White Queen

Night and Day

It really felt odd.

To stand before the standing mirror, to look at her reflection and yet not recognizing who the woman that was staring right back at her. This woman, with fuller face and belly that now had grown to be on the same level as her breasts –that has actually grown larger, when she had stood to a side, did not feel like her. Her fair skin, once described by many as flawless and smooth –perfect, had now had marks over the curve of her stomach from how much it had stretched with the growth of her child no matter how much soothing cream she had her ladies-in-waiting applied to her that Gerda had promised to reduce the markings.

She felt... irritatingly disgusted.

Because she loved her child dearly, she loved this product of love that she and Hans had created and carried within herself with all her heart could possibly offer, she would protect this gift from anyone and anything that come it's way with her own bare hands –magic or no magic; but she hated looking at the mirror to see the changes that her body had undergo. She had barely reached the fourth month and yet she had felt so insecure over her body, leaving her with fear of what she would ended up like when she was near the end of her pregnancy.

"Hans?" Tugging her nightgown down to cover her stomach once again, she had made her way to the bathing chamber, where Hans stood facing another mirror –one nailed to the wall, while he washed his face. He hadn't turn around, simply looking at her reflection as he splashed another handful of water onto his face with a hum. "You... love me, right?"

His eyebrow rose in question, hand grabbing onto the washcloth to dab against his face, drying it. "What a silly question, of course I do."

"Even if I change?"

The silence that came from him had actually made her uneasy as she stood at the doorway. "What is it, Elsa?" But she didn't want another question, she wanted an answer, and she had clearly expressed it in the way she had narrowed her eyes with the press of her lips. He had understood then, and let out a sigh as he turned to face her. "That depends."

Not the answer that she wanted. Her expression had fell then, nodding her head once as she began to turn around and leave. "Good to know."

"Not like that." His fingers came to wrap around her wrist, halting her from leaving, holding her back as he made her turn back around to face him, and she did her best not to look as pathetic as she felt within. "I mean, if you turn into a cold-hearted ruler that thinks only of herself and not of her people, one that rule with cruelty and bring nothing chaos to the kingdom, I would have to consider then." Hans and his play of words. Rolling her eyes at his explanation, his free hand had come up to cup against her face, thumb brushing over her cheekbone. "But if you mean physical change, then no, I would never stop loving you for such thing. I know what you're thinking and no, you're not fat."

She had laughed, bitterly, at the last sentence. "Stop lying to yourself."

"Stop doing this to yourself." His lips left a light kiss on the tip of her nose. "Elsa, you're glowing, your body is blossoming with motherhood, and it's beautiful. This," both hands had moved to hold her bump then, gentle touches sending a spark up her spine. "This is our child, this is proof of how incredible you are to bear another human being inside of you, darling."

"You are not going to search for a mistress to replace me, do you?" It was no new news for Kings to turn into having mistresses when their wives were pregnant, to find young women whose body was well-kept and able to satisfy their needs, but she couldn't bear even the thought of having another woman to touch her husband the way she does, to discover each and every detail of his body that she had explored over and over again.