethan. i'm not special. you are. you are why i smile more. why i cherish life. why i learn to love. if you think i'm special, i can't wait to tell you how special you really are. i can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you without second guessing anymore. i can't wait to one day take our kids all around the world. i can't wait to marry you. i can't wait to tell you i love you every night.

and i definitely can't wait to tell our kids the story of how you and i finally realized just how special we were to each other, when in rome.

END OF CHAPTER FORTY FOUR
AND END OF BOOK

yes! finally, when in rome is FINISHED YAY!!!

ITS BEEN SUCH A JOURNEY AND I LOVE EVERY SINGLE PERSON WHO HAS READ AND STAYED WITH THIS BOOK SINCE THE BEGINNING AHH!!

this book was so special to me 🥺 i'm sad it's over but i'm glad cassandra and ethan finally get they're happy ending.

it's kinda booty that it's finished in such a weird way but i figured if i want to start on new books with new ideas, i'd stop dragging out books for so long.

eventually, lemonade is going to come to an end too (which makes me kinda sad to think about) so i'm already starting to make new books! they're just hidden in my drafts.

i can't wait to share more stories with you all!

love you, bye!