The Plan | l.r.h

twenty-four

Ryan's POV

We got to the church for the wedding twenty minutes early. When we got there, Luke had to quickly run back to help out Jack with any last minute things, so I found Luke's parents and sat next to them. We talked for a few minutes and they asked me how Luke and I's relationship was going, since they knew that we were officially dating now. I told them that it was going really well and Luke was amazing because it was true.

"Have you told him you love him yet?" Liz asked me, catching me off guard. She was studying me as I tried to find a way to explain to her that I wasn't there yet. I guess she saw that I was struggling to find words because she just nodded and patted my hand in my lap. "It's okay, you'll get there. Love is a tricky thing, but you can't be afraid of it. You have to accept it, and then, it will be a euphoric feeling, I promise." I gave her a smile and we sat in silence for a bit.

"He loves you, though. A lot. I can see it in his eyes when he's looking at you and I hear it in his heart when he talks about you." When Liz said this, I felt butterflies in my stomach. A tear slipped down my cheek and before I could catch it, Liz saw and smiled. She whispered in my ear, "You don't have to tell him until you're ready. But I know, you love him." I felt my heart leap into my chest when she said this, but before I could react, the church music started and everyone was standing up to greet the bride.

☆

After the ceremony, everyone was directed to the hall where the reception would be held. Luke drove us over, a big smile on his face. "Wow, can you believe it? My brother's married! That's insane." He was bursting with energy, I think he was more excited than Jack was.

"Yeah, it is kinda crazy, huh. I mean, I just met Jack, but now he's married. Wow." We both went silent after I said that. We were now parked at the reception venue, but neither of us moved to get out of the car. I think we were both thinking the same thing.

"Do you ever, like, think about... our wedding? I mean, like, not us getting married. Fuck, like, I mean, shit. Do you, like, think about... what's next for us? Because you know I love you and everything..." Luke asked, confusing me a bit.

"Like in our relationship?" I asked him, trying to understand what he was asking me. He nodded and I pondered it for a second. "I-I don't know, Luke," I sighed. "I feel like you and your parents are all pressuring me to feel something and say something I'm not sure of yet. Why can't you just let me process all this at my own pace?" Tears started running down my face and I couldn't stand to be in this car anymore. I pushed myself out of the car and ran inside, finding the closest bathroom and locking myself in a stall.

I sat here for ten minutes, sobbing, when I heard someone walk in. "Ryan?" I heard a voice call, pausing to listen. I didn't know what to answer but I didn't have to. I heard the footsteps come closer to my stall and stop right in front. I was sitting on the ground, my back leaning against the stall. I was sure he could see my dress on the ground. I heard him sit down on the tile ground and felt his back press against the stall that was now in between our backs.

"Ry, I'm so sorry. I know you're not ready yet. I've been smothering you, always telling you I love you. I really do though," he paused. "But I understand that you need time to process and I haven't given that to you. I've been pressuring you to be at the same place as I am and I haven't been giving you the space you need to come to that conclusion on your own." I couldn't find words to respond to Luke, so instead I just stayed quiet. "I hope you'll stay for the reception, but if you want to go home, I understand." I heard him get up and walk out of the bathroom. My heart broke at the desperation in his voice. I felt so guilty, how could I do that to him?