fifteen

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This morning I woke up at six in the morning, unable to sleep. I crawled out of bed, trying my hardest not to wake Calum. I slipped into the bathroom, and brushed my hair and teeth. After I finished, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and I could see the marks Noah created that littered my body. I let out a deep sigh and decided to look away before I did something I would regret.

I walked down the stairs, expecting no one to be awake but was surprised when I saw Michael sitting on the couch.

"Couldn't sleep?" He asked, keeping his voice low as not to wake up our parents and Calum.

"No, you?" I asked, joining him on the couch.

"Nope." He replied, popping the P. We both sat in silence for a few minutes, before Michael spoke up. "It's going to be okay, Ryan. I know it doesn't feel like it, but it will be. Noah will be put away for a long time and you will be able to breathe." He reassured me, knowing exactly what I was thinking.

"Thank you, Mikey. For everything." I said, hugging him. He rubbed my back and squeeze me tightly before pulling away.

"Anything for my little sister." We decided to turn on the TV and watch a movie until the rest of the household woke up. We soon fell asleep, my head in Michael's lap.

Around nine, our mum woke us up and told us to go get ready. I trudged upstairs and saw Calum was in the bathroom, so I picked out my outfit. I chose black skinny jeans and my Nirvana t-shirt. I finished the look by pulling my hair into a messy bun and going back downstairs for breakfast.

When I got downstairs, my mum looked up from the stove where she was cooking breakfast and stopped me. "Ryan, you're going to be a witness. You need to wear a dress." I laughed at her comment, but stopped when I realized she was serious.

"Mum, I don't own any dresses." I informed her. She just shook her head and pointed to the stairs.

"Go pick out a dress from my closet and put it on please." I just rolled my eyes and retreated back upstairs to scour my mums closet.

After about twenty minutes, I had looked through her entire closet and didn't find a single thing that was decent. Just as I was about to give up, Calum walked past the door and I called him in.

"Cal, my mums making me wear a dress of hers. I need help picking one that doesn't make me want to throw up or stab my eyes out." He laughed at my comment and walked over to me.

"Anything for you, Ry." He looked through some of the dresses and pulled out a black and white striped dress. I was surprised I didn't find this before, but it was decent so I took it and thanked Calum.

I brought the dress to my room and put it on, matching it with my black vans and black leather jacket

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I brought the dress to my room and put it on, matching it with my black vans and black leather jacket. I didn't add any jewelry, I didn't put on any makeup and I kept my hair in my messy bun because I didn't have anybody to impress. Honestly if it was up to me, I would have gone in my sweat pants and Calum's hoodie.

I walked back downstairs to see that Luke, Ashton and Amelia had gotten here. They were sitting at the kitchen table with Calum, Michael and my parents. Everyone was eating, but there was a spot open for me to sit between Calum and Luke. I went to sit and Calum smiled up at me.

"I knew that dress would look good on you." He said, smiling to himself. I just nodded and turned to Luke.

"Morning, stranger." I nudged him in the shoulder, sitting down beside him.

"Good morning." He said, focusing on his food. "I didn't know you wore dresses." He commented, keeping his voice low as not to talk over the conversation that was happening amongst everyone else.

"I don't, its my mums." I replied, not even looking at him.

We ate the rest of our breakfast, everyone talking about different things. The atmosphere was a bit tense because everyone knew exactly what was coming, but no one addressed it. After about thirty minutes, we all cleared our dishes and piled up in the same cars as yesterday to head down to the courthouse.

We arrived at the courthouse and I immediately felt my nerves come on. This was going to be the first time I actually told other people what happened, other than my family and the authorities.

I looked over to Calum and saw that he was in conversation with Ashton and Amelia, so I decided not to intervene. I looked ahead and saw that Luke was a few paces in front, so I jogged up to catch up to him. I wanted to catch up with him and make sure he was okay with all that is going down.

"Hey, how are you?" I asked, once I caught up to him. He looked at me in confusion and let out a short laugh.

"I'm good, and you?" He asked, looking down to me. I didn't know what it was but ever since yesterday, I felt like every time he looked at me, it hurt him.

"Well, it's hard hearing that lawyer try to say that I was lying." I said, looking down to my feet as we continued to walk. I felt Luke's hand slide down my wrist and intertwine his fingers with mine.

"I'm here for you. We all are." He smiled to me, but it seemed more of a sad smile. "You look amazing, by the way. You always do." He added, and I felt a light blush creep onto my cheeks. Before I could reply, we reached the courthouse and walked inside. We quickly took a seat in the same spots as last time, waiting for the trial to begin.

Ten minutes passed and the judge finally walked in the room, everyone standing up then sitting back down once he relaxed in his chair.

"Alright, would the prosecution care to call up their witness?" The judge asked, looking to Mr. Kelly.

"The prosecution calls Ryan Charlotte Clifford to the stand, your honour." He stated. I stood up from my seat when he said my name and walked up to the stand, a bailiff escorting me and making me take an oath. After I was done, I fixed my dress and looked to Mr. Kelly to let him know I was ready.

"Ms. Clifford, what happened last Sunday night? Please explain with as much detail as possible." I cleared my throat and looked down to my hands.

"Well, Noah texted me and asked me to come over but I told him no. Then he said nice try and that he was going to pick me up. I decided to call him and we fought on the phone. I wanted to end our relationship but he refused. Finally, he said he would just make me dinner and that we wouldn't have sex." I paused, fighting to hold back tears.

I resumed, "Luke Hemmings, my friend, dropped me off at Noah's house around 7p.m. When I got inside, I saw that there was no food, so I told Noah that if he wasn't making me dinner, I was going to leave. He insisted that I stay, and then told me we were going to have 'goodbye sex'. I told him no, but he didn't listen." I said, a tear falling down my face. I quickly wiped it away and tried to compose myself.

I continued, "I tried to leave but he pushed me into his room and threw me on the bed. He got duct tape to tape my mouth shut and tied me to his bed frame with rope. I couldn't move, I couldn't scream." I said, tears streaming down my face. I had to stop talking because I was crying so much.

"I know this is hard, Ryan. Take your time." Mr. Kelly reassured me, giving me some tissues. I nodded, looking back up and locking eyes with Luke. He looked so guilty and sad which only made me want to give him a hug. I broke the eye contact and looked back down to my lap.

"He pulled off my clothes and stripped himself. He then pushed himself inside of me and he..." I trailed off, not wanting to say it out loud.

"He what, Ryan? What did Noah do?" Mr. Kelly asked, pushing the subject.

"He raped me." I let out, my voice barely above a whisper.

"Thank you, Ms. Clifford. That's all your honour." Mr. Kelly said, walked back to his table.

When I saw Noah's lawyer walk up to me, my heart immediately sunk because I knew exactly what he was going to say.

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