White Queen

Life and Death

A part of her wished she had not go.

But how could she not? When she hasn't visited them in so long, had never have the strength and courage to make the journey to see them, eaten by the fear of the unknown and of what she knew she would feel if she saw those two rocks standing tall, towering above her. She had promised it upon herself that she would make amends with her past, to let go of the hardship that often still gnawed on her mind, and this was a step closer into achieving that peace.

The grass around the rocks were always so neatly trimmed, peeking through the thinning layer of snow that had beginning to melt and dampened the ground, no doubt soiling her shoes and the hem of her dress, but she had barely cared as she stood before the looming rocks, right between the two as she looked up at the runic alphabet carved below the Arendelle crocus. Even reading the names there already tightened her chest.

They would be grandparents soon.

Anna voice echoed in her mind, unknowingly had been the one that prompted her to make the journey up the small hill outside Arendelle's castle walls. It reminded her of how she had never come and present her pregnancy to her own parents. She stood by their paintings, yes, staring at their cold and lifeless eyes, but never before their last resting place, even when she knew that the caskets that people had lowered into the ground years ago were empty, as the late King and Queen were never been recovered from the depth of the sea.

'Even with the knowledge that my son would most likely never gave me his permission, I must admit, Queen Elsa, that there is nothing I would like more than to see my grandchild.'

She had kept the letter, folded neatly in one of her drawers, out of Hans' reach for it was not for him to read, and had not written any sort of answer to send to the older Queen. She didn't know what to say, hand unmoving even when she had held the feather quill in her hand, above the parchment, as teeth bit against bottom of her lip. Queen Adela herself had admitted that she expect no answer if she was unable to form any, did not expect anything from the daughter in-law that never once she had met.

"This is your grandchild." Pressing a hand to the apex of her round belly, she curved it slowly as her child moved along her touch to make her point. She had felt ridiculous in talking with inanimate objects, to stare at it's silence and knowing that she would never receive an answer in return. But the words had escaped her lips anyway, for she had always wanted to make her parents proud, and Anna had told her that they would with the addition of their family. "I will be a mother soon."

The thought still felt odd, and yet it reminded her of how close that future was for her to reach, how soon it would become her reality. She would hold her child in her arms soon, no longer having it safe and sound as her womb provided it with the security and all the warmth it could offer.

She remembered her dream, one where her parents had come to visit her, to apologize to her, whether it was a friction of her imagination or it was really their spirits showing themselves before her, she still believed it to be her saving grace, a chance for her to let go of the past. And yet, even when she had given her forgiveness, had let go the way that Anna had told her to, there was still something missing. Like a lump in her throat that refused to go away.

She forgave them, but she didn't open her heart, had still pushing the thought of them away from herself and from the family she built, had refused to have the memories of her own parents to be something other than nightmares, to see past the hardship of her life to see the loving parents that they truly were.

This visit, and the ones that would come, hopefully would be her making amends with that.

Suppressing a wince, she placed a soothing hand on the underside of her belly. She had been aching with pains since the morning, causing her discomfort throughout breakfast and after, and yet she had been planning on this visit for quite some time and was not looking forward in having to gather up her courage once more to face her parents.

"Alright, alright, we are heading home now." Her child had been rather impatient, it seemed, for her to return back to the castle, as aside from the discomfort that she had been having, her child had been squirming a lot, pushing against her organs and her bladder. "But promise me, do not tell your Papa about this."

Hans would most likely would not agree with her going out and about when her due was coming closer by the day, especially not hiking up the hill to see her parents who had been serving as a trigger for her emotional state. Yet she had been surprisingly handling it quite well, there was no tears and she felt rather light after actually facing her fear, thus there was truly nothing to be worried about.

Turning around, she nodded at the guard standing at a distance, a sign that she was ready to return.

--

"You look pale."

Had his tone did not change, she was doubtful on whether she would have heard what he had just said. Walking down the halls after dinner, they had been engaging in a light conversation of what their day had been, or rather, she had been trying to listen to his words. The pains had not go away, instead had been increasing in frequency and regularity as the day went by. She had tried her best in masking it all, often shifting in her seat or changing her footing when the muscles of her belly tightened, brushing off people's concerned looks.

Yet during dinner there had been one that was intense enough to make her fingers curled around her silverware so tightly she was sure she had bended it. She had leaned forward in her seat then, jaws tightening as she swallowed down the wince that surfaced up. Both Hans and Anna had expressed their confusion and concern, but she had lied through her teeth by saying that the babe had merely kicked a little too hard.

Retiring to her bedchamber had never sounded so relieving for her before, but as she had announced that dinner had ended, she had stood up as quickly as her body could let her, taking Hans' offered hand to help her up to her feet. The walk itself had been rather slow, as the auburn haired Prince had matched her speed of stride, hand rubbing comforting circle on the small of her back.

"Do I?" Even her tongue had no capability to deny, to lie about her being 'fine', as she was sure something was up, if she had to go through with this, though she had refused to put her finger on a certainty for fear of misjudging the situation.

And as soon as the words had left her lips, one of the pains had strike so severely that she had halted with a caught back groan, hand pressing against her belly as the other had gripped her husband's arm fiercely, nails digging into the fabric of his jacket.

"Elsa?" His voice bear the tone of concern, a little bit of fearful, as he did not even comment on her vice-like grip, simply moving to support her a little better as she struggled to breathe through the pain. "Is everything alright?"

Her head nodded as she felt the pain reducing, fading as it came down from it's peak back into nothingness, looking up at him with a reassuring smile. "Yes, I'm fine, I'm-" a sudden gush coming between her legs under her skirt had cut her off as she bend down to look over her belly to see the steady stream trickling onto the wooden flooring. "No, I'm not fine."

Looking down onto what she had referring to, Hans had thankfully understood the situation that they were in, eyes reflecting a different kind of light as he nodded, swiftly moving to lift her up so effortlessly just as another wave of pain came, prompting her to bury her face against his chest as he began to move down the halls.

"Fetch the midwives!"